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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Faye. Offline
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New therapist., - July 8th 2009, 10:00 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ugh, so new therapist soon and I'm just not feeling good about it all I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be treating all this, everything so seriously, that I'm being silly. Maybe I'm just melodramatic? Maybe the melancholy and self hatred I feel are no different to everyone else and I'm just meant to get on with it like everyone else. Maybe I'm just weak and am making too bigger a deal out of all this?

Hmmm, I'm starting to regret this whole getting help thing. I really doubt I can go through with it. I have to write an email to the therapist before I meet her, that's where this whole rant came from, but what am I meant to write? Everything I thought I knew I suddenly seem to doubt. Nothing is certain anymore, it's all fuzzy.

There are those lines in the cold play song 'Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, take me back to the start.' I want to go back to the start.

I just wish I could take back the past few years, I've fucked so much up, made so many mistakes, ruined years of my life. Maybe I got myself into this mess? And just because I got into it doesn't mean I can get out. I'm stuck.

I feel so lost and confused. I think I've forgotten how I really feel. I've forgotten what's an appropriate reaction. I'm so numb towards some things and over the top to others.

I just want to disappear. I'm fed up of asking things of myself that I can't do.

Sorry for the fact that all that is a bit of a mash of information :/ this really doesn't make any sense.

Faye


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: New therapist., - July 8th 2009, 10:18 PM

Faye,

It's always hard to start seeing a new therapist, but it's also a really positive, courageous step, so well done for coming this far and being willing to give this a try. You aren't being melodramatic, Faye. The melancholoy and the self-hatred, aren't just things you should just get on with, and when you say you're numb to some things and over the top towards others, I think you know that these issues are serious and important and deserve treatment. If it was anyone else, what would you say to them? The same applies to you, too.

You aren't weak. You're fighting more than most other people have to, especially so early in their lives, and that makes you strong in my eyes. And no matter what happened in the past, the point of this, seeing a therapist, is to help you get unstuck and find a way forward, and I'm confident that you can and that you deserve to.

Did they give you any suggestions for what they wanted you to say when you e-mail the therapist? If not, perhaps you could put some of what you've said here? Even if you're doubting something, you can put that and say you're concerned about it?

It's natural and understandble to be worried and feeling like you regret trying to get help. But what made you want that help in the first place? What do you want to get from therapy? If those things are still there,maybe they're worth working for - or even if they might still be there, maybe it's better to take the opportunity to work on them while you can?

You can do this. Try the first few sessions and see how it goes - there's nothing to stop you leaving if it's not helping, but you've come this far. How will you feel if you back out now? Okay you might feel relieved in the short term - but in the long term? Maybe you'll regret not taking the opportunity? What do you think?

Good luck with this and with your therapist if you do decide to go. Take care,

Lils
   
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Re: New therapist., - July 9th 2009, 01:31 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are struggling with this all but you can get through this. Going to a new therapist is always hard but you can do it; you took the first step by making the appointment now all you have to do is keep it. I know it will be hard but you can do it. And, it can really help a lot.

I think the email is a good idea. If you don't know what to write start out with a rough draft and go from there. What are some of the things you have been feeling lately? Tell the therapist that and maybe that could help you start the email off. Does that make sense.

If you really don't know what to tell the therapist then maybe you could write and tell him/her that and maybe he/she will be able to help you figure out what to write or they will tell you that you don't have to write it at all, instead you can wait until the appointment.

Hang in there and if you need somenone to talk to feel free to pm me.


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Re: New therapist., - July 9th 2009, 02:59 AM

Faye,

Don't give up. If you don't listen to anything else I have to write here, remember that little piece. Do not give up. The only person you're going to affect in doing that is yourself. You might be able to dig yourself out of this without any professional assistance, you might not. But, so long as you have the ability to reach a professional, why not see what it does? It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed with all this. It's perfectly natural to doubt yourself at this point. It's okay to be scared of what might happen. It takes a lot of courage to even ask for help. You did that. You managed to look through all of the bad crap going in and reach out. It takes a lot of strength. It takes a lot out of someone too. Don't turn down your chance that might have a huge positive effect on the future. When I say don't give up, I mean try everything you can to get back to a better state. Try all you can and see what helps the most. If this doesn't help, than at least you know that and you won't ever have to wonder "what if." I don't doubt you. I think you can go through with this. I think you can write the email, make it through all of this and come out on top.

Whatever you're feeling is important and that makes it serious. You are an important person and don't ignore anything you feel. As for the email, maybe just write exactly what you're writing to us? Explain it all, even your confusion. Honesty will only allow your counselor to further understand and help you. As for the past, you can't go back. Many of us wish we could, but we can't. Even though it's bad sometimes, it can help mold us into a better person in the future. Just because the events were bad, doesn't mean they can't help to mold something good. The beauty of the past is that we can change the future and we don't need to worry about what happened before because we can always overcome it. You can too. Don't dwell on not being able to go back, just concentrate on having a brighter future and learning from the previous mistakes. If you need anything, let me know. We're all here for you. You are worth it. You're never alone. :]

-Have hope


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Re: New therapist., - July 9th 2009, 04:30 PM

Going to a therapist is a great step. Going to Therapy has really helped me, because i can discuss my feeling,and work on strategies to improve my life. The most important thing I would suggest is to makes sure u feel comfortable with the therapist. If you feel the therpist,and u are not a good match tell them,and find somebody else. I love my therpist i have now,becuse i took the time to reserch them ,and kept looking until I found the right fit. Good luck ,and don't give up!!!


Don't give up. Don't give up on your story. Don't give up on the people you love. Hope is real. Love is real. It's all worth fighting for.- Jamie Tworkowski www.twloha.com/blog/

Please like Jamie said in this above statement Don't give up!!! I have accomplished so much in my life ,because I did not give up even in ultimate defeat. Show the world what you are made of,and go with it with dignity!








   
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