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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Ella.x Offline
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I cant do it - July 30th 2009, 08:30 PM

My friends invited themselves round tomorrow night because my family are going on holiday. I just want everyone to go away so I can kill myself. I can't stand being like this anymore. I hate myself so much. All I want to do is die. There is no point in trying anymore. I fail at everything. I don't deserve to be happy.I cut myself again. I need the blood. I need to hurt. I'm a stupid fat bitch. No-one cares about me. I have to die.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - July 30th 2009, 08:42 PM

you are not stupid or fat and you deffinatly not a bitch.
you need to calm down.
do your friends know? is so maybe thats why they want to be around.
if they dont you should tell them have them help you.
having your friends around can help put you in an uplifting mood.
try and have fun with them.
killing yourself isnt an option, you have a fullfilling life to live.
and lots of people care...your friends..family... i care.
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - July 30th 2009, 08:42 PM

Hi, Ella. You must be having some problems, but I know that suicide isn't the solution. You can't take back that decision once you've made it, no matter what. I'm sorry for what you're going though, you can always talk to me if you need to.

Try having some fun with these friends of yours. You do deserve to have fun, and you're not worthless in any sense of the word. You are no less of a person than anyone else, and you don't deserve the pain you're inflicting on yourself either. You're so much more valuable than you give yourself credit for. You're a better person than you think you are, and I hope you'll choose life instead of making that final decision.


If at first you don't succeed, try try again. If you still don't succeed, redefine success.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


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Re: I cant do it - July 30th 2009, 08:44 PM

I have been feeling the same way about myself and life since I was 13... It's so hard to explain. I've never really tried to before... I'm so scared of myself. Sometimes I'm fine, I can look at myself and logically know I'm gorgeous, smart, with a great future ahead of her... and then most of the time all I want to do is hurt myself, or die. I'm on medication, I've been seeing a psychologist for years... I just can't shake the feeling that life should be more than this.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - August 1st 2009, 08:15 AM

My friends just left. My house is a mess. They just use me. Sex. Money. Alcohol. They don't care about me. They only talk to me when they want something.

All I can think about is suicide. I'm so sick of feeling like this. I can't cope anymore. My anti-depressants aren't working. I don't know what to do.

I can't think anymore. I can't read. I can't write. I had to stop driving because I have so much trouble concentrating. I just want it all to end.
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 02:32 AM

Ella,
Suicide is not the answer.. I understand your going through some rough time, no I'm not sure what all is going on. If you'd like you can PM me and maybe i can help you more. But all Suicide will do is take you away from the world and the special guy that is out there JUST FOR YOU. It also will REALLY hurt your parents and family.. Like i said PM me ANYTIME, i try and check this every evening once i get home from work..
J
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 03:07 AM

Hey Ella,

*hugs*

I'm sorry that your friends are so horridly ignorant of how amazing you are, since they're not treating you with the respect that you most definitely deserve. But suicide also definitely isn't the answer. There will be people out there who will like you and hang out with you and care desperately for you - just for you. Just because of who you are. Just because they see you for you and are appropriately awe-struck.

Hang in there. PM me anytime.


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dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 03:43 AM

Hey Ella,

I am so sorry you are feeling this way but please know you can get through this; it might take time but you can overcome this horrible feeling. Ella, suicide is not a solution because this will pass; suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Please talk to your doctor about your anti-depressants not working because he/she can help you figure something out. I know sometimes it seems like doctors and medicine and all that really doesn't work but doctors can only help you if you tell them everything. If your doctor doesn't know that the medicine isn't working then you need to talk to them and make them see. Do you think you could do that?

Ella, I was wondering if you have someone to talk too? A therapist would be a great idea and they can really help out. I know it is scary to talk to someone about all the problems and feelings that you are having but in the end it really can be worth it.

Treatment can take time to work so please don't give up on it. Talk to your doctors and keep on going because in the end you will start feeling better.

As for your friends; I am sorry that they treat you this way and I want you to know that you do not deserve that treatment. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

I was wondering if maybe it would be a good idea for you to take a step back from your friends. Sometimes it helps to get away from the people who are not treating us the greatest because it allows us to get some new perspective and it allows us to get a rest from it all. Do you think you could try that? Maybe you could tell your friends you are busy when they call or be straight with them and tell them you need a little break for a bit.

Also, maybe you should try talking to your friends(when you feel up to it) and letting them know how you feel about everything. Maybe they don't realize that you feel this way; as much as it sucks sometimes we have to tell people 'I think you are taking advantage of me' to really make them see what they are doing.

Ella please hang in there and if you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 04:55 AM

hey ella.

i understand that you're going through a lot. but the thing to remember is that once the suffering is over, and you finally overcome everything thats plagueing you right now, only happiness will be left. i support what everyone else has said, and i second that you will definitely find better friends who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.. as a real friend, and that will make all the suffering go away eventually.

and besides that, you just have to remember that we're always around to talk to whenever you need someone to listen to you.. or anytime, about anything at all

i know everything's gonna get better.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 11:56 AM

I've got a doctors appointment next thursday so I think I'll tell her that my anti-depressants aren't working and that I've been self harming again. I don't really know what else to do. I feel so trapped. I need to sort myself out before I try to kill myself again though. I can feel myself slipping. I'm almost as bad as when I tried to kill myself last time. I can't stay like this forever.
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 02:09 PM

it's good that you are trying to get help, this shows that you don't really want to die. sometimes things are so hard for us, that we can't think of any way to make it through them other than to just end it. but things will get better. you can take new antidepressants which will help with the suicidal thoughts and the urges to self harm. once you're feeling better, you can realize that people do care for you, and want you to live. i mean, just look at all the people who have responded to this post! they all want you to live. so get some help, and things will be looking up soon. PM me if you ever need or want to.
~SuburbanTiger7
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 11:01 PM

i hate myself. i need to die. cant do it. i went round my friends house. we had sex. then he was a dick so i left and now i dont know what to do. I just want to die
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 5th 2009, 11:35 PM

dude, your friends sound like total assholes. stop hanging out with them. suiside is so not the answer. you sound like you need an actual friend. iv felt the same way you do many many times. probly not as sever as you, but none the less iv been in a similar spot. email me anytime at totallytwirly@hotmail.com
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 6th 2009, 03:16 AM

Hey Ella,

*hugs*

take a deep breath, hun. Don't hate yourself for that. Don't hate yourself at all. People make mistakes or do things that they don't like later. It just happens in life. But it's okay to move on from what happened. You're an amazing person, and you deserve to get to be happy.

Hang in there, and take care of yourself. PM me anytime <3


Drown in the music,
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block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I cant do it - August 6th 2009, 06:30 AM

same here, remember you can always to talk to me, and the rest of us too

maybe you can take some time.. sort out the feelings.. and then afterwards try to focus on whats most important to you. i know that is true happiness, and we're going to help you get it.

we're all in this togetherrrrrrrr.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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