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What should I do?! - August 4th 2009, 11:53 PM

I have a friend who has a lot of problems but will only talk about certain things with me. She only talks to one other person and he is never there for her when she needs him and he never does what he says he will. She refuses to see a counselor or a doctor, her parents don't believe that there is anything wrong with her. She denies that anything I do can help her and I know that if she lets me I can help.

I love her to death want to help her and give her the hope she needs but she won't let me talk to her about very much. I am worried about her and I know that she says she wants me to leave it alone but she goes around and complains that no one can help her because no one understands.

What should I do to help her? Is there something I can say or do that I am not already doing?
   
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Re: What should I do?! - August 5th 2009, 12:41 AM

hey there and welcome to teenhelp (:

im sorry you friend is having problems, i think you should try and get her to tell her exactly whats wrong and ask her how you can help.

if she doesnt want to tell you though and you believe that she could be headed for real trouble, you need to tell a consulor or a trusted adult so they can get her the help she need.

if you do this though she will be mad and maybe in feel like you betrayed her but in the end she will get better and will end up thanking you.

hope you find a way to help her
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Re: What should I do?! - August 5th 2009, 01:44 AM

Hello and welcome to TeenHelp! I'm sorry you are having such a hard time trying to talk to your friend. It's great that you are taking the steps to help her! First of all, I would tell her that you want to understand what's going on so you can help. You can let her know she is not the only one going through this and there are many others who can help her. If you are still very concerned about her I agree with Katie, you should tell a trusted adult. Tell her you want to do your best to help her but you cannot unless you know what's going on. Good luck with your friend and PM me if you need anything!


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Re: What should I do?! - August 5th 2009, 03:07 AM

Hey there,

I think it is great that you want to be there for your friend; I also know how hard it is to see someone that you care for suffer.

I think the first thing you should do is go to her and explain to her that you really want to understand and you want to be there for her. Let her know that you will be there for her no matter what and let her know how much you care about her. In the end knowing that someone cares really can help.

If talking to her about it will be too hard or you feel like she won't really listen maybe you could write her a heart felt letter. Depending on the person sometimes a letter can work best.

Lastly, and I know this will suck, if she tells you to back off then you should. If you come on too strong she might end up pushing you away so if talking to her this last time doesn't work then back off for a little bit but still let her know that you are there for her. I have a friend that doesn't like to talk so I just let her know I am there to listen to her whenever. The next time you talk to your friend maybe you could say "Remember I am here to talk if you ever want" and then leave it alone.

I hope that this was helpful and if you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: What should I do?! - August 5th 2009, 03:14 AM

I appreciate all of your help. Thank you so much. I will try it and see what happens. I hope it works. I am referring her to TH tonight.

You have all been very helpful and very kind. Thank you!

Paige
   
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Re: What should I do?! - August 7th 2009, 01:09 AM

Thats awesome Paige! You are a great friend for taking the right steps to getting her help! I'm glad this is working out for the better.


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