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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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help me. - June 16th 2009, 09:07 PM

please.
i can't take this anymore it hurts and i just want to fade away.
i can't handle it, it's always so hard.
and i don't want to text/call anybody i'm close too because i don't want to bother/annoy them with my problems. they have a life and they shouldn't have to deal with mine.

i should just go and be done with it.
it's only going to be a matter of time.
it's ending.
i know it.
]=


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keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 16th 2009, 09:18 PM

Hi Cassie

Your so amazingly awesome. The whole site would be absoluetly gutted if you ended your life...let alone the people you would hurt, like family & friends.

Your an active member of the site & you always make people feel good, well, maybe for once you need to feel good for yourself.

I know things are difficult & Im sorry you are feeling this way, depression & suicide are both bitches. Do you really want to fall into the hands of a bitch. you are stronger than that, you just havnt realised that yet.

You dont have to talk to someone close to you. You can talk to a helpline, or talk to anybody on teenhelp.

Its ending, only becauae you think it is....I believe you can change things around.

Things may not be perfect, but they do get better. Seriously.

I dont want you to end it.....& I know your in a lot of pain.

Honestly, suicide is NOT the answer....when you get throught his depressive phase, then you can back me up & tell me suicide is NOT the answer

I have faith in you, so much, you need to have faith in yourself. You are special & if you ever want to talk, well, PM me.

Keep safe & if you need to, get to a local hospital

I believe in you

Jamie
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 12:56 AM

You think it's better to die than to annoy someone once in a while? The people you love won't be all that bothered when you go to them, that's what makes them your friends.

I don't know the specifics of your situation to make you think everything is so hard, but I know from personal experience that we're a lot stronger than we think we are. You have to convince yourself you CAN make it through this and realize that ultimately it's up to you to either change your situation or the way it makes you view life.


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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 03:15 AM

Hi Cassie,

*hugs* I'm sorry things are feeling so tough right now, hun. And you WON'T be bothering anyone by texting them.

Anything happen today that was triggering?

Hang in there. Your vibrance is too important to fade.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 03:17 AM

No, I just woke up and I was in a bad mood.
I can't do this anymore, it HURTS.
]=


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 03:21 AM

Cassie,

yes you CAN do this. Yeah, life does hurt sometimes, which completely sucks, but as long as you don't give up, it'll stop hurting. I know that's really hard to believe when things feel overwhelming, but eventually tides that we're drowning in recede.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 03:33 AM

]= but i don't see the point anymore.
nobody is going to miss me.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 03:48 AM

I'D MISS YOU!!!!

And your youth pastor would miss you, and your friends, and a whole bunch of other "ands"

And you're the point. You, and your dreams and what you want to do and what you care about.

So there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 17th 2009, 04:00 AM

Cassie I would so!!! And loads of people on this site would!!! Your youth pastor other people in your church your friends family you would so be missed.

You help out so many people Ive seen your posts around the threads and you give really good advice. Your down in the dumps right now but maybe it'll get better tmrw. Try to stay positive.


   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 12:33 AM

Please don't go. You're one of the folks who make this site truly worthwhile . If you're close to someone, they'll want to be bothered if you're bothered by something this much.

Please feel free to PM me.


_______________________________________________
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 02:12 AM

arg.
i don't understand why people don't get it.
i get suicidal and everytime i mean it like i have everything and i'm ready to do it but everytime something or somebody stops me.... and i was talking to somebody today and they were like "well if you keep it up, you going to be like the little boy he cried wolf..." like wth, maybe people would rather me do something.... ha, then they were like "choose life or death, which one cassie...if you say i don't know, i'm walking away." and I'm sitting there thinking it's inbetween but no i couldn't choose that answer and I wanted to say death because well hey, that's STILL how i feel but then i'm sure that would have started a whole nother tangent and i said life... so today didn't accomplish much...

but i was in a good mood for awhile because i went out with my friend... so i ended up texting my youth pastor since i didn't speak with her today that i promised i would hold on til i was eighteen and now i feel stupid for that ]= i shouldn't promise things.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 02:37 AM

You did the right thing.
You'll be fine, Cassie. I promise :]
YouTube - Guns N' Roses - Patience
that's my 2nd favorite song ever. It'll get you up. auron's promise :P


_______________________________________________
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:12 AM

i don't know.
i'm done talking because i don't wanna be "the little girl who cried suicide" wtf everrr.
i'mdoneewiththis.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:21 AM

Cassie!

Hun, you wouldn't be "the little girl who cried suicide." There were a few months for me where I would text a friend or something and wonder "do you even still believe me anymore?"

