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NOsmoking Offline
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HELP please - July 4th 2009, 06:00 AM

Suicidal thoughts...helps please?

for the past few years, and more so lately, things are really going bad for me. one of the things is that because of my decision to not do drugs or drink alcohol in high school, i now have no friends. as a result, i now have absolutely no self esteem which makes it extremely difficult for me to even try to make new friends. each attempt had the same result...failure. this has bothered me a lot more recently and i really do not know what to do anymore.

another thing bothering me is that there is this girl who i work with that i really like. for a little bit i thought that she might like me back, but lately it seems like ive driven her away from liking me and its really dragging me down emotionally. ive never been good with talking to girls, but for some reason this particular case is really really bothering me.

These are just a few of the many problems i am currently facing. I've tried praying to God a lot recently, asking God to show me some mercy, but things just seem to be getting worse. ive never thought about suicide before recently, but lately it has gotten so bad that it's just about all i have thought about the past few weeks. I do not know what else to do b/c i really do not want to commit suicide. I'd love to see the future (i.e. me with a family or me just finding some kind of happiness that lasts for a long time), but i really do not know how much more i can take. ive gotten to the point where ive actually picked out a method and a time frame of when ill actully kill myself. the only thing really stopping me now is knowing that id inconvenience others. i know that suicides can really affect the people around you(in my case since i have no friends it would only be my family) and i really do not want to hurt these people. i could give two shits about myself, but its my care for others that is slowing me down. If you could, please help. Any help would be greatly appreciated...thanks
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Re: HELP please - July 4th 2009, 08:59 AM

Well first of all, kudos to you for deciding to not do drugs or alcohol.

I'm sorry to hear that you have no friends, but i'm sure you just haven't found the right group of people yet. I can imagine you probably feel like an outsider when it seems like everyone else is convinced that alcohol & drugs are the be all/end all of having a good time but there are other people out there who choose not to do it too, so you're not alone.
Just be yourself and you can find friends, but don't be discouraged when things don't work out... some people just don't click... it's not your fault.

I would recommend talking to someone about your suicidal thoughts. Please talk to someone.
Especially if you've made a plan... and you've said it yourself - you want to see the future, so don't take that chance away from yourself. Things will get better but i'm sorry to say they may take time.
Do you think you could talk to anyone, family maybe?
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Re: HELP please - July 4th 2009, 10:28 AM

Hey there,

I know how you are feeling. I made the same decision as you in high school and as a result I didn't make many friends but the thing is you will make friends you just have to give it time and possibly join some groups.

You said you did some praying so I am taking that to mean you believe in god so why don't you join some youth groups or something? That might help you find some friends? There are church groups for all ages practically. What do you think?

Please do not take your life because that is not a good solution; it may seem like it right now but in the end it really isn't. Have you considered talking to someone? A parent? A teacher? Or maybe even a counselor?

Please do not quit believing that you can start feeling better and start making friends. Hang in there and if you need someone to talk to my pm box is open.

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Re: HELP please - July 4th 2009, 07:04 PM

ya i really dont want it to come to that but it feels like its the only way out...
and when you say it will get better, i have trouble believing that since this has been going on since my sophmore year in h.s. (just finished my freshman yr in college).

ive tried joining youth groups in my area too, partly for the reason you mentioned and they said that "they didn't need anyone at this time."

But thank you both for your help and understanding and i will look into what you guys have said and try out some of your suggestions. if only i knew more people like you i might not be in this situation. you have no idea how much i appreciate your help.
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