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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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hopefaithlove Offline
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Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 12:53 AM

I am depressed again. Not even just a little depressed, but full on depressed. I feel sooo alone. And people can tell me I'm not alone, but I REALLY feel it. I have very few friends and have seen only one of them this summer. I miss all my friends, but they all are spending summer at the beach. I'm so alone. I'm so depressed. I'm having horrible, horrible thoughts again. I'm either starving myself or bingeing, it just depends on my mood. And I've been having very strong urges to cut and attempt again.

There's so much going on. I can't get into chat because my computer is being ridiculous. I need someone. I need help. I can't do this anymore.


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
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Prozac Offline
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 01:13 AM

Hey there Kac,

It seems like you're feeling pretty low right now and that's no fun.

I'm sorry that you're feeling so alone but it is just a feeling (a really awful one at that) because you are not alone. You know what I like most about feelings? That they're not permanent. They can change all the time. Plus, you can at least try to be in control of some of the changes in your feelings. I know it's not as simple as clicking your fingers and saying 'make me happy', but doing small, regular things that are just for you, things that you enjoy and give you pleasure can make a lot of difference, so I'd recommend that you do try and please yourself with something that you enjoy. Could you perhaps go out with some of your friends? You could try and give one of them a call sometime. It may be nice for you to at least just talk to them, even if you can't go to the beach.

Harming yourself further isn't going to help anything in the long run, Kac, and I would really like to discourage you from hurting yourself and rather encourage you to look into alternative distractions - other coping methods that you can try out that could help you. The alternatives thread is [here] and I would like you to check it out. If you don't like one alternative, try another then another. The urges can and will fade eventually, Kac.

As I have already said, you are not alone. You are never alone. There are so many people who are willing to help you and talk to you right now. If you are having strong urges to 'attempt' then I would really like you to try and talk to someone. There is a list of people you could talk to (including hotlines) [here]. If you're not feeling strong enough to talk, even just sitting with someone or writing a note letting someone know how you're feeling is enough.

We're all here for you.
Take care.
   
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 01:59 AM

I can't do this I'm losing again. I don't know where my sanity went. I'm hurting so bad and home alone and frustrated. I wanna do something. I don't wanna be here. There are so many people I could be with in heaven. I'm losing and I'm a coward. The pain is too much.


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 03:38 AM

Hun, I don't want you to think like that. There are so many people here who I want you to be. Like me and so many other people. I know it is a sucky time. I have been there and so have many other people. Think of all this as an obstacle. Something you need to fight against. SHing is not allowed. It won't fix anything and it just doesn't help the situation. You know you are cared about a lot. To me and many other people on this site. You are going through a hard time which is understandable. Just know that you have myself and many other people to talk to.

Oh, I know we promised to talk...you have my number, use it if you feel like letting go. Even if it is like 4 in the morning. You call me and talk.

Love you girl. I am here...always!!


"We accept the love we think we deserve."
"In that moment, I swear, we were Infinite."
"There's an I in Illness
and a We in Wellness."
   
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hopefaithlove Offline
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 05:11 AM

Thanks Briana.

It's so hard. I'm hurting so bad. BLAH. I hate ME.


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Katrina Offline
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 2nd 2009, 02:14 PM

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, Kac.

We talked about this very briefly in the chat room last night, but I wish there was more I could say that would fix your situation - you definitely don't deserve to be stuck in such a rut with all of this. Have you considered taking a "you day"? Sure, it would take some effort, but I think it'd be nice if you went to the park for a few hours, set out your blanket, and just read. Or napped. Or whatever. Anywhere that you'd be able to breathe nice, fresh outdoor air would work - I sometimes do this when I feel as though I'm mentally suffocating in my own home. It's ridiculous how many wonders it works for me, so I hope that it'll do the same for you. [:

I know you feel as though everything stinks right now, since all your friends are away and you're stuck at home, but you should totally cherish this time before you're off to college! I have to keep reminding myself that as much as I do want to go to college, I also am not quite ready to be back in school because I know I'll miss summer heaps. I adore summer. [: Kac, no matter what you're doing - whether you're in school or it's the summer time - there are going to be positives, and there are unfortunately going to be negatives. Just try to make the best of the positives. You know what they say, we only have one life to live, but a million different ways to live it. [: So, while you're still young [eighteen, and life to go, to quote the popular eighties rock song], just try to live. Forget your worries every once in a while and just breathe. [:

I hope that things shape up for you soon, Kac.



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hopefaithlove Offline
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Re: Depressed again. And suicidal. - August 4th 2009, 04:50 AM

Thanks Katrina, I appreciate the post. I ended up going to visit one of my friends yesterday, and hanging out with two of them tonight so it was exciting and helpful!


There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
   
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