TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

So fed up! - November 2nd 2016, 11:10 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am so fed up, down, alone and broken. Family matters aren't helping my situation. Apparently everything that goes wrong for them is my fault! Don't know what I have done to deserve this. I have done nothing to them. But they say I bring it all on myself. My father's friend betraying me is now my fault in his eyes, I did'nt ask for it to happen nor did I ask my father to keep it a bloody secret.

They accuse me of abusing my own daughter when I would rather die than hurt her. I would literally die for her. I feel like everyone is better off without me. My family just make me feel like I am worthless and that I can't do anything right. I really am broken right now
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,339
Blog Entries: 460
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: So fed up! - November 2nd 2016, 03:21 PM

Michaela,
I want to hug you so tight right now. I'm so sad to hear how your family is treating you. You deserve nothing short of compassion and kindness from your family members. This isn't your fault. What happened to you 9 years ago isn't your fault either. Sounds like youre devastated and overwhelmed and understandably so!


I was reading a book and I came across in the forward section something along the lines of: a crisis is a turning point.
That stuck with me because looking back at the crisises I've experienced, I ended up making a change in my life whether big or small or tiny. It pushed me to say "okay this isn't working, something needs to change" whether consciously thinking that, or just feeling more motivated in the following days.
Thinking back, those were the times I've ended up reaching out for help, it was when I found Teenhelp, it was when I started therapy and it was when I tried new things (for better or for worse, I still got proactive about improving my life)
Something I also learned-well 2 things, 1)with every bad thing that happens, something good comes out of it 2)every time you tell your story you heal a little more
With the first one, I'm not saying it happens "for a reason". I don't find that helpful. But I'm saying that with pain, comes things like appreciation, joy, creative problem solving, resilience. It is like the flower that grows through the walls or sidewalk cracks, a place that is desolate and barren.

It sounds like a lot of things were out of your control. What happened to you, how you were treated, etc but something that IS in your control is your perspective and attitude towards unavoidable pain.
My wish is that you take this as an opportunity. I know it is hard.
And like I said in your blog post, I'm here if you need me. Even if it is just a reminder of things. Or a small chat.

You sound like you care so much about your child. I'm sure she feels it and that's what matters. It is your relationship with your child. It is ironic they're even accusing you of such acts when in reality, they don't seem like such loving or caring people themselves so I can imagine they're not that great towards your daughter either.
(I mean, just by them treating you wrongly, is automatically hurtful towards her but I imagine they're not kind to her either, like they aren't with you)
Is there something you enjoy doing with your kid? Maybe you can plan some time with her and enjoy yourselves, away from your family. Maybe that would help in terms of the people who matter.

Hang in there your fight isn't over
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: So fed up! - November 2nd 2016, 05:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by In-the-way View Post
Michaela,
I want to hug you so tight right now. I'm so sad to hear how your family is treating you. You deserve nothing short of compassion and kindness from your family members. This isn't your fault. What happened to you 9 years ago isn't your fault either. Sounds like youre devastated and overwhelmed and understandably so!


I was reading a book and I came across in the forward section something along the lines of: a crisis is a turning point.
That stuck with me because looking back at the crisises I've experienced, I ended up making a change in my life whether big or small or tiny. It pushed me to say "okay this isn't working, something needs to change" whether consciously thinking that, or just feeling more motivated in the following days.
Thinking back, those were the times I've ended up reaching out for help, it was when I found Teenhelp, it was when I started therapy and it was when I tried new things (for better or for worse, I still got proactive about improving my life)
Something I also learned-well 2 things, 1)with every bad thing that happens, something good comes out of it 2)every time you tell your story you heal a little more
With the first one, I'm not saying it happens "for a reason". I don't find that helpful. But I'm saying that with pain, comes things like appreciation, joy, creative problem solving, resilience. It is like the flower that grows through the walls or sidewalk cracks, a place that is desolate and barren.

It sounds like a lot of things were out of your control. What happened to you, how you were treated, etc but something that IS in your control is your perspective and attitude towards unavoidable pain.
My wish is that you take this as an opportunity. I know it is hard.
And like I said in your blog post, I'm here if you need me. Even if it is just a reminder of things. Or a small chat.

You sound like you care so much about your child. I'm sure she feels it and that's what matters. It is your relationship with your child. It is ironic they're even accusing you of such acts when in reality, they don't seem like such loving or caring people themselves so I can imagine they're not that great towards your daughter either.
(I mean, just by them treating you wrongly, is automatically hurtful towards her but I imagine they're not kind to her either, like they aren't with you)
Is there something you enjoy doing with your kid? Maybe you can plan some time with her and enjoy yourselves, away from your family. Maybe that would help in terms of the people who matter.

