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Unhappy No friends, Parents give pointless advice, no patience. - October 28th 2016, 02:46 PM

I live in singapore btw. im 13 and i have absolutely no friends, I lost my best and only friend a couple days ago. he was like arguing with me with everything and probably on purpose proving that he's right and that i'm wrong with everything. when i ask my parents for help, they don't give any useful advice and they don't care if im depressed or anything. i've been kinda depressed for the past month, i have mediocre lonely days at school, and i have sad days at home with parents screaming, beating, etc. my friend gets even worse punishments and he oftens says that I deserve his life more than him. he also says that he is better than me in every way, bigger than me in every way, and stronger than me in every way. which has kind of convinced me that its true. im like super sad and think of suicidal thoughts, but i dont do it. i havent started puberty yet either, so im basically the smallest kid of a medium age in the grade. and also i get bullied a lot. (its an american school) when I say stuff to my parents, they don't realize im depressed and they say useless advice like for me to change, and think that he is perfect and i am pointless and bad completely to motivate me for change, but now i feel i am pointless and bad without motivation. My parents just lose patience eventually, scream at me, and rage at me, sometimes spanking me. im pretty much this tiny nerd computer kid who doesn't know anything. we get school laptops so right now im even locked in my room with my parents trying to get in and typing this. i often feel sad randomly at school, at home, or somewhere, not to the point of crying or erupting but sometimes i cry for like an hour on my bed alone. im lonely and sad and bored, and my parents are annoying.
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Re: No friends, Parents give pointless advice, no patience. - October 28th 2016, 04:18 PM

Hey there!

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I can relate more or less to it. It can and will get better though. Sometimes parents just don't really know what to say or do when it comes to situations like that but that doesn't mean they don't care or love you. I've also lost many friends in my life and although it hurt to lose them, I came to the realization that they most likely weren't true friends, and if they were, sometimes taking a break is a good thing and they came back around. All and all just keep your head up, things will start looking brighter.

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Re: No friends, Parents give pointless advice, no patience. - October 29th 2016, 12:08 AM

Hey there,

So, you need to remember that none of the negative thoughts you are having are true/fact. Depression/depressive thoughts cause people to feel very negatively about themselves. What's difficult is you have people, such as your friends and parents, reinforcing that these thoughts are true. Those people are wrong. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but it was probably a good thing that your friend and you ended the friendship because of the way he was treating you. Your friend should not be telling you that he is better than you in every way. He should be supporting you and encouraging you.

I think that it's difficult to deal with cultural differences at home and then have to go to a school where kids have a different cultural upbringing. That might be some of the reason your parents don't give good advice; their culture is way different than the American culture so they don't get it.

It might help if you joined some clubs at school and maybe got into volunteering or something. Joining clubs and volunteering can look good on college applications and it helps you find people that share the same interests as you.

I hope that this helped and I am wishing you the best of luck.

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