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It is probably stupid to feel down about this - May 11th 2018, 03:49 AM

[SIZE="a"].....but I gave a family member that I can't trust but he needed it, 200 dollars. I'm also trying desperately to move out. I feel like I just ruined my chances. Sorry that I barely explain things when I go anonymous. I just needed to make this confession to someone. I need to move out so badly for my mental health but then I gave money when I'm barely making the financial cut.

Why do I find myself fighting for others at my own expense? When will I fight for myself as hard as I have been doing for others? I feel like in terms of recovery I've done a lot but those moments I really need to not mess things up for myself I do something huge like give an untrustworthy person money.

I'm scared to keep going through life. I'm terrified. And I'm not sure I even want to[/size]
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Re: It is probably stupid to feel down about this - May 11th 2018, 09:25 PM

Thank you so much for coming on and telling us about this and asking for help with this also. You have done a wonderful job asking for help and also telling us about this. I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this and I hope you will be okay soon. When I read you're post to us, after getting that you are having a hard time, I also got that you are a wonderful person, because you are willing to help out other people even when you need the money to move out or something. You want to help others, and nothing is wrong with helping others. You just have to know when you also need the money too or to be able to help yourself also. And to be taken care of. So just because someone asks you for money next time and you do not want to give it to them, does not make you a bad person. You are thinking about yourself also and you need things too. Everyone needs something. Can you try talking with someone about what is going on a school counselor or a teacher? Or do you have any family members are relatives that you are able to turn to and have them help you out or can you try talking with you're friends and talking to them and see if they can help you out. I hope that you will be okay soon.

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Re: It is probably stupid to feel down about this - May 12th 2018, 12:59 AM

Hi there! I agree with Golfing girl that you should talk to someone that you think you'll be able to trust to help you through this matter. It could be someone from school, or one of your friends or coworkers or maybe even another relative. I would basically talk to them and ask them if they could give you advice. I hope this is able to help you in some extent.
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Re: It is probably stupid to feel down about this - May 13th 2018, 03:31 AM

[SIZE="a"]Thank you for getting back to me. I don't go to school. I dont exactly have any coworkers due to the nature of my job.

I am planning to speak to a counselor about it on Monday. I'm not sure how much I'll actually get any words out, but...I guess the fact that I have an appointment helps.

Been feeling really depressed lately and this incident really got me down. Yesterday I almost relapsed in some of the self harm I stopped doing for like over a month.[/size]
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Re: It is probably stupid to feel down about this - May 13th 2018, 11:43 PM

Hey there,

I think sometimes it is easier for us to help others than it is to help ourselves. I struggle with similar things because I want others to be okay and be happy. However, this sometimes comes at my own expense. I think that it can be difficult to set boundaries but I think talking to your counselor will help you work on how to set those boundaries. A counselor might also be able to help hold you accountable.

I know you are uncertain how to talk about this but you could read this to the counselor to help you get it out. I used to bring my journal or blog posts to therapy when discussing difficult things. It helped me get it out without having to figure out the best way to express it.

Wishing you the best!

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