Hang in there your fight isn't over
Your advice was amazing, wish I had some friends in real life who could advise me like that in person. So thank you so much for being here for me when my proper friends aren't. I am trying to put things into perspective and I'm not going down without a fight I really need to talk to my parents about things so going to try and do that tonight when my little girl is in bed. I am also starting to think that I would have been better off getting my own place when I found out I was pregnant 3 year ago. Now it's impossible to even afford your own place as a single mum but I am going to try. I feel me and my parents were ups have a better relationship if I wasn't around them all the time. And maybe it would do me a lot of good too. I mean I get made to do the housework all day every day when I am living here. So I don't get to spend a lot of time with my little girl, but if I get my own place then I can do all the housework when she is at play school
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
~Radio Flyer~ Offline
Please call that story back.

I've been here a while
********
 
~Radio Flyer~'s Avatar
 
Name: Violet
Gender: Other
Location: Koolibah tree

Posts: 1,339
Blog Entries: 460
Join Date: May 12th 2016

Re: So fed up! - November 4th 2016, 01:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raggedy Man, Goodnight! View Post
Your advice was amazing, wish I had some friends in real life who could advise me like that in person. So thank you so much for being here for me when my proper friends aren't. I am trying to put things into perspective and I'm not going down without a fight I really need to talk to my parents about things so going to try and do that tonight when my little girl is in bed. I am also starting to think that I would have been better off getting my own place when I found out I was pregnant 3 year ago. Now it's impossible to even afford your own place as a single mum but I am going to try. I feel me and my parents were ups have a better relationship if I wasn't around them all the time. And maybe it would do me a lot of good too. I mean I get made to do the housework all day every day when I am living here. So I don't get to spend a lot of time with my little girl, but if I get my own place then I can do all the housework when she is at play school
I am sorry to hear your proper friends haven't been there for you. I have experienced that before.
It sounds like you have a good idea of your next steps. I do hope talking to your parents help. Let us know what happens!
I am told that moving out would help with adult child and parent relationships. I know a few people who've moved out and have said that. I am currently trying to do the same so I feel you in the struggle. And I can imagine that having a child makes it more difficult in some ways than a single childless adult (me) but I believe in you and having hope that you will get to have your own place.
I am wondering if there is a community center or program that does care coordination and can connect you with a case manager. A case manager is different than a therapist, in that a case manager will find resources for you and perhaps help with goal setting, planning, financial advising, assistance with getting health insurance, job and career help and other social services etc in a more direct and hands on way. Whereas, a therapist would be more about making sense of things, gaining insight and talking about said challenges.

That said, if you're interested and willing and are not already, seeing a therapist or counselor can help with professional emotional support. There may also be a support group or single parents?

I am not sure where you live but here there's a lot of single mothers who join together as a support system. (Would have been neat if single fathers had that support too but they are outnumbered and I guess not really coming together as much)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
TheAtomicBlade Offline
Resident Sith
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
TheAtomicBlade's Avatar
 
Name: Tortellini
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Location: Executor Star Ship

Posts: 950
Join Date: May 7th 2016

Re: So fed up! - November 4th 2016, 03:04 AM

Hey mate,
Sorry to hear what you're going through and that you don't have the support you need. Do you think you could look into government help for single mothers if its possible? Also, government housing might help? I know it wont be the greatest, but at least it'll be a place for you and your daughter.
And I just want to tell you, if you feel like hurting/killing yourself, think of your daughter. She needs her mother. Stay strong, if for no one else, at least for her.
PM me if you would like to chat.


PM me if you ever wanna talk. Send a message my way.
And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

May The Force be With You.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Doctor's Companion
I've been here a while
********
 
Raggedy Man, Goodnight!'s Avatar
 
Name: Michaela
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Durham, United Kingdom

Posts: 1,203
Blog Entries: 53
Join Date: January 20th 2009

Re: So fed up! - November 4th 2016, 09:28 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by aguy View Post
Hey mate,
Sorry to hear what you're going through and that you don't have the support you need. Do you think you could look into government help for single mothers if its possible? Also, government housing might help? I know it wont be the greatest, but at least it'll be a place for you and your daughter.
And I just want to tell you, if you feel like hurting/killing yourself, think of your daughter. She needs her mother. Stay strong, if for no one else, at least for her.
PM me if you would like to chat.
My dad is helping me look for my own place. I really think it will better our father and daughter relationship, he doesn't seem to think I should be moving out, not yet but he said he will support me all the way. They have apologised for the way they have been with me but there is only so much I can take. In a few weeks everything will have gone back the same. But I'm hoping it won't.

I am always strong for my little girl, well I try to be I try my best for her and I always will. Can't believe she is 3 in December, time seems to fly by when you have children.

I really am hoping things will get better between me and my parents, I am going to try and fix everything but it needs to work from both sides, so here is hoping that they work with me through all of this and that all of us will come out fighting at the other side.
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
fed

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.