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Oddoneout Offline
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was it realy worth it - June 13th 2009, 02:50 AM

I have had alot of problems in the past even a suicide attempt, this year for the first time in my life I have been sorta happy but now I am wondering if it realy was worth all the effort getting here. all I have realy gain is a buch of "freinds" who don't care at all, 2 close freinds, and a crush on one of those freinds that is driving me insainer

yes I talked to her about it, she already has a boyfreind so it was mearly an effort to get it out. they say talking about something helps but only temporaraly. I still can't stop thinking about her and this is still driving me crazyer

everyone seems to find me slightly annoying at best


and before anyone asks "why are you hanging out with them?" it is because I have nothing else to do



I don't know why I even bother anymore I am never going to have a normal life I am probibly gonna be like this my entier life even if I do make it out of highschool alive I won't be able to function


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with or without religion a good person will do good and an evil one will do evil
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Katrina Offline
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Re: was it realy worth it - June 13th 2009, 03:50 AM

Hey Daniel. (:

I really did smile as I read your first little paragraph thing. Is that weird? Probably so. Am I telling you anyway? Absolutely. You're...there. You're to a point where you're actually asking yourself if it was worth it to get "there" and I think that's completely amazing. I know this is going to sound cliche like nobody's business, but I really do think it's an uphill journey from here. Perhaps, since you've been feeling so low for so long now, now this happy is just neutral, but there is more happiness in your future. [: I'm so glad you've made friends, and I know you'll follow your heart and make the best decisions for yourself about the crush.

I actually wasn't even considering asking why you hang out with them. o_O They're your friends? I'd be more likely to ask why you weren't
hanging out with them if they were friends of yours, you know? I think it was brave of you to talk to your crush, and I think it's even more brave of you to restrain yourself and make yourself realize that she's off limits while she has a boyfriend.

Are you a senior? You're so close. Please stick it out. I haven't been to college yet, but I will be attending at the end of August, and I'm so excited to see what this new chapter holds. If not, you're probably about to be a senior. That's a YEAR at the most. You can do this. Please hang in there.



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Re: was it realy worth it - June 13th 2009, 04:15 AM

great I have acheaved netral happyness and it only took me my whole life so far to do it

yeah I am a senior but I am taking a 5th year of high school and it is good because collage terrifys me I have heard alot about what it is supost to be like I have no idea what to expect and I am barly able to function normaly now idk what I'll do on my own


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dancer Offline
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Re: was it realy worth it - June 16th 2009, 05:45 AM

Hi Daniel,

the future and unexpectedness are always scary. And hey, you should be proud of any level of happiness you've achieved so far. Because working towards happiness gets easier as you go along, so things should pick up eventually. Hang in there.

In terms of college, take a deep breath - you're not completely thrust out on your own at the beginning. I have a lot of older cousins, and they still ask their parents for help or guidance or whatever, but they're still perfectly functioning individuals. They're just making sure they have the support they need to get on their own two feet at a pace that's right for them. You get to do that, too.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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