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My medication is making it worse
Since I've reached out to my family and gotten medication for my depression everything has gotten much worse. On Wednesday, I wasnt in a good place. At all. I was done with life and tried to cut my wrist. Since, suicide has been in the back of my mind, but last night, I broke down again. If I wasn't at a sleepover I would've tried to kill myself again. I'm scaring my mom and my sister just thinks I'm being dramatic and just looking for attention. Now she's angry at me because my mom locked away any knives or scissors. I regret telling anyone anything. Everyone would've been much happier if I had just kept it between me and my friend.
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Re: My medication is making it worse
I know it feels like it would have been better to keep it between us, but that wouldnt have helped in the long run. Its good that your mom has locked away sharp objects. And it could be the medication making it worse, or just your depression getting worse. About your sister, fuck her. She can suck it up. Love you Chris ❤️❤️
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Re: My medication is making it worse
Thank you for reaching out.
I understand because I've been there. Other people don't understand if they've had no experience with it. They try and make sense of it, and they may come up with absurd explanations, like your "just" being dramatic and "just" seeking attention. Not very helpful I know. Sister and parents should be told it's a medical condition (which I know doesn't make sense at first, but I've been there myself, and I came out the other side, and I looked back and said, "You mean all this time it was just a medical condition?" It only makes sense afterwards. I'm glad your parents are at least worried about you. You can help them by telling them what helps you, and what doesn't help you, and what they can do to help, and if anything they are doing is unhelpful, you can give them feedback on that too. When you're in the worst of it as you are now, there's a very slim but real chance you could die, which is very scary for other people. A death like this can tear a family apart and destroy them with grief. You may think they don't care, but they do. When a child tragically dies, the whole family can be torn with grief for years. The good news is once you find the right medication you'll know it and you'll slowly start feeling better and better and over time you'll eventually be cured and able to live a normal pain free life. The first medication you try might not work. Give your doctor feedback, and keep trying different medications until you find the one that works for you. If the medication has a bad side effect, or makes you feel worse, tell your doctor so he can switch you to a different medication. (I've tried just about all of them. Sometimes I'd try one and I'd know within a few days that this med is a disaster for me. One med was like drinking 20 cups of coffee. another med knocked me out so I just slept all the time and couldn't get up. Those ones I just stopped taking after a few days and called my doctor. Other meds I'd try for 6 weeks and didn't feel any better. We just kept on trying different meds until I found the right one. That was quite a major turning point for me, and after a year of being on the med that works for me I'm fine now. So there's real hope that you won't have to suffer like this your whole life. Hang in there! Keep writing here and let us know how you are doing. Best wishes! |
Re: My medication is making it worse
I assume ur taking antidepressants. Likely an ssri, which has the possible side effect of suicidal ideation. I would reccomend immediately taking urself off the meds and going to the doctor. You should also speak with your parents about this as well. Perhaps ur dose needs to be adjusted or else ur meds need to b changed. Good luck.
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Re: My medication is making it worse
That should definitely be something to talk about with your doctor and honestly if you sister isn't being supportive you should tell her it hurts you and that you aren't over reacting and maybe explain depressed in medical stand point like saying that depression is a chemical in balance in your brain that may help I'd recommend having your mother there as well of course if you're comfortable with that if you're not then don't
And right now I know it seems really bad that you came out and told everyone but in a few years I guarantee you're not going to regret it one bit and also this may not be the right medication for you that's another thing to talk to your doctor about! Now another thing getting over this stuff is very hard like very very hard but it starts with you! So if let's say you like watching... Uh the walking dead and that helps keep your mind off of bad thought such as suicide and self-harm then start doing that more often if hanging out with people helps then do that more! I personally like drawing when I feel like that I believe you can do this! |
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