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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Newsflash! : LJ is NOT okay! - June 9th 2009, 07:13 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm sitting here and I'm trying to calm myself down after what will have been the 5th flashback of the day. I'm haunted by images, images of pain and destruction. New years eve I tried to kill myself. I'd told a 'friend' in America what I'd planned to do, I mean, I didn't think they could do anything. I was wrong. A whole 12 hours later three police officers were banging at my door at 5am. It had taken police from Arizona, two British police forces, the internet and my college to find me. I was so close to dying, when they found me I remember being sat down in the front room shaking and staring at the floor. The woman officer was really horrible to me, forcing me to do things I didn't want to do. The men were a lot nicer, asking me if I wanted to talk about it etc. They made sure I was okay and made me sign a makeshift document, stating that I wouldn't harm myself again...*sigh*
My parents thought that I was getting better so it came as a huge shock to them. My mum doesn't really know how to deal with this, so she told EVERYONE. Her friends came to talk to me, their children came to talk to me, she told people I didn't even know. I hate her for that. I wanted to keep it a secret but she shouted it to the world. I can't get over it and it's getting close to another repeat...I just...I'm not ok...*sigh*
   
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Re: Newsflash! : LJ is NOT okay! - June 9th 2009, 08:48 PM

Hey,

I know it doesn't feel okay at the moment, but it is going to be okay! I'm sorry your mom blurted out everything, it wasn't her place to do that. Have you ever talked about how much that hurt you that she did that? If not I think you two should sit down and have a talk with each other.

It seems like your friend cares about you if he went through all that to make sure you were okay. He was probably scared, I know my friend threatened that once and I did the same thing because I was worried! Are you guys still close? Maybe talk with that person, sometimes we all just want somebody to talk to!

Please, don't give up! Things will work out! It's hard but it's worth it! Please, if you need somebody to talk too, my PM box is ALWAYS open <3


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: Newsflash! : LJ is NOT okay! - June 9th 2009, 10:23 PM

I'm sorry...I can't cope anymore...I need to go.
   
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live.laugh.love
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Re: Newsflash! : LJ is NOT okay! - June 10th 2009, 12:34 AM

No you don't have to give up.
It might be hard to cope but you can do it if you try.
You have to make yourself cope with the way you feel and soon things will turn around! Don't do this, you are worth it! <3


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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