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Dancer_2016 Offline
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reasons to live - September 30th 2016, 12:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

This was week number 2 of seeing a therapist so 2 sessions with her and one group therapy session. During my session with her a lot was brought up and the main topic of course was suicide. She got worried knowing that suicide was on my mind and that I had a method of choice if I felt like I needed to. She basically made me sign a self care paper saying that I would try all these methods to not harm myself..Well now I feel like there truly is nothing left for me. I've been crying for the last two hours and my whole world is falling apart. Everything is going down hill fast and the one person I truly want to talk to isn't talking to me because I said something stupid when I was mad..Now I can't find any reason to live and I know exactly what to do and I feel like I am ready to do it..I want a reason to live..but maybe there isn't one..maybe there will never be one..I'm sorry to everyone that I hurt by pushing them away..I know sorry isn't enough but that's all I have right now..

"When you're broken in a million little pieces and you're tryin' but you can't hold on anymore. Every tear falls down for a reason. Don't you stop believing in your self when you're broken. Little, girl, don't be so blue I know what you're goin' through don't let it beat you up. Hitting walls and getting scars only makes you who you are, only makes you who you are. No matter how much your heart is aching. There is beauty in the breaking, yeah.❤️"-Lindsey Haun
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Re: reasons to live - October 2nd 2016, 02:58 AM


It's great that you're seeing a professional, that is such a brave and difficult thing to do, but I think it will help a lot in the long run. When you talked with your therapist did you make a safety plan at all? if not, I think it would be a good idea to have one in place when you feel like this. A safety plan can consist of things you can do when you feel suicidal, like phone numbers to call. You can include an emergency contact, a nearby hospital, a hotline, and friends and family who can help you. I'm sorry you feel as though you have no one to call because of a recent conflict. I do not think that should keep you from trying. Call them. Do not let a conflict ruin your relationship with people. If you call and let them know that you are sorry for what happened and let them know that you are feeling really bad, I do not think they would turn you away. Real friends will stick by you, no matter what and will try to help in anyway that they possibly can. And those people are reasons to live for. They are what keeps me going and I really highly recommend trying to find good people in your life that are similar to that. It is so great to have a support system in place.

I kind of get where you're coming with feeling like there are no reasons to live, but I think that's a load of Bologna too. There is always a reason to live. Whether that be to get up and feed your cat or dog in the morning, or to see the new season of your TV show. It can be little things, and it was little things for me at first. And that is 100% okay. Find something and cling to it. Because your life is precious and with time, it does get easier. Do not give up. You are starting on an amazing journey to help yourself and I think if you put the effort in, you can do anything and get through this.

Please do not give up hope. and I am always happy to talk as my inbox is open all the time. Please feel free to send me a message if you ever need someone to talk to. Or you can use the forums or the other numerous resources we have here on TeenHelp. We are always here.

Stay strong!

"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
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Re: reasons to live - October 3rd 2016, 06:53 PM

Hi there

Thanks for coming to us here for some help and support.

I don't know how much of a help I can be but I really wanted to reply back to this due to being in similar situations before. I am sorry you are feeling really low right now that suicide seems like a good option to you. I really want you to know that suicide is not going to help. You have a life a head of you and it can be anything you want it to be so keep fighting for it as hard as things get at times. You deserve to live it and experience the things that you can. Don't allow killing yourself be a good idea. Don't even allow it to be an option. View the only option as getting better, going into recovery and beating this thing. And you can do that. It is possible.

Could you call your counselor for some support at all? I know this might be really hard but if they can offer you support over the phone in between sessions that might be really helpful or maybe you could try and book an appointment in with them sooner rather than later for some help. However, if you get to a point where you really do not feel safe and feel like you may well attempt to take your life, I want to encourage to you go to someone for help. Whether it is coming here to us, going to family, speaking to friends, taking yourself to A&E/ED, calling a crisis team and calling a helpline. Never suffer alone when you feel that way. People are out there to help so allow them to do their jobs okay? And remember they care. They have gone into their career or volunteer work because they want to help people like yourself so never be alone in this situation.

Is anything triggering you to make you feel this way? I do not know if there is something or not but I want you to know that if there is something and you would like to talk to us about it then we are always here for you; we also understand that you will want to say as much you want and go at your own pace and that is okay. It is also okay if you don't want to talk about it all or even okay if there is nothing triggering it. I just wanted you to know you have the space to talk here if you need and want it.

I hope you are doing okay and keeping going. Remember we're always here for you okay? You never have to be silent about what you are going through.

Hope and wishes,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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