Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Chaotic_ Offline
Average Joe
Chaotic_'s Avatar
Name: Cass
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 119
Join Date: November 26th 2016

I don't want to do this anymore. - December 16th 2017, 05:04 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My brain won't shut up ever.
It keeps telling me I shouldn't bother, why are you trying, it doesn't matter, you don't matter and it's just sooooo exhausting.

I know that none of these are true but they feel true and it really hurts.
I want to say that I'm stuck in my "casually suicidal" like I think about it and what it would be like, but it's not like I'm planning it. I also think what would happen if something were to accidentally happen. It's not like I truly want to die, I just want these thoughts to go away.

I've been seeing a counselor and he knows that I have these thoughts every now and again. It's just always hard to bring them up when they're happening due to a bad experience with the counselor I had prior to the counselor I'm currently seeing now. My current counselor have never mentioned hospitalization (which I'm so thankful for) but the one I had before him constantly through over my head for things as simple as cutting. So it's been really hard to talk to my current counselor about it even though he's proven to me that he's a trustworthy person.

I'm just always scared the more detailed I get the bigger the chances are he could do something like my previous counselor. And like I said I don't want to die, I just struggle with intrusive thoughts of "why does your life matter." and it's getting exhausting not sharing these thoughts with anyone else.

Plus I have a bunch of people in my life who are pulling me in all directions. Consistently needing my help, to vent, to hang out, to do something.
And I'm over here drowning but piling more of there stuff one me because I don't want them to suffer through what they're going through alone and I don't want to be a bad friend and cancel on my friends, even if it puts me at risk of not getting what I need from life.

It's all just a hot mess right now.
I have one more counseling appointment before Christmas and then I have to wait two weeks to see him again (I go once a week) and that kind of scares me as well. Because he's been my safety point, I can make it a week as long as I have somewhere safe to check in. I'm not going to have that over Christmas and that worries me.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Mynesseduplife Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
Mynesseduplife's Avatar
Gender: Female

Posts: 11
Join Date: December 14th 2017

Smile Re: I don't want to do this anymore. - December 16th 2017, 05:24 PM

I recognize you from a few other threads and from what I've read you give great advice and you're very supportive.
I think just as you take time to help people and your friends, you should take some time to focus on yourself... because your mental and emotional health is just as important as any other person.
I am a person who can relate to what you feel and the best advice that I can give is to cling to thoughts of people and things that you love whenever suicidal thoughts cross your mind think about all the people that love you and how sad and hurt they would feel if you happened to die.
Always remember their are people that love you and care about you, and that you have a great purpose in life and you make great difference in the lives of many, here on TeenHelp

pm me whenever you feel like talking
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
I've been here a while
Green Yoshi's Avatar
Name: carwithnogas
Gender: Male
Location: Cute Dinosaur Island!

Posts: 1,870
Blog Entries: 18
Join Date: January 13th 2011

Re: I don't want to do this anymore. - December 17th 2017, 06:45 AM


I do think that your life does matter... but I also think that there are certain events in your life or some past pain or loss of meaning (Same thing as what I am going through right now.. ever since I lost my best friend ) . But you have to know that your life is important. You can question your existence, but you can never question the fact that you're important, precious and loving.

Rather than thinking about life and what does yours mean, perhaps you can think of it as "I can be whoever I want to be,and I'll achieve whatever I want to achieve."That might help.

Also, feel free to take a break off those people who want your help.Sure.. it's good to help people. But when you're overloaded, you need some time to yourself to relax and calm down too.

Hope this helped.You deserve happiness.. an infinite amount of it.

Much kindness and warmth,

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.