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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 05:50 AM

I've grown to truly believe there's n hope left for me
It's sort of a long story so I'm not gonna bother
But for a stupid fucked up reason
I dont want to live anymore
I don't see the point.
I hate myself so much and I'm sick of it.
I dont want to have to put up with it anymore


Lawl.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
TheNumber42 Offline
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 06:36 AM

Hey Krystianna, I'm so sorry you feel this way.

Life is precious, and once you give it up you can never get it back. Think of all the people you'd hurt, and I know alot of people that care about you would be devastated. Think about all the things you'll never be able to do. Suicide may seem like an easy option, but it isn't the answer.

Could you talk to us about what's bothering you? I don't mind a long story. If you feel more comfortable, you can PM me too, I'm happy to help any way I can.

*hug* Stay strong


~Cody

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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 06:41 AM

Hey Krystianna,

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, sweetie. And I'm sorry that things are hurting so much right now - yeah, it sucks when things get that way, and you shouldn't have to put up with that.

But that doesn't mean that you yourself shouldn't go on.

And hey, you've got a point right here. There are people who care about you here - and you're a point all by yourself. People kind of innately matter, whether or not they realize it.

We'll help you find some hope, sweetie. Don't worry.

If you'd like, feel free to PM me! I'd love to talk anytime. And I like long stories

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 06:44 AM

Hey Krystianna :]
I know that life is hard sometimes, and I know and can relate to how you're feeling, and it's not easy. But I think one of the things we all often forget when we're facing times such as you are right now, is that we're never without hope. Sure, it's easy to feel that we're without it at times, but I don't believe that that's ever truly the case. Think of all the things that have ever made you happy in life. Have you not ever been happy in the past? I bet there's more than one moment where you've truly felt happiness. So who's to say you'll never feel it again in the future? It may not seem like it, but your future is in your control, and yours alone. Therefore, you can be happy - because it's in your control. Suicide is a way out, but it's not the right way out. And besides that, it's a terrible way to end your life. To never know how things could have turned out in the future, or what you've given up. Ending your life is definitely not worth it, when you think of all of the things that are in fact worth living for in life. While I'm not to sure what exactly it is that's causing you to feel this way right now, I'm willing to listen and do whatever I can to make you feel better. I really hope you're doing okay Hang in there. I promise things can only get better. x





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 11:06 AM

Hi Krystianna.

It seems as though you're going through a tough time at the moment. You say that for a "stupid reason" you don't want to live anymore. If the reason is stupid, then why work yourself up about it?

I'm sure that it's not stupid and you have your reasons to feel bad right now, but do you really think that ending your life would be the answer to this? I don't. Things change. You may not want to live now, but tomorrow, next month, or even next year, you may stop and think "Wow, I can't believe I thought that." Things do change as do emotions, you won't feel like this forever.

Things can get better. I know that you say that it's a long story and you're not going to bother, but if you try, maybe you'll find that writing things down or talking about it could help you, even if only slightly, it could feel like a relief to get everything out. :]
   
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 02:43 PM

Thanks to all of you for your advice.

I've been struggling with clinical depression for nearly three years now and it's getting tough. Although I'm tempted to cut or commit suicide, I won't because I love my family and friends far too much. I guess it feels like there's something terribly wrong with me. I have a wonderful life, so why the fuck am I so sad? I don't understand why I hate myself so. I want to be a good person, but I feel like I'm just an awful person already. It feels like I want something bad to happen to me so I can justify my feelings. Really, the only problems I'm having are average teenage problems. Lovesick, low self esteem, grades, lonliness, worthlessness. And all of you are right about life being important and that there is happiness ahead. I know that.... I just get so frusterated sometimes when I can't pull myself out of this intense anxiety and depression. I'm trying to get my meds fixed and talk to my counselor, but I guess it feels like I'll always be clinically depressed.


Lawl.
   
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 04:32 PM

*hugs* I really know just how you feel. Sometimes it does seem like your problems are stupid or minor and that you shouldn't let them bother you, but there is no such thing as a stupid problem. If it's bothering you, then it's important to you, and that's what matters. Don't feel bad that your problem doesn't seem as bad as someone else's, it is just as important and needs to be dealt with just as much. You don't need your feelings to be confirmed or verified by having something bad happen to you. What you're going through now is obviously bothering you a lot, so don't feel bad about that. Just keep trying to work through it.

It's great that you have such great friends and family. I know when I'm feeling down, thinking of them is often what gets me through. Just never forget the immense pain they would be in if they lost you, you really are important to them. And always remember, cutting is not a healthy way to deal with emotions. Taking a walk, talking to someone, drawing, listening to music. Those are all great ways to get things out. Just never feel like you have to hurt yourself, ok?

Things will get better. You won't be like this for the rest of your life, just stay strong and you'll get past this. You're doing really great having made it this far already.

If you ever need to talk about anything, my inbox is always open.


~Cody

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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 19th 2009, 04:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheNumber42 View Post
*hugs* I really know just how you feel. Sometimes it does seem like your problems are stupid or minor and that you shouldn't let them bother you, but there is no such thing as a stupid problem. If it's bothering you, then it's important to you, and that's what matters. Don't feel bad that your problem doesn't seem as bad as someone else's, it is just as important and needs to be dealt with just as much. You don't need your feelings to be confirmed or verified by having something bad happen to you. What you're going through now is obviously bothering you a lot, so don't feel bad about that. Just keep trying to work through it.

It's great that you have such great friends and family. I know when I'm feeling down, thinking of them is often what gets me through. Just never forget the immense pain they would be in if they lost you, you really are important to them. And always remember, cutting is not a healthy way to deal with emotions. Taking a walk, talking to someone, drawing, listening to music. Those are all great ways to get things out. Just never feel like you have to hurt yourself, ok?

Things will get better. You won't be like this for the rest of your life, just stay strong and you'll get past this. You're doing really great having made it this far already.

If you ever need to talk about anything, my inbox is always open.
Thank you, cody I might take you up on that offer.
I'm gonna try and cheer up though
Thanks again
You really helped me a lot


Lawl.
   
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Re: I finally need to speak up about it - May 20th 2009, 02:19 AM

Glad I could help
Just keep trying, you're doing great so far.
I hope you do, I'd love to talk to you
*hugs*


~Cody

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