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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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FrozenRobot7 Offline
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How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - January 25th 2017, 11:35 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

At this point in my life, I would say that I am pretty depressed. I can't say that I've thought about suicide in depth, but it's definitely crossed my mind a few times.

At my school, people say "kill myself" and "kill yourself" very frequently, especially some of my very close friends. I wouldn't feel so weird about it usually, but one of my best friends attempted suicide a few months back, and i took it very hard. On top of all of this, I have been feeling very poorly recently, about just everything, and talking suicide is kind of a subject I'm not exactly okay talking about.

But, when some of my friends talk about "how they would do it", I find myself thinking about it a little too much. Of course they are all kind of joking around, but I find myself legitimately thinking about how I would do it, which of course isn't healthy and is something I need to stop doing.

How do I stop feeling so weird about it? Because I don't want to tell them how I feel, because that would make them feel super bad and uncomfortable, which is most definitely not what I want. But, how do I sort of "tune it out"?

Also, this is the first time I've ever talked about this openly so I feel pretty weird about it
   
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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - January 26th 2017, 12:51 AM

Hi,

Talking about suicide can be a touchy subject for anyone who has ever had thoughts of suicide or suffer with depression. I think it's quite normal for you to be put off by talking about it. I have had my fair share of being uncomfortable when others would joke or talk about it as well.

First though, anyone joking about suicide is not okay. It isn't something that should be joked about at all. It's serious and I think it's okay to inform people that. You might not want to tell your friends or others about how you've been feeling, but I think you can still talk to them about how maybe they shouldn't joke about ways they would do it or talk about suicide in a joking matter.

I have done this with a few of my friends who don't know about my history and I've just said, "Hey guys, I don't really think we should be joking about this, can we please change the subject?" I think that is a good way to ask them to stop politely and move onto a different subject. If you want to go into more detail and say why you don't want to talk about it, because you know someone who has suffered from suicidal thoughts or that it's just a personal thing to you would be okay too.

I hope this helps!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - January 26th 2017, 07:18 AM

My own personal experience is thoughts of suicide are temporary. A day or two, or several, but it eventually goes away.

I've also identified who I can safely tell, and who not to tell. The ones I can tell are people who know all they have to do is acknowledge my current misery and do nothing ; the listening itself is what helps.

(If I was really serious I wouldn't tell anyone, so it's when I don't say anything is when they should worry, which of course creates a conundrum for them.)

Keep hope that you won't have to suffer forever. Thoughts fade, situations change, feelings fluctuate. Also be on the lookout for others who are hurting.

Best wishes.
   
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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - January 26th 2017, 11:17 PM

Hi, Danielle!

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles and your friend's attempt. I can see how this would be very upsetting considering your personal struggles with depression and suicide, as well as having a friend who attempted suicide.

Suicide is serious and it's not okay for people to casually pass around a sentence such as "kill yourself" because they never know who will take it seriously, which could be a large number of people who are struggling in the background; just as you are, and just as your friend was/is. When your friends say that, or someone else I encourage you to clearly remind them their words could have a much more serious impact than they anticipate. And to think before they say things like that.

Lauren's suggestion about asking your friends to change the subject is a good idea. Just kindly ask, and if they don't then it may be a good idea to distance yourself from the conversation such as stating that you have a busy day and have to go. If you're close enough with these friends you could explain why you don't want to go into the topic casually like this because the thoughts can build up, become "normal" and become unhealthy.

I hope you and your friend are doing okay. Wishing you both happiness and safety. Take care and feel free to PM me anytime!
   
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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - January 27th 2017, 02:04 AM

Hi Danielle,

I'm going to put a different point of view into this. I struggled several years with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and attempts. A lot of my friends would talk about suicide with me in the conversation. I used to either excuse myself from the conversation, put music on my headphones, or I would try and change the topic.

Now that I'm older and in recovery I graduated school. I've just been trained in the Emergency Department, and today I heard people screaming "Just let me die", "Kill me", and "I don't want your help". It's hard to hear especially with what's in my past, but I can't do anything about it. I work in that department, I knew what I was coming into when I started training. However, the way I cope with it is that I try not to think about it. I know that's harder said then done, but, you can't let your friends influence how you're feeling.

Try and do whatever you can to distract yourself, if this includes excusing yourself from the conversation then that's what you need to do. I'm sure your friends will understand. You can always tell them that you need to go to the library or use the washroom.

Stay strong,
We're always here for you.
Brittany



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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - February 1st 2017, 10:22 PM

Hi Danielle

Thank you ever so much for getting in touch with us here. I know reaching out can be really hard, especially when you have never spoken about it before, but you have do so well in coming to us! I hope you are very proud of yourself!

I think for a lot of people who have experienced feeling suicidal, looked after someone who has been suicidal, known someone who has attempted suicide or even completed suicide, that conversations around the topic can be very difficult. In all honestly, I have attempted many time, most recently in the last week and I have had family and friends who have attempted suicide and four friends who have completed suicide. I can relate to the feeling of when people say things like "Oh I'm going to kill myself" as a joke but I will never be able to understand how you feel because we feel emotions differently and will always think differently in some way but I can relate and know it can be hard.

I think maybe talking to your friend could be a good idea as long as you talk to them about how you feel in the right way (not by having a go etc). Maybe even just starting with talking to one of you friends for a start would be a good aim. You need to remember your goal is not to make them feel bad but is to have support to help you through this emotionally when you are struggling but even after being with your group of friends because one of them knowing will make them aware that when it does happen it might be negatively affecting you and then they may be able to support you later on after you have all left each other by texting you to check you are okay or by giving you a call to allow you to have a space to talk etc. However, if you do not feel comfortable with talking to any of them know that is okay. You can always talk to us whenever you need the help or contact a helpline. You can also speak to people such as family members, teachers/tutors, a school nurse, a counsellor, a GP/Doctor etc. All these people care about you and will be wanting to help you but they can only do so if they know what is going on for you and that you are struggling.

I realise that you have not posted this thread to ask for help with your emotions or thoughts so I won't go into that right now, however I just wanted you to know that if you do ever want to talk about how you feel, your thoughts or what is going on for you, then we are always here and wanting to help. You never deserve to be in this alone and we will try out best always to help and support you through what ever it is you are going through. Never struggle in the darkness alone. There is always hope, don't be afraid to reach out. You are cared about and very loved.

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


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Re: How do I deal with people talking about suicide? - February 3rd 2017, 10:10 PM

I see death like a big joke death isnt bad its what people make of it


it takes a strong man to deny whats right in front of him and if the truth is undeniable you create your own
   
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