TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Thinking Offline
Think, and solve problems!!
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Thinking's Avatar
 
Name: Ivan
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Teenhelp

Posts: 343
Blog Entries: 67
Join Date: February 19th 2017

I try. again. - April 13th 2017, 09:04 AM

Its okay. Its okay. Its always okay.

I will not forget the person with a wheelchair smilling today. He is definitely not a disabled person. He had a special place to me for lighten my room again. Its not empty anymore. He is a stranger. But it doesnt matter.

Even after that I try to reactivate again and write to my friend again, and they say unbelieveable things again, its okay.

I learnt one very important lesson. People who can be trusted are rare. Also, they are evil, I am not. At least in this senario. I had said nothing bad to them. I had done nothing wrong. When he gone through what he calls depression for months, not a single day I gave up on him. But roles swapped...

Anyway, I am the only person who can help myself. I am very sure about that now. I know myself the best. So I will help myself.

They dont stand a place in my heart to hurt me anymore. I dont trust them. So I am not going to be hurt be this.

Life can be better with only myself. Maybe I dont have to be gone after they are gone. I can survive with only myself. Maybe I am not a bad person. Idk. It has been wired this way for many years but I think I can try to unwire it, for the first time after so long. I try.

But I will not give up. I had no choice. I have to be there for them. But I really dont know what to do when they are gone. I just have to try...

And one more thing. This marks the end of the stupid thoughts from them. I dont choose to be sad. I dont create sadness out of nowhere. I have my problems, no matter how big or small I have the right to be sad. I had been trying. And if I could have chosen I would have chosen happiness. I dont simply get happy by miracle, I fight very hard for it. Its not because I am not depressed that I can pop out suddenly to be happy. I dont tell people it doesnt mean I never struggled. In fact I never really get out of it, I only get out of darkness 6 years ago, but not depression. I am not weak. I am not evil.

No more distorted thoughts! I must stop the stupid things they told me since 2.5 weeks ago. They are small matters from unrelevant people, and its just for a while. Officially done with the distorted thoughts, that's it.

I have something with a lifetime to care about. To unwire death from my brain.



Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.

Last edited by Thinking; April 13th 2017 at 09:25 AM.
  Send a message via Skype™ to Thinking 
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
.Brittany. Offline
AKA Reckless Emotion

TeenHelp Addict
************
 
.Brittany.'s Avatar
 
Name: Brittany
Gender: Female
Location: 100 Acre Woods

Posts: 7,918
Blog Entries: 207
Join Date: January 12th 2009

Re: I try. again. - April 14th 2017, 05:21 PM

Hi Ivan,

I'm glad that you're finally realizing that you don't choose to be sad, as I've mentioned before, no one chooses to be sad. If it was that easy, wouldn't we be able to choose to be happy too? Honestly, I wish we could choose to be happy.

I hope that this is the beginning of your uphill climb from when you were feeling so down.

Stay Strong,
Brittany



“You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.”


HelpLINK Mentor | Live Help Mentor | Article Editor
Forum & Chat Moderator
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PiraPurple Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
PiraPurple's Avatar
 

Posts: 12
Join Date: April 17th 2017

Re: I try. again. - April 17th 2017, 08:24 AM

Hello Ivan,

Your last 2 lines were indeed worth smiling - "I have something with a lifetime to care about. To unwire death from my brain.". Yes it isnt easy to cope and to struggle from distorted thoughts but the determination and your changed mindset of choosing not to be sad is a big leap of a new beginning. And yes trusted family, friends and persons are indeed a good support system.

Stay strong!
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.