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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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RoxyGirl Offline
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Done - August 12th 2009, 01:24 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

What is up with life. I go to therapy every week and on medication. NOTHING is helping. I have D.I.D. Dissocative something. I hate it. I love my boyfriend. But he is getting Frustrated with me and i am too(with Me). There isn't one night that doesn't go by that isn't ruined by flashbacks or my DID . I took (too many) 5 mg valum on an empty stomach . i was hoping i was going sleep and never wake up but i knewn that was to good to be true. I don't have access to anything. I think i am going to hang myself. All the med all put up because he worrys and doesn't trust my alters because one is suicidal too. Maybe that is why i am hearing all these thoughts about killing myself . I am usually really strong and have dealt with this for a long time. but last night my Boyfriend got frustrated cause he was trying to have sex with me and i never started anything. So he went and masterbated. but I FELT like SH*t. I just wanted to die . I make everyone around me missable. I make other people life living hell. He doesn't even knew I took all those meds . I don't plan on telling him, I once almost succeded and my heart stop beating . I want that to happen infinately. and not start again. I am not a afraid dieing. I am done with god . Where was he when I start getting a abused by my dad at 4 and never stopped until i was 16. WHAT THE CRAP. How am i supposed to believe that. NO and things don't happen for a reason. EXcept for me to end my life. I am So Sorry that i brought my daughter in this world and now she is going to be so F***ed up if i stay around and if a killmyself ... so whats the difference. My boyfriend and bestfriend are the onyl people i have. My mom is gone and her parents. THere is nothing left of my life ... Yea i am here maybe i will get better but MOSTLY NOT. and whats life when you don't care and there is not quality in IT.... It isn't worth living for.





Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes


PHILIPPIANS 2:15 Then you will be innocent and without any wrong. You will be Gods children without fault. But you are living with crooked and mean people all around you, among whom you shine like stars in the dark world.

Last edited by SimplyComplex; August 12th 2009 at 02:03 PM. Reason: Editing out not needed information.
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CherriesBlossom Offline
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Re: Done - August 12th 2009, 02:49 PM

im sorry you feel this way
but suicide isnt the way out neither is taking pills.
i think you need to tell your boyfriend exactly whats going on and how you feel
in order for him to understand and not get so frustrated with you. he is your support system and he can help you if you tell him whats going on.

i think you need to tell your therapist about the voice telling you to kill yourself
that isnt healthy and if you medication isnt working he needs to know.


there is alot for you left in life. your boyfriend who cares about you and your bestfriend, and above all your daughter. she will not be fucked up either.
im sure you will be a great mom and learn things as you go, about yourself and about parenting.

i know things are hard now, but i believe you will get better if you can simply verbalize your thoughts to the people around you.

you give your life meaning, and you can give new meaning.

hang in there, things will get better.
good luck
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Re: Done - August 12th 2009, 04:03 PM

Yea. i am so struggling, i told my boyfriend about the pills he had asked me last night if i took anything and i lied and said no. So he is upset about me lying and taking all those pills mostly hurt. But knowing that it hurts him . and i know this and i don't want to hurt him. Even when i am happy with him i still have these thoughts and hear them due too did





Even The Best Fall Down Sometimes


PHILIPPIANS 2:15 Then you will be innocent and without any wrong. You will be Gods children without fault. But you are living with crooked and mean people all around you, among whom you shine like stars in the dark world.
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CherriesBlossom Offline
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Re: Done - August 12th 2009, 06:26 PM

i think you need to tell him the truth about how you are feeling before you do something. he may be hurt but he wants to help you.

have you told your therapist about the voices?
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