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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Noire Offline
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Best friend attempted suicide yesterday - July 30th 2009, 06:44 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So my normally uneventful day was rather jarred when I receive a call from my best friend telling me she needs someone to get her to the hospital. She took something the night before (I wont say what) hoping she would "never wake up." So I spent my evening getting her to the emergency room and waiting while she was admitted.

I am no stranger to depression or feeling like I want to end it all. I myself am an ex-SHer. The thing is, its odd being on the other side of the fence. I feel annoyed with her for doing something so, well, stupid. And for once I was glad that I was not the one who was going to be on the other side of locked and bolted doors and windows at the end of the night. Part of my wants to sympathize, because I have been in her shoes, but part of me is like, "You are so stupid. I can't believe you tried to kill yourself."

How do you make sense of all this stuff? And how do I act towards her once she gets out?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Best friend attempted suicide yesterday - July 30th 2009, 08:26 PM

I'm sorry you had to go through so much, you know we're all here for you.

Firstly, I think you should give yourself a break. You've been through a lot. Secondly, congratulate yourself on getting your friend to the hospital and the fact that she's ok.

I think you should talk to her. Tell her exactly what you think.
Even though I'm sure she'll accuse you of being a hypocrite, you can show her what it's like from your side, from when you get past the suicide and the darkest time of depression. Help her to see the light at the end of the tunnle, help her use this as a turning point.

Be her friend. Be truthful and honest (to yourself and her) but first and foremost, be her friend.

I hope this helps.

Raptor!


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Best friend attempted suicide yesterday - July 31st 2009, 12:40 AM

I'm glad that you are out of the habit you once were in.
but since you were in her place at once, i think you need to go easy on her.
i mean... your best friend tried committing suicide.
her coming out of the hospital and having her best friend tell her how "stupid" she is?
that's not going to help her.
it's going to make her feel like she's useless and a disappoinment to you.
you can tell her it hurt you, you can tell her you care,
but she's not going to want to hear she's stupid and dumb for trying to killing herself.
because that might make her try again because she'll think she upset you.
a best friend doesn't want to upset their best friend.
it makes them feel horrible.
are you trying to make her feel horrible after getting out of the hospital?
especially for atempted suicide.
obviously she has enough on her mind.
a best friend telling her she's stupid is not going to help at all.


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Re: Best friend attempted suicide yesterday - August 1st 2009, 01:26 AM

Hey Jordan,

Your friend is lucky to have you because you know what it's like. You've been there and can empathize with her - she most likely needs someone who understands right now. Keep that in mind. She doesn't need someone to tell her she's stupid, she needs to feel like she's going to be okay and cared about. She needs you to show her you care and support her.

Because you've been where she was, try to relate with her. Wasn't there a point where you felt very badly about continuing? You might not have went to this extent, but she has. It's not the best solution - I agree. It isn't even a solution at all. But it's not stupid to want to stop the pain. That's how it makes sense. Eventually we get so overwhelmed that we believe there isn't anything left. We believe the only solution to all the things we're feeling is to end the problems. Try and understand from her point of view- there might be a lot you don't know.

When talking to her, be yourself. Be kind and gentle and let her know you believe her. Let her know you don't think she's crazy and you believe she can get better. Remember, she did call you. Which means she didn't give up when she could have. That's a good thing. Reach out to her and let her know that calling you was a good idea. This is an important time for her right now and she's going to need all the support people can give. Good luck and I hope all of it turns out okay. Take care.

Have hope,
-Melissa


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