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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Bending Under the Stress - June 25th 2009, 03:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So wow!

If I seem like I'm happy or laughing or something, I'm really not. It's just what I do when I get really stressed


Alright so, damn. Been self harming ALOT the past month. Been under enormous amounts of stress.

1) My jackass father won't answer or return my calls when I was just trying to make plans for father's day. WHATEVER! Ugh. Jerk.

2) My mom does all she can to make me feel less important than my stupid sister.

3) My sister is a slut and drinks and does drugs and is hte fucking favorite in the family. What the hell?

4) Sister is moving back soon.

5) Guy Im in love with doesn't act like he wants to be with me

6) My mind is against me and I'm constantly finding new ways to hurt myself.

UGH! HELP! lol

>>>___<<<
   
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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 25th 2009, 03:08 AM

Hey Mystery,

*hugs gently*

sorry that things have been really sucky lately

So, your dad was being really weird... ignore his mental lapse. You were just being a good daughter, and you should be proud of that.

And ignore what your mom says. I know, easier said than done. But you know that you're a good person. Just because someone's your parent doesn't make them right. There is no such thing as "more" or "less" important with people - just feeling that way. But you are always ridiculously important.

Could you try talking to the guy and being like "hey, what's up?" You deserve to voice how you're feeling in the relationship.

Could you try reharnessing your creativity, and when you notice that you're starting to think of new ways to hurt yourself, switch your thinking to finding new ways to cope healthily with what's going on?

Hang in there.


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dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 25th 2009, 04:59 AM

Hey,
Deep breathe.
It sounds like you are going through a lot of stressful sit. right now.
I'm sorry your father ignored your attempts to make plans, for fathers day. That must have hurt your feelings. Whenever you talk to him next, why don't you explain how that made you feel and how you would like things to change between you two?
That really sucks about how your mom treats you. I understand what it's like to have a messed up sister who does all sorts of things and get all the attention and basically be the favorite. That's how it is at my house as well. It hurts and it's not fun. That's why I try to hardly be home, I got involved with activities at school and church. Could you maybe get invovled with things so that you can stay away from her as much as you can. Or have you tried talking to your mom? Sometimes parents don't realize they are lavishing attention on one sibling and sort of forgetting the other, maybe you could sit down and tell her how you feel?

That sucks about the guy, maybe talk to him and see how he feels about everything?

Don't hurt yourself, it's not worth it. pain can't cure pain.
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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 25th 2009, 09:29 PM

Hi Mystery


So wow!

If I seem like I'm happy or laughing or something, I'm really not. It's just what I do when I get really stressed

Dont worry, its understandable, people can put on fronts without even realising it. Especially when the are depressed or under pressure.


Alright so, damn. Been self harming ALOT the past month. Been under enormous amounts of stress.

Thats ok....you have been stressed & you are using your coping mechanism. Although not the best coping mechanism....its best not to stress yourself even more because you have been self harming.


1) My jackass father won't answer or return my calls when I was just trying to make plans for father's day. WHATEVER! Ugh. Jerk.

His loss, if he doesnt want to make plans for fathers day & you tried to make plans, then just leave it a while. If he doesnt contact you, question yourself, is it worth it. Do you still love him?

2) My mom does all she can to make me feel less important than my stupid sister.

What kind of behaviours show that this is the case? Its horrible when parents seem to put one child in front of the other, dont take it to heart, Im sure she still loves you & doesnt mean to behave the way she does.

3) My sister is a slut and drinks and does drugs and is hte fucking favorite in the family. What the hell?

Your sister may be what you describe, but your family hasnt got a favourite. It may seem like they have....thats because your sister needs help with drugs & drink....people with drug and drink addictions need a lot of attention & rehab. I know you are still struggling, which is why things seem unfair. But honestly, I dont think your family are purposly picking favourites

4) Sister is moving back soon.

This could be a good move, or a bad move. Its up to you (and her) to sort things out with each other....if you decide to get on, then great....if you dont get on...things wont go well. Dont judge your sister, she is having a hard time & so are you. So she shouldnt judge you. You could get on great if starting afresh

5) Guy Im in love with doesn't act like he wants to be with me

Then he is not worth it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, I dont know how old you are, but I do know that when you find the right person you & he will know.

6) My mind is against me and I'm constantly finding new ways to hurt myself.

Ok, you know you dont have to hurt yourself...dont punish yourself....instead of looking for ways to hurt yourself, look for ways to make you feel better, get a make over, have a foot massage. Sit down - watch a film. You know, pamper yourself.
Its very difficult, when all yo uwant to do is hurt yourself.

Try writing all your anger on paper, then ripping it up. Just because your mind is against you, doesnt mean your hurt & soul are.

I believe you can cope, you did the right thing by writing this thread & I know things will get better, if you try.





UGH! HELP! lol

>>>___<<<


If you need to talk my inbox is open.

Jamie
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 25th 2009, 10:04 PM

Alright, so I figured out I'm going to take my anti-depressants like I should be doing. I haven't taken them for almost 6 months now, but...I'm hoping they will help.

If they don't - I'll give them a month - then I may end up admitting myself again, because going on like this is not working.

What my mom does is that she will talk to my sister (out of state) on the phone more than she talks to me. When we try to have a conversation or have just us time she will be texted or called by my sister and take them. So then our time turns into their time. And the other day she called me a slut because I take guys to my room even though I have no interest in doing anything with them and they should know this because I have told them I don't want anything but a friend.

Also, my grandmother has told me ot my face, "Katie is our favorite". Yes, she does love me and she does a lot for me, BUT....yeah, she said my sister is their favorite.

I've been thinking, if I can not harm myself until my birthday, then I will compromise with myself by getting a tattoo. Of course I will make sure it's somethign good and meaningful, not just stupid and pointless lol, but I think it might be good. Even if I just get a tiny one, it might be enough to keep me from self harming for awhile. Worth a shot right?

Thank you guys for your replies. They have helped enormously. =]
   
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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 26th 2009, 12:36 AM

well, if your not the family favorite, so what? I think you should do what makes YOU happy. I've had to cut my family away from my life. I still live with them, but all my cousins and my sister have/will go further than I ever will.

Don't worry about the guy. Romantic problems have a knack for fixing themselves in the least likely way

Most of all, get some help, so you can start figuring out how to deal with these things in ways that are beyond hurting yourself.


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Re: Bending Under the Stress - June 26th 2009, 04:59 AM

Hi Mystery,

I'm so proud of you! I think your plan sounds great. I've actually thought about the tattoo thing before, too, but for I'm now I'm just sticking with my own ballpoint pen

Well, you can be our favorite, then. (No offense to your sister.)

Hang in there


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dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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