TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TC123 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
TC123's Avatar
 
Age: 18

Posts: 16
Join Date: October 12th 2016

Friend moving on, in a bad place - March 1st 2017, 05:55 PM

So recently I've been feeling very stressed and depressed and I have trouble sleeping at night due to anxiety attacks. Im 16 and I constantly think about my plans and what I should be doing and I overthink my future. Thinking about the future scares me, but I know I have to do it eventually and I'm getting to the age where it's very important. My family tells me I'm very mature for my age because I constantly try to make sure everyone in my family is okay and run my mind crazy trying to get everything done, and that I should just be a kid for once. But I don't know how to be a kid, it just doesn't seem like something I could do, if that even makes sense. I've always felt displaced in school and social events and I think it might have to do with my upbringing and childhood, when my family life and house and situation at school was very stressful and dark. I'm homeschooled online, and I don't have any friends, except for my one best friend. But lately she's been avoiding and ignoring me and I texted her today telling her that I understand if she had a lot going on, but that if it is me causing her to ignore me I'd like to know. She explained that it's not me at all, and she will be moving out soon (she's almost 18 and has difficulty living with her family) and getting into doing business to start learning a career and hopes that by next December she can start moving on. I think this will strain or even break our friendship, which started five years ago. I know people have to move on, but I'm always stuck in the same place even when I try I accomplish thing. Right now I've been getting in shape, I've started learning to drive (to get my permit anyway) and I've been preparing for my SAT test day. I don't have many interests or skills, the only thing I do is hunting/fishing/archery which isn't always possible because if the seasons you are allowed to hunt and my dad is usually working and I go with him. That's the only time I feel myself honestly. I've tried everything to move on and I still feel trapped. It might just be my age, as 16 is an in between age where everything changes slowly into adulthood.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
danh19 Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
danh19's Avatar
 
Name: daniel
Gender: Male
Location: england

Posts: 58
Join Date: March 2nd 2017

Re: Friend moving on, in a bad place - March 2nd 2017, 08:27 PM

how long have you been feeling depressed if it is more than a few months it might be worth speaking to your doctor
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Thinking Offline
Think, and solve problems!!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Thinking's Avatar
 
Name: Ivan
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Teenhelp

Posts: 343
Blog Entries: 67
Join Date: February 19th 2017

Re: Friend moving on, in a bad place - March 3rd 2017, 03:08 PM

You are exactly in the same situation I really had, and this is my real major problem in my life too. Not telling here what caused me all these though But rememeber that you can always PM me with your problems. I really undersand what you are feeling.

>> I have trouble sleeping at night due to anxiety attacks.

- I dont have anxiety attacks, but I had fear of sleeping in the dark in my room alone. I just felt like there is a ghost watching me and it scares me. Eventually I always had to open my room's door and actually get to hear the sound of the living room to get sleep. It doesnt occur to me everyday but I would say quite often.

I don't know whther this will work for you or not, but perhaps you can try to sleep with door open? At least you will not feel "strangled" in a closed small room, and I know how scary it feels especially if you are claustrophobic. Another option is to have a dim light on while you sleep. You can always cover the intense light with a cloth to soften it and make your room dimmer. Hopefully you will feel less afraid this way.

>> Thinking about the future scares me, but I know I have to do it eventually and I'm getting to the age where it's very important.

- Can't explain any better with my sitaution as well! But I want to tell you that its very matured of you to think of your future. Nothing is wrong with this, and it makes you a very very respectable person. Maybe you are in a hard situation that forces, or in some sense trains you to think this way, but whatever it is, its very amazing.

And you are right, you are going to face them not long in future, so thinking of them now will definitely helps. But I also suggest you to not overthink it, not by just think less about it, but by trying to put some effort acomplishing it. If you think its impossible to do it now, then think harder what you can do for now to make yourself closer to what you need to acheive.

I also overthought my future uncountbly many times, and even now I still do. I can't help myself from this and the fear. But I really hope you dont follow me this way because its very painful, and the thoughts of fearing the future really broke my whole day with depression and fear. I really dont want you to have that.