But it turns out friends always do.

I think sometimes people give ultimatums because they're hoping the person will "give up" in a different way and be like "fine, I guess in the end I don't really want to die, I just want out of how I'm feeling right now." Or, if they do get a straight answer the other way, at least they know what they're working with.

You don't have to be done with anything, Cassie. We're always, always here to listen and to believe you and how you're feeling.

And to hopefully get the feeling part to a better place.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:27 AM

obv. i would be sooooo i should just stop talking about it.
no more talking.
just no.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:30 AM

I know we're not near as close as we used to be, but you can't give up. So many people would be hurt if you'd give up, we all want to see you alive and happy..and you will make it there one day. Just keep smiling and have faith. :]
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:33 AM

Cassie,

*squeezes tightly*

You deserve to get out what you're actually feeling, repetitive as it may seem. People will still believe you. If they do say the "choose now" thing - tell them if you're not feeling sure, and that you need them to NOT walk away. We need the hands that help hold us up when our own knees don't seem to want to lock anymore. And we need the voices that help remind us of what our own sound like because they make us use them, even when it's hard or seems pointless, to talk to them.

And I don't allow giving up.

We'll work things out.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:36 AM

yeah but it doesn't matter.
because nobody is going to believe me when i really need it thee most
which is everytime but nobody cares about that. ]=


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:39 AM

It matters, and people do care about you. Whether it be your friends, your pastor, or here at TH. We care about you and want you to get through this, we know you can. So hang on to us, cause we're not letting you go! <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:46 AM

Yes it does matter.

And you matter a flipping lot.

You don't know whether or not people will believe you until you tell them. And if you tell them, too, that you don't mean to sound like you're just crying wolf or whatever, but that you really need their help, they'll probably understand.

Because they DO care.

And we care.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:52 AM

yeah, well i tried to talk to and i got yelled because i need "tough love"
i cant handleee thiss.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:54 AM

Cassie, honey, it'll be okay. You don't have to go through this alone - we're here to help handle it.

Agh, I understand frustration about the "tough love" thing. I got that once - well, more than once - from a friend I had turned to for help. My response was basically "dude, not what I needed to hear right now. Kind of making me feel worse." Didn't tell him that - but I understand how you feel.

Maybe try texting your youth pastor, and letting her know you could use some support? That things are tough enough right now without tough love? People often pull through surprisingly.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 04:59 AM

ugh, it wasn't her that did it though.
i couldn't find her when i walked into the church.
so i talked to her mom because we're equally as close.
and yeah.

i don't know, i'll see my youth pastor tomorrow.
we have church on thursdays, so i'll go i guess,
though i don't wanna talk.
i just wanna cry.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:04 AM

I'm sorry that you couldn't find your youth pastor But hey, at least you will get to see her tomorrow. I know I've mentioned it before, but when talking doesn't seem to be working so well, there is trying to write out what you're feeling, as extensive or not-so-extensive as what works for you, and have whomever you would have talked to read that instead.

*hugs*
Crying is okay. Sometimes crying can be a way of letting out all the frustration or hurt or whatever that seems to get tangled up and not want to come out any other way.

Hang in there, and take care of yourself. I'll be praying for you.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#25 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:11 AM

what's the point of talking if that's all that's probably going to be said.
it's not my fault how i feel and i don't blame other people either.
but it's like, i don't know, i'm supposed to be able to say "this ends now" and everything will be okay. and it's not. and god i don't know this sucks.


i hate life.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:14 AM

It's hard to just jolt yourself out of feeling bad. I've found that long-term and short-term, it's a gradual process.

Conversations can often be more extensive than we first anticipate. Even if you only have one thing to say, your youth pastor might have a longer response. I've found that in conversations, you can start out with basically nothing and somehow still manage to get somewhere.

Maybe... hate the times when life sucks, but not life itself. Because life is more than just those times.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:18 AM

i don't know.
i don't see the point, i know what's going to happen.
she'll see me, come up and hug me, ask how i am and i'll say great and walk away.
so it doesn't matter. anymore at all


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:20 AM

Cassie, like I said before, it does matter.

And it doesn't seem like you're really satisfied with that dialogue. So give it a chance to be something different - change it. You could even just add one word - instead of saying "great," say "not great."

You get to take the chance to maybe help things get better.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#29 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:29 AM

i know.
i should tell her or whomever ask me "not great" i guess.
i don't know if it will solve anything but maybe i'll try it.
thanks.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Re: help me. - June 18th 2009, 05:35 AM

Anytime.

Giving it a try at least gives the opportunity for good to happen.

Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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