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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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flashbacks..bringing up old wants... - June 4th 2009, 01:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

so after 20 some days without cutting (yay!) i start getting these flashbacks, well actually i started getting them after i got out of the hospital.

anyways, i get these flashbacks where i like totally zone out, i dont hear anyone or anything, all i see is whats going on in my mind. during the flashbacks the only thing i can see in my mind is darkness and me cutting myself...like im watching from above....then it changes and im me...im cutting through my skin...drawing blood....then i think i feel blood dripping down my arm....

eventually one of my friends will notice im not paying attention and poke me,it doesnt always work. its like im in a trance or something i guess. but if poking me doesnt work they grab my arm,freaking me out,and i snap out of it. they dont see me check my arms for blood or cuts,they dont see the tears in my eyes. but today,my friend knew something was wrong and she asked,i told her i get flashbacks where i can feel the pain of cutting myself and see it in my head. she asked if i was okay,i said i didnt know and i left(the bell had rung so i had to go to class).

i use to be able to stop these flashbacks with music, now i cant stop them with anything it seems. i cant even make them shorter like they used to be. they keep getting longer and longer.

is this normal? what can i do to make them less or stop them completely? can i stop them?

right now...i feel as though the only way to make them stop is to make the pain real....please help me...


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YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

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dancer Offline
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Re: flashbacks..bringing up old wants... - June 4th 2009, 03:05 AM

Hey Brooke,

I'm sorry that's happening. I can see how that can be scary. But I don't think the only way to make them stop is to make the pain real - that would probably only make the imprint of the memory stronger later on. And by the way, good job on twenty days without cutting! That's so great.

Do you have a doctor or counselor or even school nurse you could mention what's been going on to? I'll let you know if I find out any other ways that might help...

Hang in there, hun.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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xXbrooke13Xx Offline
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Re: flashbacks..bringing up old wants... - June 5th 2009, 01:04 AM

i tld my therapist about it last time i saw her.
then again today,just i told her how theyve gotten worse and she told me to think about what might be causing them to be so bad.
we figured it out, and im pretty sure we came to a solution that should help make it less..painful(for lack of better word).


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

  Send a message via AIM to xXbrooke13Xx Send a message via Yahoo to xXbrooke13Xx  
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dancer Offline
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Re: flashbacks..bringing up old wants... - June 5th 2009, 04:39 AM

Hey Brooke,

well, I'm glad things sound like they're starting to get more manageable. Hang in there

And watch out for low-flying geese!


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
xXbrooke13Xx Offline
done w/all the fake ppl
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Re: flashbacks..bringing up old wants... - June 5th 2009, 12:02 PM

yeah they are, im glad summers almost here, just a few more days and then all te stress of school and friend drama are gone

lol


~*fixed what was once broken*~

x7x13x

I.Love.You.<3


YOU ARE ON DRUGS,is what i think

so over you

KEEP MOVING FORWARD


need or wanna tlk,pm me nytime

  Send a message via AIM to xXbrooke13Xx Send a message via Yahoo to xXbrooke13Xx  
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