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Anomaly Offline
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I dont know whats wrong with me - July 4th 2009, 11:25 PM

Yesterday was my birthday and really nothing bad happened but I just felt horrible all day.

Every summer I get depressed it never fails and i can feel it coming again but I cant stop it I cant fix it.

I freaked out on my friend cuz she hasent been talking to me cuz shes busy in the summer. But Ive been really needy latly and shes always been there for me before always helped me through this but shes not there this time. And she forgot my birthday and it just really upset me which it shouldnt have cuz shes really forgetful but taht just go to me for some reason.

Im in Florida on vacation and i hate it, I hate my family I hate being around them. Ive been so stressed this week I need a vacation from my freaking vacation.

Ive been on the verge of tears all week and crying on and off since last night and I never cry but I cried myself to sleep last night I cant stop crying. Cant make myself feel better. I hate this sooo much.

I feel like nobody cares about me again that Im just better off dead. Which isent true and I know it but I cant stop feeling this way.

Why is this happening to me again?


   
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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 5th 2009, 12:12 AM

hey,

i'm sorry this is happening to you. have you ever seen a doctor about it, you say you get depressed in the summer? what happens in the winter, if it's "seasonal" then it could be possible you have SAD. Which is why you should be seeking a doctor, if that's the case. Plus, they can help you find ways to cope with your depression.

I'm sorry you friend forgot your birthday that sucks but like you said she's forgetful, so I doubt she meant to forget it. Could you just tell her that you are really upset and you need a friend to lean on and if she could be there for you that it would be awesome.

You are not better off dead, read you sig "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11"

you know that God has a purpose for you even if it's really hard for you right now, just remember that. read 1 corinthians 10:13 that always helps me!

I really hope things look up for you soon.
If you need somebody to lean on, PM me.


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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 5th 2009, 12:32 AM

I'm sorry you had a bad birthday! I had a terrible birthday this year. I had been sick all week and I had a 103 fever. I couldn't get out of bed to even eat cake or ice cream! My presents from my parents were all stupid since the season dvd they gave me was of a show I really don't like and they didn't give me anything I asked for. I must've broken down into tears 5 times that day. I can't say why this is happening to you but ever since that day, it has made me want to make everyone elses birthday much better then mine. So maybe God is trying to teach you something like how to help others. Atleast you know after things get this bad, they can only get better.
   
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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 5th 2009, 02:33 AM

Im fine in the winter. I dont know what it is about summer. I guess its because im alone alot and my friends are the only people that keep me going and happy and they seem to be busy during summer so I cant see them that much.

Im trying to look for God with this. I know he just wants me to trust him and I'll get through this but I just keep getting discouraged.


   
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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 5th 2009, 02:41 AM

i understand that a lot of my friends have jobs in the summer and of course i'm the lucky one who couldn't find on so it's kind of lonesome when they have to work and i have to sit around. could you make plans maybe like once a week with them, so that you at least see them occasionaly!

don't be discouraged, i know it can be hard to lean on Him but that's what He wants and you know He want's to help. try letting him


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keep your faith alive.
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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 7th 2009, 01:55 AM

Hey Kendi,

I understand what you mean about summers - is there any way you could ask your friends about hanging out more? And being upset about a cousin, even a forgetful one, forgetting your birthday is understandable. (Btw, happy belated birthday!!! Get your driver's permit yet?) And I'm sorry to hear about the rough vacation - sounds like the ones I'm familiar with, too. If you can, maybe try to find some "you-time" away from your family however you can. And when you're back in Missouri, is there anyone like an aunt you could ask about hanging out with?

Hang in there, Kendi. I know that things can seem impossibly unfair a lot of times, but there's always a way through.

Hang in there.


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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 7th 2009, 02:44 PM

thx dancer.

I got home last night thank god. But the ride back was horrible my parents got into a huge fight and I was stuck in the car listening to them scream and getting called names for 2 hours.

Ive tried to hang out with my friends. Im going to one of my friends houses tonight. But the one who forgot my birthday just wont make time for me. Im going to church camp next week and since she couldnt go I wanted to hang out this week but she wont make anytime for me. Dont say I blame her I wouldnt want to hang out with me either.


   
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Re: I dont know whats wrong with me - July 7th 2009, 03:33 PM

Hey Kendi,

sorry to hear about the car ride. Those are not fun. I'm sending you a giant hug right now

Hmm... I'm sorry that the friend is being weird and not making time for you. But that's NOT a reflection on you at all, hun. That's her thing. You're an awesome person, Kendi, and your friends are lucky they get to hang out with you. Don't forget that.

Hope you have fun at church camp!

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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