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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Goodbye isn't always easy - September 10th 2016, 08:51 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Well I just feel like right now it's just best to type..so suicide has been on my mind for the last little while and I can't seem to shake the thought that the world would be better off without me seeing as I don't bring anything good to this world. Well the biggest thing is how my family has treated me lately..my dad is all the time telling me he wished I was never born and that I'm worthless and how he wishes he didn't know me. That has really fueled all of this at this point because he's said multiple times if I weren't there then it would make his life a lot better. I'm trying not to let that bother me though. Well normally I would have attempted suicide by now but I've got a friend who says if I go then she does too...this girl is amazing and has a lot to offer this world and it would be sad to see her go even if I'm not here to see it then it would still be a tragedy...at this point I really want to do it but I don't know what to do with her also..I want the voices in my head to stop and I don't want to feel like this anymore...I've got everything ready for when I go..I've got all my notes written and I'm ready to go..I just don't want to be here anymore....life is unbearable and I don't see this getting any better..


"When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin' but you can't hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in your self when you're broken. Little, girl, don't be so blue I know what you're goin' through don't let it beat you up. Hitting walls and getting scars only makes you who you are, only makes you who you are. No matter how much your heart is aching. There is beauty in the breaking, yeah.❤️"-Lindsey Haun
   
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Re: Goodbye isn't always easy - September 10th 2016, 10:53 PM

Hey there girlie. I just wanna say that things will get better. And I'm sure you have just as much to offer as your friend does. I know its tough right now. I know that you don't want to be here. And I understand that. I get that so much. And I know this is gonna sound cliche AF but it gets better. If you kill yourself there's zero chance for it to ever improve. From being in your position before I can say you probably don't want to actually die but you just want things to be better. So why ruin that chance? Pm me ANY time. I'll listen. Stay strong beautiful.


Keep holding on. xXrawrXx
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Re: Goodbye isn't always easy - September 11th 2016, 05:54 PM

Hi there,

I am so sorry that you're going through this. No one, not anyone, deserves to be told that - especially not you. Unfortunately we don't get to choose our family, but do not let someone else's opinion determine your happiness and your life. Your life is worth far much more than that. I know that it is so much easier said than done, but you have to keep that in mind and keep telling yourself that no matter how hard it gets because one of these days you will be out from under his thumb and will make an amazing life for yourself.

You determine your success and happiness - do not let his blurred vision affect that. Everyone has a purpose and you are not worthless. I am really glad that you have a friend who is there for you. I can tell that she greatly cares for you - that means you are not worthless to her in even the slightest bit. Do not throw away friendships like that!

Have you ever talked to a professional about what is going on? You do not deserve to suffer alone, and while it is great that you have a great friend who will support you, she is also not a professional and will not be able to help you in the same way that a professional can. I think it is something you should look into at the very least! I also want to provide you with some hotlines that you can call if the thoughts do get to be too much - no one should suffer alone and I have used some of them myself and have found them very beneficial when I'm struggling. It is always worth a try, right? Here's the list Here.

Please do not give up hope. Your life is worth so much more to others, especially your friend. You have so much ahead of you. Do not let your father determine the direction of your life.

I'm always here if you want to talk as well. My inbox is always open.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: Goodbye isn't always easy - September 11th 2016, 08:33 PM

Your story is heartbreaking Callisto is right! No one should be treated like this! But, suicide is not the answer. When I was younger I was being emotionally abused by my mother ex-boyfriend I often had the same thoughts you are having.... Like I was born to suffer and I took it out on myself for years self-harming in many different ways. Eventually I got help and I realized this was not my fault and that no one should be emotionally abused.

I would suggest that you seek professional help. Life is worth living!

Stay strong and do not hesitate to PM me if you need to talk.


-Jr.


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Re: Goodbye isn't always easy - September 13th 2016, 03:02 PM

I'm new here, this is my first post... I'm not a teen, but a mother of 4 teen girls, and I hope that I can be an encouragement to you somehow. I have lived with my own mental illness since I was a child, and suicide is something that crosses my mind frequently. I can tell you that medications are world-changers for me, but that the amount of time and patience it takes to find the right combinations have in the past made me think there was nothing that could help me and that I was destined to be miserable forever... Please confide in someone who can get you medical help, it DOES help.
I know the frustration and despair of not wanting to be here anymore, seeing no way out, and thinking that people would only be sad for a short time and then move on and be better off if I were to take my life. These feelings and justifications seem so powerful, and they can take over your whole mind, your existence, your sleep.... but I can tell you that they are nothing more than shitty brain signals that can be curbed with the right medications. I never believed it when I was 'down in it', but it is true.
Mental illness and suicidal tendencies run in my family. My cousin died by suicide several years ago, leaving 4 children behind... The devastation to my family and his friends has never gone away, and has never gotten better. I am so sad that he never knew there was hope, help, and a good life ahead with treatment. Please don't hesitate to message me privately and chat. YOU are WORTH more in this world than you can know, please give yourself some time and some rest. Know that getting to tomorrow only requires your participation in today... Xoxoxo
   
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Re: Goodbye isn't always easy - September 18th 2016, 02:36 AM

Thank you everyone for your replies. I meet with a new therapist mindayband hoping things will soon get better because the suicidal thoughts have become worse and more frequent to having them every night.


"When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin' but you can't hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in your self when you're broken. Little, girl, don't be so blue I know what you're goin' through don't let it beat you up. Hitting walls and getting scars only makes you who you are, only makes you who you are. No matter how much your heart is aching. There is beauty in the breaking, yeah.❤️"-Lindsey Haun
   
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