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bahamachicki Offline
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Exclamation My parents brainwash me... - July 13th 2009, 01:16 AM

I use to self harm and am still depressed.

My self harm started because of my parents.
They hit me.
They ask so many things of me at once that I have panic attacks.
The put me down constantly.
Nothing I do is good enough.
They try to keep me away from my boyfriend.
All they do is yell.
They make me feel like complete shit.

My parents yelled at me telling me that I'm not depressed.
When I tell them that I am and that it's their fault they go on to tell me that they are amazing parents and that they're nothing but good to me. They ask me what they've done that is so "god awful terrible" and when I give an answer they give one back that makes mine sound so insignificant. By the end of our conversations I'm left confused. Not knowing why I cut into my own flesh because of them because they're so "amazing" to me.

I know they must be brainwashing me. My boyfriend cries when I tell him that I feel my parents are right because he says he's seen what they've done to me. I'm so confused. I don't know what to do. I feel like I've lost the truth. I doubt anybody will understand what I'm trying to get help for but I thought I would at least give it a try...
   
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Re: My parents brainwash me... - July 13th 2009, 05:30 AM

Hey Melissa,

*hugs*

I'm sorry that you've been going through such a rough time. But please know that none of what is going on is your fault. No one, ever, has the right to hit you or put you down in any way. You shouldn't have to put up with that, especially when it leads to you hurting yourself. When things feel painful, you get to be good to yourself, not just make yourself hurt more. And what your parents say, about your or about themselves - just because someone's your parent, doesn't make them right.

Is there a counselor you could talk to? Or even your boyfriend's parents? Or another relative, like an aunt or older cousin? You deserve to be in a situation that recognizes just how much you matter and reminds you of that and of how much you are cared about. Also, there might be some information on how to go about changing your situation in the sticky from the rape and abuse forum resources, http://forums.teenhelp.org/f13-rape-...use-resources/

Hope that maybe helps some. Hang in there, hun. And feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: My parents brainwash me... - July 13th 2009, 09:44 AM

Hey Melissa,

I am really sorry to hear about all of this. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time at the moment. None of this is your fault so please don't blame yourself! No one deserves to be hit and treated in this way. You deserve so much better Melissa and for this to stop you are going to have to speak out and tell someone. The longer you leave it the worse it could get. It is a huge step to take but you have already taken a great step by posting this. You can take it a step further and tell someone what is happening then it could stop.

Your parents hurt you enough and you definitely don't deserve to be hurt a second time by yourself. You deserve to be loved and cared for.

Perhaps your boyfriend could help you to get the help you need. What do you think? Just remember Melissa you don't have to go through any of this alone. People here will always listen to you. Stay strong :-)
   
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Re: My parents brainwash me... - July 16th 2009, 06:33 AM

Hey hugs.
I really do connect with you there...my parents will get mad at me, call me horrible things, and make me believe I am nothing...sigh
The thing is you are NOT what your parents say. You have your own life and they shouldn't bring you down. The self harm, it hurts so much when you self harm. It isn't just hurting you, but it is hurting those around you--boyfriend, friends...Don't let the self harm take control because you are living and you have the option to stop self harming and to make things right.
I agree that you could ask your boyfriend about helping you. Call him when you want to self harm and talk to him until you are calm. When you feel like self harming talk to someone or go do something else that is healthy.
Don't listen to your parents. They don't know you the way you know yourself.
PM me sometime
Stay safe


Leave the past behind, just walk away
When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

*~*~This little girl was alone in the world~*~*
Hold Onto Hope
   
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