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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Getting more difficult than ever. - June 10th 2009, 09:56 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've always been a person to be able to deal with my own problems and my depression but lately its been getting wore. And fast.

Yes, I've been in hospital a few times before due to suicide attempts but this feeling is so much worse. I don't want people asking me why I'm suicidal, they're reasons I'd rather keep personal.

I tried to do it again the other night. I don't know how this is happening, I've been depressed for 2 years now and slowly its getting a lot worse.

I seem okay until something small happens and I burst into tears and try to commit suicide or just don't talk, eat or sleep for days. I want things to get better.

Everyone keeps saying "things will get better", but when? When will things get better? Everything just seems to worsen.

Comments made by friends like "Are you manic depressive or something?" And "I wonder when things will get worse again and you try to commit suicide."

I'm sure these are light-hearted but considering my past, are not things to be said or joked about.

I'm just getting suicidal again now and I don't know how to cope. I've lost 8 close people to suicide and would never dream of doing that to my friends and family but I feel as though it's the only way out.

I want to die.


What a shame, what a shame
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same, what a shame
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Re: Getting more difficult than ever. - June 10th 2009, 10:05 PM

Hey,

I know you don't believe that things will get better but they will. When? Well, that can't be answered, it could happen anytime. But just know that someday they will be. You have to work at it, happiness takes work. I know you said that you can handle this on your own, but I wouldn't try it. People need people sometimes, it's okay to admit and seek help from others! Why not talk to somebody, a counselor, parents, other family members, friends, let some people in! It's not going to hurt you to try and reach out for help, it's hard , yes but it's for the best (:

Tell your friends that when they stuff like that it hurts you and you would prefer that they not talk or "joke," that way!

Keep hanging in there, things will get better!
Don't give up! If you need to talk PM me. <3


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: Getting more difficult than ever. - June 10th 2009, 10:15 PM

I've tried counselors and to be honest, they didn't help much at all. My family and I do not get along at all so that is out of the question. My friends are all leaving me one by one becasue they can't handle my depression. I try letting people in but when I do, everything goes wrong.

I am seeking help by putting this on TH. I'm trying to reach out to people who won't just brush me off when they don't need me anymore.


What a shame, what a shame
To judge a life that you can't change
The choir sings, the church bells ring
So won't you give this man his wings?
What a shame to have to beg you to
See we're not all the same, what a shame
  Send a message via MSN to Woo! Imagination xD  
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Re: Getting more difficult than ever. - June 10th 2009, 10:33 PM

Even just the first sentence of this thread reminded me of myself. I'm sure you've heard this a million times before, but things really don't have to be this way. Whatever's depressing you, though you'd not like to share, is where the problem lies. Maybe it would help if you'd find someone you trust to share that with? Just talking through things can help.

Personally, I write. It sounds cliche, but do whatever helps.

Alright, as for friends and family, it's hard to understand something you've never been through. If they've never felt the way you do, they may say things that seem innocent enough to them, but cut like glass through you. It's tough for them, it's tougher for you. If anyone says anything triggering to me, I can usually just remind myself that they've never been through it, they don't know how I feel, and it's unfair for me to expect them to. You have to accept that some people aren't perceptive.

I admire you for thinking of your loved ones, though, before making any move. It shows responsibility for your actions, kindness in your heart, and honestly, hope. I think somewhere you've still got some life left in you. Now you just have to dig deep and find it. <3


;Jessica.
Baby, there's no gettin' over you.

Take my heart as you head for the door;
I won't be needing it anymore.


Softball:
Because when it comes to balls, bigger is better.




   
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Re: Getting more difficult than ever. - June 12th 2009, 04:06 AM

I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time. But, things can and will get better. I know it doesn't seem like it now though. As for when, well like the other person said, that is hard to say, it could happen tomorrow or it could take longer but you have to believe that it can get better.

You said you went to therapists and it didn't help and I understand that. The only way a therapist can help is if you let them in and you trust them, did you trust the therapist that you went to?

You said you want to keep your reasons for suicide a secret and that is understandable but the truth of the matter is if you don't confront the reason behind your suicidal feelings than you will have an even harder time getting better. The only way to resolve you issues is to confront them. I know how hard that is. It took me two and a half years to realize that. Please consider talking to someone about the reasons why you feel suicidal, if not here than to a friend or therapist.

I am sorry to hear that your friends are distancing themselves from you. That must be really hard. Please try not to take it personal because I bet it isn't meant to hurt you. Your friends could be distancing themselves from you because they are afraid of losing you.

It is great that you are thinking about your family and friends and not jumping to any rash decisions. If you ever feel like you are going to take your life go to the hospital because they will place you in a safe environment and help you to the best of their ability.

Hope things start to get better for you and if you ever need to talk please feel free to pm or aim me.


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