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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Charisma Offline
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Angry Stressed a bit, alittle depressed :/ - August 7th 2009, 08:36 AM

Hi guys. I'm new/kinda not. I've browsed TH many times for the answers of my problems, and a lot have helped me.

I'm feeling a bit depressed, though. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I guess it's just stress.

First, ever since my younger years I've lived with my Great Grandparents, because my mom never could afford me, and my dad just didn't care. [I've seen him 3 times out of the 16 years I've lived.] My grandparents spoiled me when I was younger, but around age 13, they treated me different because I was a Teenager. Apparently people 13-19 have no thought process once-so-ever in their eyes, and are pathetic and useless. So we began to fight a lot, because I kept getting hurt and put down.

In middle school, I went to a private baptist school, and became friends with a Sophomore. [I've always hung with the older crowd.] She wasn't the best influence, considering she was always depressed all the time. I'd explain to her what was going on at home, but got spat in the face with her life situations and how her mix-up was worse. I basically felt pathetic, like I was suddenly forced through a continuous state of depression. That led to cutting. :/

Now I'm in High school, I've overcome my cutting, and major depression, which has helped a lot. Though recently my grandparents half kicked me out/half my decision [We got in a fight, which ended up in them saying something about my mom paying for some school uniforms I needed, which made me snap.[Around 8th grade, my mom and my relationship have been forced to be a best friend-type thing in order to support each other. We don't really trust anyone in our family.]] I'm moving in with my mom, who doesn't make much money to support herself. She literally makes 400 dollars every 2 weeks, and half of that goes to bills [recently she signed for food stamps, maybe that will help?.] the other half goes to groceries, gas, and her cig. habits. My plan was to get a part-time job to pay for my car insurance, a cell phone, and groceries. I like knowing I have a responsibility, but I just feel so pathetic and useless. I'm a person who plans ahead, and it's like this one time I just go blank.

I hear the people at school talk about their boyfriends/girlfriends, what they're gonna do this weekend, fights with their parents, etc.

And when I look at me, I'm single, unhappy, I feel alone, and I'm forced to not have the mother-daughter relationship with my mom that I never really had ever in the 16 years I've lived. Sometimes I wonder, if I die, would it make a difference? Would my Mom be really the only person to realize I was gone?

I don't know :/ I'm just really stressed out I guess. I don't want to be a complainer.


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Re: Stressed a bit, alittle depressed :/ - August 7th 2009, 09:10 AM

There is alot happining at once in your life at the moment. And yes stress is something normal when the world spinning out of control and you dont know which way to go.

You must move bricks one at a time, or the weight of the pile will overcome you.

A saying i have used before, it means that if you try sort it all at once it will overcome you. But if you sort one bit at a time it will become easier. You should take a moment to yourself and ask.
What one thing could I do to make me happy?
Make sure you pick the one thing you want most, and go for it.
Some like to be productive, so the job may help. Others may want to be social, so go out and meet people/friends. Theres lots you can do, just dont take on too much.

Also its good to talk to someone and let your emotions out, helps the stress not build up. So either talk to your mum or if not find some one completly neautral to hear you out. Just getting stuff off your chest can help. Unfortuantly the person you opened up to before did not really listen. And that did not help really.

But this is your life and its time to become what you want it to be.
Look forward, and learn from whats happened behind


Im always willing to listen and answer questions, so if you got something on your chest, lets talk about it already...
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Re: Stressed a bit, alittle depressed :/ - August 8th 2009, 05:52 AM

Hey there,

welcome (kinda ) to TH. I hope that we can keep helping you!

How you feel is perfectly valid. You have a lot to deal with, so feeling down besides normal stress is perfectly understandable. You're not complaining (and even if you were that would have been okay, too), and you're definitely not pathetic or useless. To me, you seem like a really thoughtful, hard-working, caring person who deserves to be reminded that she is all those things and that no one else can ever hope to be her. So quite a lot of people need you to stick around. And you deserve to hang in there for yourself, too. You won't always have to deal with everything that's going on, because it'll sort itself out while you're still in it, or because it'll eventually work out after you've had the chance to get away from it some.

I've noticed that some adults do treat kids differently just because their age changes, rather than their personality. I'm so sorry that you were put down. You deserve to be treated with respect just as much as your grandparents do. And it's great that you and your mom are friends, but I definitely understand wanting that parent-child relationship, too. Would it be possible to talk to your mom at all about that, let her know that you're glad that you two are friends, but that you also need her help in life as a mother, too?

I'm sorry that you're feeling alone. I know how much that sucks. Are there any clubs at your school you could look into joining, or sports teams you could try doing? Things like that can help with making friendships and sometimes more-than-friendships. And in the mean time, we're always here to lend an ear

I know this can be weird to hear, but you first have a responsibility to yourself. In the midst of everything that's going on, what sort of plan can you make to take care of yourself, to do things to be good to yourself? Not to try to fix what's going on, to help out someone else, or something like that. What can you do totally for you?

And as for everything else, is there a counselor at your school you could try talking to? They're good just to go to in order to just talk about things, but they can also help out with family situations, dealing with financial complicatedness, stuff like that.

Hang in there. Feel free to PM me anytime


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dance in the rain,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Stressed a bit, alittle depressed :/ - August 8th 2009, 06:24 AM

Hey,

It really sucks that you're feeling this way, it doesnt sound fun at all.

First of all, many people will notice if you were dead, much further then your mother. Your grandparents for starters would be shattered. Also, it will affect many peope at school that you had never dreamed it would. I've seen suicide badly affect people who didnt even know the person that well, it truely is shocking.

It is extremely good of you to want to get a part time job to help your mother. More then most teenagers think of, frankly. I know it seems hard to look at everyone else and know a lot of them don't have to worry about the things you do. And, if I may say so, you shouldn't have to worry about paying the bills and affording food while you live with your parents. I truely am sorry that you have to, but you seem to be handling it very well!

Keep your head up my friend, I promise you that things will get better eventually. Just keep strong, and good luck.

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Re: Stressed a bit, alittle depressed :/ - August 8th 2009, 06:49 AM

Hey,

I'm sorry to hear about all this stuff you are going through but please know that it will be okay.

I don't think you are pathetic or useless at all; it sounds to me that you are a very thoughtful and caring individual. I know it might not seem like it at the moment but if you were to not be around anymore I am sure there are people would care a lot (your mom and grandparents for starters). Although your grandparents have started to treat you differently that doesn't mean they don't care; sadly, people become frigtened of teeneagers because they are afraid that they are going to get hurt. It is definitely irrational but it happens. Maybe that is what happened with your grandparents.

I was wondering if there is anyone you could talk to about this? A trusted adult or a counselor at your school? Although talking can be really hard it can be extremely helpful as well; it always helps to get all these feelings of your chest. If you don't think there is anyone you can talk to in real life then come on here and chat and pm as many people as necessary.

I am sorry you are feeling so alone but you won't always feel that way; high school can be a very difficult time for people but try looking past high school to college and so on(that used to help me).

As for friends; if you want to meet people or what not is there any way for you to join a club at your school? I know joining clubs helped me make friends with people.

Lastly, I wanted to congratualate you on getting passed the cutting; that is a great accomplishment and you should pat yourself on the back. Quitting takes a lot of strenght and it is not an easy thing to do.

Please hang in there because things will get better and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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