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Vynloria Offline
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Name: Steven
Age: 27
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Join Date: July 24th 2009

Lost? Numb? *insert other*? - August 3rd 2009, 09:43 AM

Well, I honestly haven't got a clue any more.

A friend of mine passed away early last month after he fell down a staircase at school. He hit the back of his head during the fall and later suffered a seizure in hospital which in turn cut off the oxygen supply to his brain. A few days later, he was pronounced brain-dead. I was shocked to hear of his death. I've been in shock until today when it hit me that I'd never see him again. It was a raw wound which kept getting opened and opened as the news was repeated in every one of my classes today, for the school wished for everyone to know.

To add salt to the wound, I got my exam results back. Bad in music theory, bad in science and horrible in maths, failing one of the units. It brought on the realisation of how slack and lazy I am, how incapable I am of doing anything right. I understand the concepts involved with my work, but I can never when under pressure prove it. Then there's the four or five assignments that are over due or due in very short time periods because I have yet again, failed at managing my time. There's other things, but they are a little too personal to post...

I've always been one to get distracted from the task. I'm just sick of college. I want to quit. I want to quit everything. I just want to curl up and hope that it all goes away. I'm too weak to face it. I'm just too fucking weak to deal with my own problems. Hell, they aren't even that major and here I am all depressed, whining. I'm just too weak.
   
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CherriesBlossom Offline
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Re: Lost? Numb? *insert other*? - August 3rd 2009, 07:03 PM

hey there steven.
im sorry your dealing with alot.
you arent weak at all.
everyone takes thing differently
and it seems like you have a lot of stressful things to deal with all at once.

im sorry to hear about your friend. when something like that shocks you
it is hard to cope with and a way you can deal with it, is maybe writing your
feelings down about it.

college is difficult to deal with in general not to mention exams.
its perfectly normal to now have amazing scores, this just tells you for the future
you need to study a little bit harder. try not to feel bad about it. it happens.

try to not get overwhlemed, we are all here for you.
good luck<3
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