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Angry Again... i died inside and now im ready to die on the outside too. please hear my rant!!!:( - August 15th 2016, 07:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ive had problems for a long time. why r they still here to haunt me?
yesterday i had a church event thing and everyone had their fun outside. i didnt. i stayed in the sancuary... where its dark and quiet.
i broke that silence with loud guitar playing and belting at the top of my lungs. and then i did gymnastic tricks hoping i wouldnt hurt myself (but secretly wanting to).
i found these ropes and i wanted to use them. i only got three and a half hrs of sleep last night bc of hurting so bad on the inside.

why cant i control myself? why cant i resist crappy food that makes me fat? what about the salty food? the sugary food?

before bed i ran laps around the church just to be safe. nothing can get rid of the feelings i have. it wont drowned in my sweat. why? just why?

An old friend of mine texted me tonight. it made me feel good bc she never ever was the one to start converstations. its 11:07pm right now and i feel like she is going through something too. idk. i guess ill stay around for the conversation but then ill say goodbye. im just done with this life. i wish i could die.
i havent considered it this much before. i have no one to stop me.
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Re: Again... i died inside and now im ready to die on the outside too. please hear my rant!!!:( - August 15th 2016, 08:01 AM

Hey there,

I really hope you won't give up. The problems you're facing are tough, I know, but you can get through them. Opening up to family and friends who can support you 24/7 in real life is usually a good way to start healing and coming to terms with what you're dealing with, and so is trying to figure out why you're feeling this way.

There's no reason to hate your body the way you do, because you're beautiful, even if you don't think so.

From your PMs, I'm very sure you can control yourself, but you do it to a very restricting extent. Your body does need food to survive and starving yourself is not a long term solution to how you're feeling. Have you considered going to a professional counsellor that can help you with what you're going through?

You're a strong girl, and I really hope that you can get through this and keep going.
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Re: Again... i died inside and now im ready to die on the outside too. please hear my rant!!!:( - August 15th 2016, 10:14 AM

Cheyenne NO

I do think that no matter how tough things are, there's a will and there's a way. I get the feeling that there's a lot of self-hate within you, but I'm extremely sure that you're a beautiful person in your own way... and I think that you put too much pressure on yourself to be like a certain way. Best to eat how you want, when you want, wherever you want because there's something that's nice about freedom. And i'm sure that for you, liberating your mind in the first step. There's simply too many things you hate about yourself, and that's never, ever a good thing.

You can count on us, too.. and we'll always be around for you . You can trust us and you can rant to us.

Things will get better, and you got me too. I'm on your side.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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die, died, hear, inside, rant, ready

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