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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Life - August 3rd 2009, 08:56 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

this is the best place i can find to post this. so recently its felt like everythings wrong, im feeling depressed alot of the time, im wanting to cut more and more. my dads gone back to his old ways pushing me, pulling me around, poking me, grabbing me, twisting my arms, shouting at me making me cry, he started doing this in front of my younger sisters, hes drinking more and more, im drinking more and more even today i bought some alcohol in town and was drinking it in town. i dont no who i am, i feel like ive lost the real me, the real me is distant, i dont no what to do everythings wrong, im scared, im not sleeping well. i just dont no, somedays i just wana die, other days i wana live. ive tried everything, ive had counselling it has not worked, i think its made me worse, im having nightmares agian, im off the rails i just wana get drunk, watch tv, go on my laptop, cut, then sleep and wake up to do that same the next day thats what i wana do. im fed up of my dad, im scared of him, my sister is scared of him. and today i've annoyed him and dont no what i've what done ive hardly spoke to him i said hi to him and thats all ive said and ive annoyed him., even when im not talking to him he says i annoy him its hard when i ahve a friend round today my friend came back to mine and i was just talking to my friend and he got annoyed with me for talking to my friend. i just dont no what to do., i have lost the real me, i dont feel me, i dont no what i feel well in a way i do i feel depressed. apart from that i really feel much. i just dont no, i feel like giving up and just getting drunk each day. i just dont know. i think im going off the rails, i explode and the tinyiest things, im not me i dont no who i am im a mess i just dont know. even today i was drinking, at about 5pm its not normal i just constantly want to get drunk.
   
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Re: Life - August 3rd 2009, 09:21 PM

sweetie i am so sorry.
im sorry that your dad is pushing you around like that, it isnt right.
but listen to me, dont follow in his footsteps, drinking isnt going to help you.
is there anyway he would go into consuling or aaa?
that might set him right and see that he has abusive to you.


im sorry you feel depressed and self destructive but you can make your life better
you dont have to be a victim of your depression. even though you have been consuled, maybe they werent the right person for you. you should try and get some help.

ive beent here and what has helped me get through it all is talking to friends and surrounding myself with uplifting people so getting better again was close.

you arent a mess your just struggeling.
keep your head up.
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: Life - August 5th 2009, 05:00 AM

hey.

i understand that you're going through a lot. and the thing is you totally do not deserve to go through all this, at all. i'm sure you agree with me. and the thing is i'm sure that your dad is, just, really deep inside, struggling with issues of his own which is preventing him from the sweet caring dad that he really , and truly is deep inside. you HAVE to bring that side out of him.. once love is restored, i see everything getting better, literally.

and you know, whenever you need to talk about anything, or everything you can talk to us. alcohol is only a temporary escape .. the real thing is when you know that there's people around to listen and comfort you, beats everything else i know i'm going to listen to you, so will a whole lot of people out there, and here


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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Re: Life - August 8th 2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:
i understand that you're going through a lot. and the thing is you totally do not deserve to go through all this, at all. i'm sure you agree with me. and the thing is i'm sure that your dad is, just, really deep inside, struggling with issues of his own which is preventing him from the sweet caring dad that he really , and truly is deep inside. you HAVE to bring that side out of him.. once love is restored, i see everything getting better, literally.
So true darrenboy.
My recommedations are Byron katie's the work - check out her website or youtube - it's only 4 questions!! Sending you the biggest hugs!!!!!!
   
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