Triggering (Suicide): i wunt to end it

[xyzman]

im faling apart its ben forever and i cant take it eny mor cutting dusint help the way it did befor i see no end to this pain nuthing helps iv tryed every thang nothing nothing at all has worked i wunt to end it end the pain end it all i cant do this im so angry and deprest i hat myself and wunt to run away but im trapt trapt with who i am a monster a looser a Fu** up iv started a new life but it brot me no ware at all im still stuk in the same spot that i hav ben for all this time im drawnding and no one is thar to save me im falling and hav no parishut im burning and thars no water araund im asuficating in this world and i dont know wut to do

plees if eny one can help post or pm me plees

[dancer]

Hi DK,

*hugs*

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down right now! But please don't hurt yourself - self-harming isn't the answer, and neither is suicide. I know how it can feel like things are just crashing down, but you can get them back up to where they should be. It's not impossible. You can be okay.

What's got ya upset?

Hang in there.

[xyzman]

me who i am who i love wut im afrad of and wut honts me frum my past i cant do it

[dancer]

Take a deep breath. Yes you can do this. I know that you've been through a lot, and that you've got a lot of different attachments to deal with right now.

But who you are - you're a pretty good person, DK. People aren't defined by past mistakes they've made. It's okay to move on from them, to learn from whatever they were and realize that learning from them actually makes you a better person, not anything lesser for having made them.

And have you tried talking to your doctor or a counselor recently about how you've been feeling? They can help you in sorting out all that's going on, too.

Hang in there

[xyzman]

no i dont trust them i dont trust eny one no one knows me eny mor i dont evin know me

[dancer]

I don't think we're ever supposed to completely know who we are. Life is about finding that out, and on deciding it. You get to be who you decide to be - how you act, what you say, what you like, what you don't like, what you hope for, what you're afraid of - all those are partially what make up who you are.

Why don't you trust them? They wouldn't be judgmental.

[xyzman]

idk i ges its becus i dont evin trust myself.

and i hat the persin i am becuming the thangs that run thru my heed the sik and twistid thangs that i wunt to do its not the persin i wus its not the persin i wunt to be im terning in to a monster i cant look at myself the same i dont see me i dont see the determinashin i had in my eys its gon all thats left is this dark nes thats persing deper and deper in my sool and the pain it brengs is tarifying

[dancer]

*hugs*

Sometimes it can be hard to trust ourselves. But you can back your own trust. Starting by at least accepting other's help in doing that can help doing so not feel so overwhelming. That determination that you used to have, it's awesome that you did have it! You can get it back; try reminding yourself of it - why you were determined, what helped you hold on to it. Be determined to be determined

If you don't like who you are, it's possible to change that. But it's important to look for things that you do like about yourself, too. Try starting off with something small, and build from there. Remind yourself that even if there are things you want to change, there are still really awesome things about you, too.

[AshtrayHeart]

Hey, please dont hurt yourself that wont make anything better in the long run and nothing is worth killing yourself over.
it will get better, not over night might take a month or more, it took me over year but hang on in there, it gets better and i promise it will for you.
PM me if you like?