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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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battlefield... - July 2nd 2009, 03:20 AM

that's how my mind is right now.
a big gigantic battlefield where part of me is trying to live and part of me is trying to give up.

i'm so confused and lost and everything just kind of hurts.
i'll be fine for a couple days and then fall for a couple.
i'll be upset talk to somebody be fine for a little while then fall again.

i'm sick of always being at war with myself for myself.
gah, i'm supposed to talk to my pastor sunday but i doubt i'll be able to, so now, no talking, no feeling better, just sitting and feeling sorry for myself. i really need to stop that, i really need to take my own advice, i sure give it to other people... but i never listen to myself or anybody around me.... why am i so stupid.

i don't know, it's not like i'm suicidal or anything.
just confused and lost and not knowing what to do..
everything just sucks.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
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dancer Offline
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Re: battlefield... - July 2nd 2009, 03:36 AM

Hey Cassie,

*hugs*

I'm sorry everything just sucks. That really sucks.

I understand what you mean, by feeling like your mind is a battlefield - but as long as you decide to keep going, you're guaranteed to win the battle. Nobody can make you give up. You get to decide to win. There's a quote that says "victory is always possible for those who keep fighting."

Emotional roller coasters suck. Unfortunately, a lot of the time it just takes waiting them out until they're finished with all their loops and jumbles and smooth out because life and time demand that they do eventually.

I've found that our own advice is typically the hardest to take. But Cassie, you're an amazing person, definitely not stupid, and please don't ever forget that. You help so many people, to deserve to keep trying to help yourself, too. So, why can't you talk to your pastor? We'll try to figure out something...

Hang in there <3


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: battlefield... - July 2nd 2009, 08:06 AM

hey.

just like what dancer said, everything and all is going to get better. and i'm going to second what you say by saying that sometimes, we are so good at helping other people.. we someone forget our own self sometimes.

but hey, that shows that you're a person anyone, and everyone will be lucky to know i know i feel that way.

hang in there, and remember i'm always up for helping. Never forget that you're a cool, wonderful person and never ever forget that all bad things will pass, replaced with the good.

take care there, and i'm free any time if you need a listener !


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Re: battlefield... - July 2nd 2009, 09:11 PM

Hey Cassie,

You are not stupid. From what I can tell I think you are the farthest thing from stupid. You know, everyone has trouble taking their own advice, even if it is really good advice.

I know what you mean about the whole battlefield thing and in a way that is a good thing because it means that you haven't given up. I know it would be better if you didn't have to battle with these stupid thoughts at all but if you must at least you are fighting them, you know.

Cassie, talking to people is hard, no doubt about it, but it does help so please try to talk to your pastor. If you want you could organize all your thoughts by writing them down and then taking the paper with you as a type of moral support or if you wanted you could ask a friend to go with you for moral support? But, please try to talk, it might help.

Stay strong Cassie because I think you are a strong person and if you need someone to talk to remember my pm box is open.


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