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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Over It - August 14th 2009, 05:32 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I just can't keep going. I have to give in. I've tried and tried but no one REALLY cares enough to understand.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 05:44 AM

Hey Saria,

*hugs*

what's going on, hun? I'm so sorry that things are feeling overwhelming. But please don't give up - we do care, and odds are that we'll be able to understand.

You don't have to give in. I know that you're strong enough to keep going. And you have us to lean on.

Hang in there. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 05:47 AM

Everything in my life is falling apart and I have nothing to live for anymore. I can't handle everything and it is making me really sick and I just can't keep holding on.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 05:52 AM

Honey, I'm sorry that you're going through so much right now. I can definitely relate to feeling so overwhelmed it's like your drowning. But try to take a deep breath; impossible as it might seem right now, things really will be okay. When things happen, a lot of times it can feel like there's no hope of pulling things back together again. But that urgency - I promise, there is a way, and things really aren't as hopeless as they might feel.

Do you think you could share what's been going on? We'll try to help you sort through it. And I think that sometimes getting out everything that's going on can help it feel more manageable, anyway.

Hang in there, Saria. You have us, and you always have yourself to live for. You are infinitely important. Your aspirations, the things you want to do, the people you've yet to meet, the experiences you've yet to have and places yet to go, those are all worth living for, too.

Hang in there, hun.


Drown in the music,
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 05:58 AM

Alot has been going on...

Department of child protection got involved in my family and have been interveiwing me and my family

My Mother is in a mental hospital and I have take care of everything at home

I have been having massive fights with my friends and now no one will talk to me

I'm really behind with all my school work and constantly getting in trouble

And I have been rejected by everyone that ever cared about me.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:10 AM

You do have a lot to deal with right now, and feeling overwhelmed is definitely understandable. It makes sense that you'd be having a hard time.

But sweetie, please know that with everything you do have going on, it won't be impossible to deal with it all. The department of child protection - well, I can definitely understand how they would be intimidating, but they'll do whatever it is they need to do and figure out if they have any instructions or ways to help you, but in the mean time you don't have to worry about what they're going to do. It's their job to help sort things out rather than cause more complications; they just have to gauge what they're sorting out first.

I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on with your mom right now. Is there anyone like a neighbor or another relative you could ask for help from in managing things at home? Right now the hospital is taking care of your mom, so while it's obviously natural to worry about her, you don't have to worry about taking care of her. That's covered. It's important that you take care of you right now.

Is there anyone like a school counselor you could talk to? They might be able to help figure out how to help things calm down at home, help out with the friend fights, and help get school work back under control. You could also maybe try talking to your teachers, explain some of what's been going on and ask for their help in getting caught up again. Teachers are there to help students, not just be another imposition to the work involved in learning.

But I am sorry that you're fighting with friends right now. Those fights are always rough. But usually, people are able to work through their own frustration and after they've calmed down a bit see the situation more clearly and make up, and friendships are often stronger for having gotten through the rough patch.

Hang in there, Saria. I promise, there will be people in your life who will care about you desperately. And in the mean time, you have us. Because we do care about you, a lot.


Drown in the music,
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:16 AM

My Mum won't let me tell anyone where she is so I can't ask anyone for help at home and she doesn't want my school knowing anything so she doesn't want me to talk to anyone at school about anything either. She doesn't even want me to tell my teachers that I can't keep up with all the work because she thinks they will ask why. It is just so hard because she won't let me talk to anyone and says I have a counsellor out of school to talk to but my counsellor is away on holidays so I have no one to talk to at all and it is driving me crazy.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:21 AM

Saria, it is okay for you to talk to someone. You have a lot going on, and when it gets hard to deal with, it's important that you take care of you. Your mom is probably asking you not to tell anyone because of her own insecurities - but that's not fair to you. You get to do what you need to do in order to make sure that you're okay, too. If you talk to a counselor at school, they don't necessarily have to let your mom know that you talked to them, either. I think it might help to go to a teacher or counselor and explain everything that's going on, and they'll be able to help you feel better while also helping you figure out how to handle the situation. But when someone asks you something that involves not taking care of yourself, even if that person's your mother, it's okay to do differently.


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:27 AM

Its just so hard for me to go against what my Mum is saying after everything that has happened because she told me that if I never said anything in the first place that our family wouldn't be going through such a hard time and that it is all my fault. I just don't want to against what shes said again.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:31 AM

Saria, honey, what's going on with your family is no way your fault. Not all. Not even a little bit. A lot of times, it's easier for people to blame others for their situation than facing their own issues. But honey, what's happened has absolutely nothing to do with you. You've just been stuck in the middle of it dealing with it. And just because your mom is afraid of telling other people doesn't mean that you don't have the right to reach out for help. Don't let someone else's fear keep you, and maybe even your whole family, from getting a chance at getting better.

Hang in there, Saria.


