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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
JenniferxMarie Offline
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Name: Jenn
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Location: Upper Michigan

Posts: 181
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Join Date: February 13th 2009

Arrow I don't know how to say I need help anymore - August 9th 2009, 07:46 PM

I don't know what happy is.
I don't know how to be a normal teen.
I can't think of myself as pretty anymore, I cry if pants don't fit.
I can't lose the weight I have to lose to be healthy again.
I don't know how to remember things, or be the daughter my mother wanted.
Everytime I go to the doctors I lie, and I think thats why they can't help me cause I don't want them to see me as I really am
"Do you drink?" "No" when I am wanting to say yes
"Do you smoke?" "no" when I want to say yes, everyday
"do you do drugs?" "no" when I really wish I could say always

I want to ask my mom to make me a another appointment with a conceler but I dont know how because this time I am kind of willing to get help I want to feel better I want to be nicer, I want to be okay and normal and not ruining my life and feeling horrible all the time. But, I dont know how to open up to a stranger because I always fear they will say something or do something and I dont want to end up in a hospital or rehab. so I lie.

Jennifer Marie
"learn how to apologize, learn how to say
'i love you' to someone other than your cat
and mean it, learn how to express yourself,
learn how to smile a "fuck you"
regardless of the outdated traditions,
the talentless critics or what is fashionable or give up."

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Faye. Offline
maybe this time...
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I don't know how to say I need help anymore - August 9th 2009, 08:12 PM

Hi Jenn,

It seems your feeling trapped by this facade of being 'okay'. It can be hard to admit how we really feel and what we really do for fear of how people might react or because it makes things real and you can't pretend anymore, but sometimes it's a really important thing to do.

I'm really glad that you want to get help because that's a really important step in gaining control of everything again. Opening up to a counsellor or doctor etc. does not mean that you'll be sent to hospital/rehab. Only in exceptional circumstances will a doctor decide you need hospitalisation on your first meeting. I would try not to let these fears stop you getting the help you want.

You say you don't know what happy is like anymore. Maybe you could try teach yourself it again? Watch funny films, invite friends over, do all the things that always used to make you happy. Try to find that little bit of joy in life, even if its only smiling while listening to your favourite song.

It is hard to admit you need help. Is there anyone you could get to help approach your mum about the subject? It can be helpful to have a third party in these situations. It takes a lot of courage to reach out but I assure you in the long run you will not regret it.

PM me if you want to talk,

Feel free to PM me

We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever
-Carl Sagan

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
SimplyComplex Offline
SimplyComplex :)
I've been here a while
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Location: Canadaland

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Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: I don't know how to say I need help anymore - August 10th 2009, 12:07 AM

Hey Jen,

An important step to actually getting better is wanting to. It's knowing your goal and realizing that actions are needed to get there. In my eyes, you're taking that step. Even if you're not going all the way yet, each step helps. You're here asking for help and that shows me you haven't given up and I praise you for that. Don't ever give up. Whatever you do, giving up won't get you anywhere you want to be. Also, don't stop wanting to get anywhere. As long as you want to be somewhere better, it's more than possible to happen. I believe in you, and I think it's time you start believing too. Because the only thing you ever need to go anywhere is yourself. You are all you need to make a difference in your life.

We are all different, and there is no normal for being a teen. We each have our own lives and are used to our own accomadations. So normal is what you want it to be. I think there is a point in life where you need to look at yourself as perfect the way you are. We all have faults, but put together with the good things we are too makes a very wonderful person. We have our hardships, but you wouldn't be the wonderful person you are today without them. Life isn't about changing to make other people happy, it's about learning to accept yourself and think of yourself as beautiful no matter what the world thinks. Because you are beautiful the way no one else can be. And you are perfect the way you are, no matter what your mom wants or anyone else. The best people in your life will accept you for you, and no one else.

As for losing the weight, I'm all for doing this to be healthy. But that needs to be the goal. Healthy, not because you think it will make you prettier. Because you already are. Try being positive and start with picking healthy foods over high fat foods. It can be that simple and really give you a motivational boost too. Also it can improve your overall thoughts of yourself. Talk to your doctor and they can give you more tips too. But happy doesn't come with thin bodies. It comes with acceptance. I know I'm saying that a lot, but I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it.

The bottom line to getting help is being honest. No one can ever help you if you're not honest with them and yourself. You don't need to tell them everything, but it's a good idea to start small and work your way up to feeling more comfortable. Try it and see how you feel. And if it does lead to you being in rehab and such, than is it really so bad if nothing else works and this helps? You can't say nothing works until you try everything. Trying is the biggest part to healing. If you need anything at all, remember to PM me anytime. Take care of yourself. You are special.

Have hope,

01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
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