>> My family tells me I'm very mature for my age because I constantly try to make sure everyone in my family is okay and run my mind crazy trying to get everything done, and that I should just be a kid for once. But I don't know how to be a kid, it just doesn't seem like something I could do, if that even makes sense.

- Yes, I agree with this. Being matured is good, and please dont think that you had to force youself being a kid again. You are a very good person who loves your family, and want the best for your family. Be an "adult" teen is something very amazing and definitely rare to see from others of your age.

>> I've always felt displaced in school and social events and I think it might have to do with my upbringing and childhood, when my family life and house and situation at school was very stressful and dark.

- Iam very sorry to hear this. I know how hard you must have felt to feel like you had nowhere to hide, like you had no one to lean on and rant everything. It's hard. You cant feel good outside, not inside. Its very hard. But now you are here, and I want to tell you that even its online, the people here will try their best to help you as much as they can. I personally really understand how hard you are having, and I will try to help you too. You can always tell me what happened through PM and I am willing to listen and help you.

>> I'm homeschooled online, and I don't have any friends, except for my one best friend.

- Good to hear that you have a best friend. I am sorry to hear that she is avoiding you because of her own personal problems. You might feel sad and think that she is bearking the friendship, but had you ever thought of why she tells you the truth? She trusts you and want you to know exactly what happened to her and why she is avoiding you. She doesn't have to say all these at all if she doesnt care about your feelings anymore, but she did, and that means you shouldn't give up the friendship!

In fact as a good friend of her, she deserve your blessing and support that she is on the way her own life path. She clearly never wants to avoid you, its just probably its time to be apart. Both of you can always stay in contact via long distance, and that's not going to make your wounderful friendship to be broken or even lessen!

>> Right now I've been getting in shape, I've started learning to drive (to get my permit anyway) and I've been preparing for my SAT test day.

- Good to hear these, and good luck on the driving and SAT exams!

>> I don't have many interests or skills, the only thing I do is hunting/fishing/archery which isn't always possible because if the seasons you are allowed to hunt and my dad is usually working and I go with him.

- Make good use of these wonderful times with your father. They might seemed ordinary but they will be with your heart forever and I am sure you will feel good about it. I hope you can let go of your past memories, and appreciate the nice moments you had right now. Its cruel to say this, but nice moments dont always last. But they last in your heart forever if you appreciate it!


I hope you can find happiness in your life when you are able to. I can sort of imagine what you are going through exactly and I want to tell you to appreciate every day you have, and count every good day as a good day because they are your nice memories which you deserve to have. I wish you a happy future.

Best Regards,
Ivan


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
  Send a message via Skype™ to Thinking 
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
TC123 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
TC123's Avatar
 
Age: 18

Posts: 16
Join Date: October 12th 2016

Re: Friend moving on, in a bad place - March 4th 2017, 11:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ivan09220114 View Post
You are exactly in the same situation I really had, and this is my real major problem in my life too. Not telling here what caused me all these though But rememeber that you can always PM me with your problems. I really undersand what you are feeling.

>> I have trouble sleeping at night due to anxiety attacks.

- I dont have anxiety attacks, but I had fear of sleeping in the dark in my room alone. I just felt like there is a ghost watching me and it scares me. Eventually I always had to open my room's door and actually get to hear the sound of the living room to get sleep. It doesnt occur to me everyday but I would say quite often.

I don't know whther this will work for you or not, but perhaps you can try to sleep with door open? At least you will not feel "strangled" in a closed small room, and I know how scary it feels especially if you are claustrophobic. Another option is to have a dim light on while you sleep. You can always cover the intense light with a cloth to soften it and make your room dimmer. Hopefully you will feel less afraid this way.

>> Thinking about the future scares me, but I know I have to do it eventually and I'm getting to the age where it's very important.

- Can't explain any better with my sitaution as well! But I want to tell you that its very matured of you to think of your future. Nothing is wrong with this, and it makes you a very very respectable person. Maybe you are in a hard situation that forces, or in some sense trains you to think this way, but whatever it is, its very amazing.

