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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Oregano Offline
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Name: Delwen
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Unhappy Terrible mindset - February 24th 2017, 02:47 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

It's 1:36am and I just got home from the nightclubs. I went for my friends 19th party and I drank so much that I didn't feel so happy instead I felt so unhappy and sad and I wanted to kill myself in that moment. I've kinda given up on life at the moment bc the jobs that I really wanted turned me down. I'm so so tired of life. My head is pounding and it doesn't bother me, I kinda like the pain.

I honestly don't know what else to do.
I'm lost and alone and my mind is in a terrible place.


breathe. it's just a bad day, not a bad life.
   
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Re: Terrible mindset - February 24th 2017, 05:18 PM

Hi Delwen,

I'm really sorry to hear that you didn't get the job you wanted. I know exactly how hard it is as I have gone through it several times myself. Don't let this get you down though, use it as motivation to find something else that you would really enjoy. When I got a job I wasn't as fond of, I stuck with it for a bit and then when I was there for a bit longer I got more experience and then I found something I liked better. Try and look at the positives instead, again I know how hard it can be. You're not alone.

When I was struggling badly when my Bipolar was untreated, that I would cope strictly with alcohol. Alcohol is considered a depressant, which is why it makes you feel so good at first, until you start sobering up. One of the largest side effects is depression, so when you're coming down you become depressed. It's a vicious cycle and if it continues that's when it becomes a horrible addiction, like it did for me. I recommend next time you go out to the club to limit yourself to one drink, then drink water for the night. Or you can offer to be the designated driver (if you drive) and that way you have an excuse not to drink.

I understand what it's like to have your mind in a terrible place. You've been talking to me and helping me the past couple days since I've been struggling too. You helped me realize that I'm not alone, even if I'm still in denial. Think about it from outside of the box, you told me I'm not alone, because I have you. So, I'm going to turn that around and say that you're not alone because you have me. I care about you, and I'm so glad that we started talking. You are an amazing person and everyone is lucky to have you as a friend. Don't give up, things will get better, trust me. I've been rock bottom a couple times, but when you're rock bottom, there's only one way to go. Up.

You can get through this Del, I have faith in you. You're stronger than you think you are. You also know where to find me. I know we're in different time zones, but there's times when we are both around at the same time.

Stay Strong,
Brittany <3



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Re: Terrible mindset - February 25th 2017, 12:37 AM

Hi, Delwen!

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way and that you were turned down for a job you really wanted. I can understand how that'd be extremely upsetting and discouraging. Are there any other jobs you know of, or anyone you personally know who works somewhere that is hiring? Perhaps they could put in a good word for you. In the meantime, you could still continue to call the place you wish to work at and continue asking if there are any openings, if your application is still in the system etc. That way they'll be well aware that you're still interested and have remained interested if they suddenly get an opening.

Being turned down for a job, especially one you really wanted is understandably discouraging. I just want to reassure you that being turned down for this job doesn't say anything about your potential or worth, okay? You're worth it, and you are capable with a lot of potential. Any place would be lucky to have you as an employee. In the meantime, it may be a good idea to put in applications in other places and focus on yourself for a little while, you know? Your emotional health is very important too.

How about spending time with friends and family in environments without alcohol? As Brittany said, alcohol is a depressant. While it might feel like it is helping your mood at first, it will bring you down and the process may become addictive. When you are drunk your judgement is affected too, which is obvious. I'm just worried about you but I understand this was a birthday party and not an everyday occurrence. If you do find yourself having drank too much in the future, can you go to a friend or close family to ensure you're safe and watched after?

Would it help to write down a list of goals? Writing down your goals and what you'd like to accomplish, as well as places you'd like to see and things you'd like to do. Even small goals; if you envision it, you can do it even if it takes time and a few setbacks. Reminding yourself of what you are fighting for and what you want to accomplish on your journey may encourage you to hold on. Then again, make sure you don't overwhelm yourself because while it is good to know what you want in your life and create a path to what you're working for, it is good to take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.

Things seem really hard for you and I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time, but I want to reassure you everything will be okay. The way you're feeling right now, and the way things are going won't always be this way. But I know it doesn't make what you're feeling any easier. Don't hesitate to let those in your life in and open up about how you're feeling. You shouldn't face these feelings alone - you deserve support.

Anytime you're having lots of difficult feelings and thoughts, and feel lost and alone, you can always reach out to us. You can reach out to me. I never mind listening one bit so my inbox is always open to you, okay? Take care and stay safe. God loves you and knows you can get through anything, and so do we. <3
   
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