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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Adele101 Offline
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What is this life - October 19th 2018, 03:44 PM

Hello,
So, just as I'd been feeling a tiny bit better (as in not feeling like i want to kill myself 24/7), things go down hill again.
I'm out of the house most of the week. Uni 4 days a week and then work on the weekend. I barely get a chance to take a breath. The little time I am in the house, me and my mum can't peacefully co-exist. Literally, our relationship switches from sweet to sour in two seconds, every two seconds. When it's sweet, we're closer than ever, when it's sour, we get at each other's throats. I don't know how much longer I can bare this. I don't want to be with my family anymore (if they found out they'd be insanely heartbroken and angry). I can't get two minutes rest without fighting with someone. It's so emotionally draining. I can't do this anymore. I just want to die. My parents don't understand me. They don't understand anything. And I don't think they even don't want to.
Nothing helps me cope with all this trash. Self-harming hasn't been much of a help in the past. I'm in a writing slump, and also a reading slump. I literally feel like suffocating. I'm so utterly drained. Like every ounce of my strength and willpower is gone. What do I do? What do I do with this Godawful and useless existence? Moving out is not an option at all, so please don't suggest it. I've also tried online counselling, but idk, it was just helpful to talk about my issues. It didn't help remove any of this dumbness.
I'm also beginning to think that I'm simply insane. Like, not even depressed or anything. Just insane.
Thank you all for reading this dumb rant, lol as you can see, even if I'm a year older, my brain hasn't progressed.


Keep calm and carry on.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: What is this life - October 26th 2018, 07:43 PM

Your're not insane. No matter how 'crazy' you may feel. It's also not a dumb rant. I hope that it helped a bit getting things off your chest.

When we get older, we do desire more space from our parents, and this can be worsened if we have a difficult relationship with them. It's good that you are keeping busy, but I understand how difficult it must be to spend time at home, especially with your mum.

Is there a way you can try to minimize the fighting? Depending on what the cause is, you could try noticing when things are starting to escalate and say that you'll talk later things are calmer and leave the situation. Or you can try compromising on things.

You might also want to try counselling again to see if there are other ways of dealing with fights and miscommunication. You can't change other people's behaviours but you can try to deal with how you react.

I'm sorry to hear that moving out isn't an option. It can really help to gain some distance and put things into perspective. But perhaps you can hold onto the hope that you will move out one day? Brighter days are ahead, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Hang in there


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Re: What is this life - November 8th 2018, 02:17 PM

I think it's worth taking the situation into your own hands, you will succeed and it will pass. Maybe you should talk to your family and speak out to each other, find out what concerns you and look for a solution together, together.
   
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Re: What is this life - November 10th 2018, 01:30 PM

Everything will be good buddy, calm down. Take yourself in hand. Still getting better.
   
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Re: What is this life - November 10th 2018, 01:35 PM

You're not crazy, all is well.
   
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Frnasanto Offline
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Re: What is this life - November 11th 2018, 04:20 PM

Find some occupation that will distract you from all this and you will catch relaxation, this will help you. Do not think about the bad, I believe in you.
   
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lourent Offline
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Re: What is this life - November 11th 2018, 05:41 PM

sometimes i think nobody can replay on this question
   
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