And you are right, you are going to face them not long in future, so thinking of them now will definitely helps. But I also suggest you to not overthink it, not by just think less about it, but by trying to put some effort acomplishing it. If you think its impossible to do it now, then think harder what you can do for now to make yourself closer to what you need to acheive.

I also overthought my future uncountbly many times, and even now I still do. I can't help myself from this and the fear. But I really hope you dont follow me this way because its very painful, and the thoughts of fearing the future really broke my whole day with depression and fear. I really dont want you to have that.

>> My family tells me I'm very mature for my age because I constantly try to make sure everyone in my family is okay and run my mind crazy trying to get everything done, and that I should just be a kid for once. But I don't know how to be a kid, it just doesn't seem like something I could do, if that even makes sense.

- Yes, I agree with this. Being matured is good, and please dont think that you had to force youself being a kid again. You are a very good person who loves your family, and want the best for your family. Be an "adult" teen is something very amazing and definitely rare to see from others of your age.

>> I've always felt displaced in school and social events and I think it might have to do with my upbringing and childhood, when my family life and house and situation at school was very stressful and dark.

- Iam very sorry to hear this. I know how hard you must have felt to feel like you had nowhere to hide, like you had no one to lean on and rant everything. It's hard. You cant feel good outside, not inside. Its very hard. But now you are here, and I want to tell you that even its online, the people here will try their best to help you as much as they can. I personally really understand how hard you are having, and I will try to help you too. You can always tell me what happened through PM and I am willing to listen and help you.

>> I'm homeschooled online, and I don't have any friends, except for my one best friend.

- Good to hear that you have a best friend. I am sorry to hear that she is avoiding you because of her own personal problems. You might feel sad and think that she is bearking the friendship, but had you ever thought of why she tells you the truth? She trusts you and want you to know exactly what happened to her and why she is avoiding you. She doesn't have to say all these at all if she doesnt care about your feelings anymore, but she did, and that means you shouldn't give up the friendship!

In fact as a good friend of her, she deserve your blessing and support that she is on the way her own life path. She clearly never wants to avoid you, its just probably its time to be apart. Both of you can always stay in contact via long distance, and that's not going to make your wounderful friendship to be broken or even lessen!

>> Right now I've been getting in shape, I've started learning to drive (to get my permit anyway) and I've been preparing for my SAT test day.

- Good to hear these, and good luck on the driving and SAT exams!

>> I don't have many interests or skills, the only thing I do is hunting/fishing/archery which isn't always possible because if the seasons you are allowed to hunt and my dad is usually working and I go with him.

- Make good use of these wonderful times with your father. They might seemed ordinary but they will be with your heart forever and I am sure you will feel good about it. I hope you can let go of your past memories, and appreciate the nice moments you had right now. Its cruel to say this, but nice moments dont always last. But they last in your heart forever if you appreciate it!


I hope you can find happiness in your life when you are able to. I can sort of imagine what you are going through exactly and I want to tell you to appreciate every day you have, and count every good day as a good day because they are your nice memories which you deserve to have. I wish you a happy future.

Best Regards,
Ivan
Thank you so much. Honestly you're amazing for taking the time to post all of this just to help out. I try to help people but sometimes I'm aloof and selfish even if I don't mean it. There's very few people like you and I really appreciate you taking time to help out. If you ever want to talk too, I'm not very good at saying things and talking, but I'll definitely listen and try my best to help out.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Thinking Offline
Think, and solve problems!!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Thinking's Avatar
 
Name: Ivan
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Teenhelp

Posts: 343
Blog Entries: 67
Join Date: February 19th 2017

Re: Friend moving on, in a bad place - March 5th 2017, 01:50 AM

Hey! don't ever say that

Just by saying what you posted above means a lot about you as a very kind person. You are definitely not selfish. You might have difficulties in expressing what you want to say but the intention of helping itself is golden. Always try a small steps at a time, and try your best to overcome the fear, and you will do it one day. And it will be your turn to help others, and it definitely makes you feel very good

And I can really relate what you going through with mine, so its very natural for me to tell you what I feel and what I hoped I wouldn't have done and all my regrets. Never thought that it will help this much


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
  Send a message via Skype™ to Thinking 
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
bad, friend, moving, place

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.