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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 04:25 AM

I'm not feeling depressed, but I want to die right now. I thought I was growing out of it..

I saw the heartless shell I thought I could trust today, the entire reason I ever felt like this in the first place. All the memories came rushing back, and I felt like crying. Because of her, I rarely talk to anyone anymore, except with my closest friends. Which are very few anymore. And it's ruining me, but I can't change it. I stopped caring if I lived or died a long time ago, now I'm living for my friends. But even that's slipping anymore. I don't know..
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Re: Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 04:34 AM

Hey there Colton,

emotional residue from relationship issues can be really hard to deal with - but you can get past it.

Even if because of her, you stopped talking to people, try restarting talking to people - because of you. For you. Because of who you want to be again. It's never too late to become the person you want to be. All you have to do is try to be the you that you want to be. You'll get your footing down eventually.

And you deserve to live for you, too. I understand how that feels though - there were times where it felt like I was just hanging on because I didn't want to hurt my friends. But you, all by yourself, just because you're you, regardless of however confusing or frustrating being you might feel right now, are worth it.

You still have so much to live for - the things you'll do, the dreams you want to accomplish, the people you've yet to meet, the experiences you've yet to have, the impact you've yet to make just by living your life.

So hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 04:49 AM

Hiya Colton, (wicked name! =])

It's always tough to deal with someone that has betrayed your trust. It's obviously you're feeling this pain.

You're 18, so I'm assuming you'll be at a university this coming school year? I suppose that you and this girl won't be seeing each other for a while, the memories won't be gushing back to you hopefully. You could also avoid things that remind you of her.

You say at the moment you are living for your friends but even that is slipping away, well when you go to your uni, then you will meet many more people. You can still keep in touch with these friends now. But try to be open to new people, you never know what surprises they may bring!

Suicide, or death, isn't the answer. There are ways out, things will get better just hang in there. There is an alternatives sticky in the SH forum, that you could use to help get your mind off this,like: exercise, an art project, a new hobby etc.

You were meant to live, just hold on. PM me anytime if you want to talk. =) Please take care of yourself Colton, you deserve it.
   
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Re: Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 05:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmiLeigh View Post
...You're 18...
Uhm, no, I'm 16
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Re: Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 07:01 AM

(When tired, "6" can look a bunch like an "8.")
Well, try to find ways to avoid what triggers you in the meantime, anyway. Try to keep yourself in an environment that you'd want to draw from in building yourself, or which you'd want to be a medium for your personal expression.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Why do I always keep slipping? - June 20th 2009, 12:18 PM

Hey Colton(I agree that is a wicked name),

I just wanted to say sorry you are feeling so low. I know that it sucks but it will be okay just keep telling yourself that.

Colton it sounds like that relationship really did you in. That's always tough but you can overcome it, okay. You said that you ran into her and it brought back these feelings, right? Well, have you ever talked about these feelings that she brings out in you and what she did to you to anyone? I know how hard that might be but it might help you get past what happened and start healing. Sometimes talking results in healing. Do you think you could talk to a couselor or one of your close friends about what occured? If not maybe you could try writing it all down in a journal or in a letter to her explaining how she hurt you(you don't ever have to send it either)

Also, do you see her alot? If so is there any possible way to see her less? Maybe you aren't ready to deal with her and that is okay.

Have you considered talking to your old friends again? The ones you quit talking to because of what occured? It might help you start feeling better, please give it a shot.

Colton please stay strong and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm or aim me.


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