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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Was triggered heavily today. - May 23rd 2020, 10:08 AM

Latest update I've been doing well until this week happened. I got falsely accused of destroying someone's seatbelt on a lyft ride so they are charging me a fine for it. No chance to fight it back because they're on the driver's side. That's not even where it fully triggers my depression and suicidal thoughts. It was a pain in the ass and something out of my control. What happened today really triggered me. I heard a huge boom in front of my window today thinking it was nothing to find out someone died on my driveway by shooting themselves. It's the most graphic thing ive seen in my life and it's still in my mind. How do I handle something traumatic?

"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
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The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Was triggered heavily today. - May 24th 2020, 06:08 AM

Hi Mary,

I am so sorry to hear what you are currently going through at the moment. I can't even imagine to begin how you are feeling or what you are experiencing. Could you talk to Lyft and ask them if they have any physical evidence such as dash cam recordings that it actually was you? If they don't have any proof that it was you destroying the seat belt, they can't do anything.

In regards to what happened on your driveway, that would be enough to traumatise anyone. Is there anyone that you could talk to just a family member or friend? Because of what you saw, sometimes it can help to talk about what you saw as it is difficult to deal with these sort of things on your own. Just remember, I'm always here for you as well and I'm only a message away, just like the rest of Teenhelp.

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Re: Was triggered heavily today. - May 25th 2020, 02:01 AM

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for sharing this with us here on TeenHelp. I'm sorry that it's been a really rough week for you; I'll do my best to help here.

It is indeed annoying about the seatbelt incident, but like you said - there are just some things that we can't do anything about. It just happens, and this has already happened so we can't do anything about it So don't worry, just let this one slide. After a few weeks, you won't even be thinking of this incident. But remember that in the event you are falsely accused again sometime in the future, you can still stand up for yourself. Even if the other party doesn't accept it and you still have to pay the penalty, at least you stood up for yourself

About hearing someone shoot themselves... that's extremely difficult to hear/watch/cope with. I'm so sorry that you had to be there at the moment to see/hear it. It is indeed extremely triggering and overwhelming on the mind, but there are some things you can do to not let it take a toll on your mind:

- Recognise that it happened. Tell yourself every day and every time you remember it "Yes, my neighbour committed suicide with a gun. But I won't let that affect my mental health." The reason I'm saying this is because acceptance sometimes helps a lot - accepting that so-and-so happened helps us get over it too. If it helps you, write down how you feel.

- Time heals all wounds. Unfortunately, such a jarring incident will remain in your memory for some time, so the best thing you can do is convince yourself that eventually you will come to terms with it. Whenever you remember the incident, you might want to opt for a simple habit that will help you cope with the feelings that arise. Perhaps you could count to ten, or do some jumping jacks, or something that will just ease the anguish you might feel at the moment.

- Talk about it. Talking about the incident to someone might definitely go a long way in lifting this weight off your chest. It could be a parent, a therapist, a crisis call centre or a school teacher, even. This is a really tough thing to deal with if it's kept bottled up inside you, so reach out to people and talk about it. You can PM me if you want to have a chat anytime, especially when you are feeling particularly down because of this.

- Take it as a way to channelise positive thoughts. While such incidents inevitably affect us, it is great if you can find a silver lining through this incident. I have heard of stories whereby after witnessing or hearing another suicide, the witness resolves to never commit such an act, simply because of the trauma it imposes on those around them. I had a friend commit suicide, and while I never witnessed it while I've never (thankfully) had any suicidal tendencies, I resolved that I'll never go down that route no matter how difficult life gets.

- Volunteering is an extremely uplifting thing you can do. Find a charity that you are passionate about - it could be a homeless people's shelter, it could be an animal sanctuary, or a home for abused women and children. Volunteering gives you a sense of purpose and evokes a renewed sense of power in you, like "Hey, I'm making a difference in someone else's life." A lot of people have managed to cope with their own life's struggles after seeing the suffering of others. I've heard how a member of a really famous Cantonese pop group S.H.E. recovered from her depression after a volunteering trip to India where she saw people living in utter poverty.

I can understand how overwhelmed you must be feeling. From personal experience, I can relate - I once heard a loud sound outside my house and a person had got into an accident (they luckily didn't die). But the confusion and scare at the moment was very tangible. My mom underwent something just like you did - once she woke up really early and she went into one of the rooms of our house. We were living in a 40-storey apartment and we were on the 2nd floor, so the ground was really nearby. As she went into that room, she heard a loud thud - someone had jumped off our building and fell right outside our house. She later said that the police cordoned off the area and fetched the body. It took her months to recover, but she continued being deeply involved in spirituality and religion, and that helped her greatly.

It's unfortunate how many of us have to hear or witness things as traumatic as this. It just reminds us how fragile and fleeting life is... but remember that our species has survived even our closely-related human-like species (hominins) like the Neanderthals, so we're hardwired for survival. Think of this as a blessing in disguise - now you'll emerge stronger and better able to cope with the repercussions that arise as a result of suicide. Pray for that person, and focus on today

Take care, and PM me if you need to chat about anything!
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Re: Was triggered heavily today. - May 26th 2020, 11:09 PM


I am so sorry that you went though this and I hope that you will be okay soon.

When something horrible happens we do not know what to do. Maybe you can try the 5,4,3,2,1. That would be five things that you see, four things that you can hear, three things that you can feel, two things that you can smell and one thing that you can taste. For example, say that you are in your room and you see, a bookshelf, pink bag, TV, phone and blanket. Four things that you can hear are, the TV, people talking, music and animals. Three things that you can feel are a pillow, favorite blanket and your bed. Two things that you can smell are cookies and lavender. One thing that you can taste would be cookies. This can be anything in your room or living room or when you are outside, or anywhere you are at. It can help calm you down some.

Would you be able to talk with someone about this and let them know that you are having a hard time with this and need some help. Sometimes when something horrible happens we keep it to ourselves and it will keep bringing us down more and more. If you are able to talk to a family member or friend or someone else and let them in to help you out with this. Or you can write a letter and give it to someone. Or you can email or text them if you are not able to talk face to face.

When you have time try to find something to get your mind off of this for a while so that you are not thinking about it so much. Try going for a walk around your house and if you want to have on headphones or earbuds, try that to help you and listen to whatever music you like. Or reading or writing or drawing or painting or something else that you enjoy doing. I hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you Hugs to help you.

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