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Name: Brooke
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Location: Queensland Australia

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Im scared for my sister - September 26th 2016, 03:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so life has been quite chaotic along with my own struggles my older sister has been struggling with her mental health and addiction since the start of the year and has been in and out of psychwards after sucide attempts, shes in there at the moment after another attempt, and although she is safer there, our system sucks and i know they will release her soon with no med changes no proper support, straight back to the same stresses and then the cycle starts again she goes missing shes found by bypassers and shes lucky to be alive and im scared im going to lose her, im worried one day she will succeed and its so hard, and im going to england in 2 weeks and im just scared because i will barely be contactable i have to try rely on people i dont fully trust to keep her safe, and i dont know what to do shes considering rehab or supported accomodation so im going to try get her into one of them before i go but thats still no promise shes safe, the hospital cant even fully keep her safe, im just so scared a part of me wants to make her promise that for those 2 weeks im away she doesnt do anything stupid (would this be wrong to do to just say can you please promise me you wont attempt to take your life while im away), i should be excited but im worried something will happen, and if she ends back up in hospital while im gone then that also means she will have no visitors ontop of that and i just dont know what to do, i feel like i should know what to do i went through the same thing but i seem to just be failing like i even should of seen the signs this time but didnt
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Purr Purr Purr.
Jeez, get a life!
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Name: Jessie
Age: 25
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Re: Im scared for my sister - September 26th 2016, 09:05 PM


Thanks for coming to us with your worries. Sounds like a tough situation but what a brilliant sister you are for caring so much.

Let me tell you a few things - my main diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. I struggle with self harm, alcohol, eating disorders, PTSD, depressive episodes, psychotic episodes, OCD tendencies and a few more, but I have attempted suicide many times in the last ten years. I have had fourteen admissions to psychiatric wards (longest being two and half years) and I have a sister who was also diagnosed with BPD later than myself but who has struggled with depression and anorexia for over ten years now. She has been in a psych ward once, about nine years ago.

So my point is, we've been in similar situations to yourself. And all we could both do for each other (if we were well enough ourselves) was to be there and support each other by talking through our problems, worries and what we were feeling and experiencing. I remember sitting on the kitchen floor when I was fifteen with her because she didn't want to eat. So we sat infront of the cuboards for a few hours and decided she was going to have half a tine of soup and that was HUGE progress for us both. We've taken each other to A&E and visited each other in our admissions. But we have to be well to do so.

And another important thing. A person struggling with these things, can only save themselves. People can offer advice and support and love, but it's down to the person to ultimately make the changes and work with the people trying to help them. You could be with your sister 24/7 offering constant support but that does not mean she will stay safe or feel better or get better. She has to work too. And if she doesn't, she won't make the progress you so badly want her to make.

You're going away. I am guessing that is for a holiday. So for now I am going to say its okay to worry about her. I think that is utterly normal. But don't worry to a point where you don't enjoy coming over here to England. If something happens while you are away, it probably would have happened even if you were not away and while you are away, there is nothing you will be able to do anyway. So take these two weeks out for yourself. Enjoy, relax and refresh and then go back in a good state of mind ready to start being there for her again, but remember, she has to help herself too.

I hope this helps in some way. Just know you are never ever alone and we are here for you if you ever need us, okay? We ain't going no where!

Hope and wishes,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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