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Elle_94 Offline
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Unhappy I hate my body and it's making me depressed - January 28th 2017, 11:03 AM

Hi guys,

So I've pretty much always had some problems with my body image. But recently I've gained some weight and it's just made everything one billion times worse. I literally cannot look at myself without crumbling and crying anymore. I have short, fat legs, and not only that but the weight gain has caused me to develop big purple stretch marks all over my thighs and on my hips and bum as well. My stomach is big and I have fat arms and cellulite all over my bum and just under it too. It's horrible. I also have spot prone skin which lately has started getting worse. I have big, red spots all over my back and I'm getting them on my boobs too! Im trying to lose weight and so far I've lost [Edited] pounds. But I just hate the way I look. I know losing weight will help with a lot of it but I feel like there's nothing I can do about the spots and stretcg marks and that I'm just always going to be repulsive and disgusting looking no matter what I do. It's gotten to the point that I don't want to go out anymore and I hate having sex with my boyfriend because I just don't want to be seen. I just want to hide away under my bed covers all day. Not only is my body horrible but Im also just a really annoying person, I talk too much and I bore people. I'm really dumb too and even though I'm trying I feel like I'm getting nowhere in life. I have no talents or special gifts. Im not good at art, or sport, or music, or languages or anything. I just hate myself and I don't want to live this life anymore... please tell me there's a way I can make it better.

Last edited by .Brittany.; January 28th 2017 at 04:36 PM. Reason: Please do not post weight or calorie numbers.
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luckiicloverxx Offline
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Re: I hate my body and it's making me depressed - January 28th 2017, 01:19 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and that you feel insecure in this way. I know what it feels like to hate your body, and it's still something that I've struggled with. Exercising, working out and eating healthy are easy ways to help with what you're feeling, not just in terms of actually losing weight, but living a healthy lifestyle contributes a lot to your mood and the way you see things. If you stick at it long enough, you'll find yourself just generally becoming a happier, more confident person, and even if there aren't life-changingly amazing results, you may find that you don't care as much as you did before.
As for the internal qualities you feel insecure about, lots of people don't have special talents - if everyone did, they wouldn't be special talents anymore. There's no need for you to feel like you have to have one, and in fact, many people find their special talents later in life, so there's no rush! I also honestly doubt that you're boring or annoying, and people who may tell you that you are are in fact just insecure about themselves and feel the need to bring down others in order to feel better. You're an amazing person simply for being one, and I'm sure that you're kind and caring, even if you may not think so. Learning to love yourself is the first step to being happy in your own skin. It's hard, I know, but you will be able to achieve it one day!

I hope this helped somewhat and feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!

Kyra xx
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del677 Offline
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Re: I hate my body and it's making me depressed - January 29th 2017, 08:55 AM

Yes there is a way out of this.

I've experienced similar things enough times that I'm now convinced things actually happen the other way around, e.g. I think I'm depressed because my body isn't nice; but it's actually I think my body isn't nice because I'm depressed.

I believe what actually happens is first I get depressed for no reason whatsoever, then my brain searches for a plausible reason why I'm depressed, and I conclude it's because I don't like my body. I'll also conclude I'm not good at anything, the world is a horrible place, yada yada yada, and I'll construct this whole world view to explain why I'm depressed, and then I'll believe it.

Except I was originally depressed for no reason.

I've learned depression is actually a condition of the body. Maybe I didn't eat right, or sleep well last night, or get any exercise, or I haven't been taking my medication. It's a condition of the body (which the brain is a part of), so I go see a doctor, and engage in Eastern treatments such as meditation or yoga.

There are many obese women who are the happiest people I know.

So the way out is to focus on treating the depression itself. Then all those other problems will vanish. You won't change, you'll still be heavy and not good at art and music and sports and languages, but you won't perceive that as being devastatingly awful.

I'm not good at art or music or sports or languages, the only difference is I feel fine so I don't care. (Notice it's not "I don't care so I feel fine." The feeling comes first, the rest follows.)

Best wishes and I hope you feel well soon. (If you still feel bad after several weeks then see a doctor and he'll figure out what's wrong.)
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