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:34 AM

I just don't know what to do and that is why I just want to give up. There is no way out of this unlike everyone keeps saying


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:41 AM

*hugs*

I understand feeling that way. For me, there was a point where I couldn't see any way out of what was going on, or even to just deal with it. But it turned out that it was just that there wasn't any way through that I could see, not that there wasn't any way through at all.

It's definitely understandable that things right now would feel so confusing. Feeling overwhelmed is completely valid. But honey, not knowing what to do doesn't mean that you have to end everything. Talking to a counselor at your school really might help, but if you're uncomfortable doing that, talking to someone at a helpline, like Hopeline (1-800-442-HOPE), might help a lot. It's sort of like "over the phone" counseling, but anonymous, so you wouldn't have to worry about having disobeyed your mom.

Please hang in there, Saria. You can get through this. And we're always, always here for you.


Drown in the music,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:47 AM

Its just I don't want to get through this anymore. Even if I do, which I don't think I will, i will still have the memories and the same feelings towards my family. There is just no point.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:52 AM

Honey, you're the point. You matter. I wish I could find the words that would let you know how significant you are. I can understand not wanting to get through things because of still being stuck with the residue - but you won't always have to put up with what's going on in the same way. And people like counselors can actually help a lot in sorting out family dynamics and helping people work through memories, so there not always insisting on being noticed.

Please hang in there, Saria. I know that sometimes things can feel so completely - blanched out. But you still have so much left to live for. I know that it can sometimes seem untrue and really hard to believe, I promise, even if it seems like empty words, things will get better. The real kind of better. And taking care of yourself in the mean time can actually help things get better in unexpected ways, too, or at least make them not so impossible to deal with.

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:55 AM

I just...

I just don't want to hang in there anymore


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:58 AM

Is there any thought in particular that's making it seem like it's not worth it to hang in there?

But please hold on, Saria. We do care about you. I care about you. I know that even just holding on can feel rough, but life does always manage to find a way to smooth itself out.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 06:59 AM

Its just everything that is making me feel this way.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:04 AM

Well, you do have a lot that you're facing right now. Do you think you might be feeling so overwhelmed because you have been dealing with all of this largely on your own so far, without being able to ask for help from an outside hand? I know that sometimes when I keep stuff bottled up and try to deal with it all myself and don't tell anyone who might have been able to help me, I sometimes start to feel really sick of going through it, but talking to someone about what's going on often helps.


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:07 AM

I just don't know WHO to talk to and even if I did decide to talk to someone I always back out of it and change my mind.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:10 AM

Well, who are at least some possibilities? There are teachers, school counselors, people on helplines, the people from child protective services, your own doctor, relatives, neighbors, friends' parents... anyone you could think of?

And sometimes writing someone a letter or calling them and asking them if you could figure out a specific time to talk sometimes helps, asking the other person for help in making sure that you do talk to them. Remember, try at least to try talking with them; you don't necessarily have to say anything you're uncomfortable with, and talking with someone isn't necessarily making any sort of commitment.

Hang in there, Saria.


Drown in the music,
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block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:15 AM

I'm just to scared about being judged though or putting other people in hard situations to talk to anyone about it.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:19 AM

Both of those are perfectly understandable fears. I was worried about being judged, about suddenly becoming something less to other people when I first went to talk to my school counselor. But the scariest part about it is honestly our own fears. People like counselors and teachers, and most often relatives and neighbors won't judge. By the time people are adults, they've typically seen a lot, and know better than to judge someone for what they're going through. And you won't be putting anyone in a hard situation by talking about what's going on with them; if there is anything sticky about the situation, the person you talk to will most likely know how to deal with that, too. So you don't need to worry about that


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dance in the rain,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:21 AM

I just still don't think it is the right thing to do.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:21 AM

Are you still worried about your mom's disapproval?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:22 AM

Saria,

I am so sorry you are going through all of this but please don't give up because things can get better. I know it may not seem like it right now but bad feelings have a way of turning better in the end.

Saria, the things that are going on with your family are not your fault. The fact that your mother told you it was your fault is wrong. Parents are not supposed to place blame on their children.

I really think you should try talking to the school about the fact that you can't keep up with your school work; if they ask why maybe you and your family could say something like "she has been feeling really low". From experience schools don't ask for a more detailed reason into why a child is feeling sad. Do you think you could give it a try? You deserve to do good in school and if all these things that are going on are getting in the way of that you should say something to your teachers so that something can be worked out.

If your therapist is on holiday all the time maybe you could talk to her about finding another one? I know it might suck but in the end you deserve to have someone to talk to and if your therapist isn't providing you with the services you want than you should consider looking into another one. Talk to your therapist about her being on holiday all the time and see what she has to say.

Saria, please hang in there and if you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:24 AM

I'm still worried about everything. Nothing that I try seems to ever help.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
PM me anytime
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:27 AM

*hugs*

I understand feeling that way. But guess what? Right now, it's most important for you to focus on taking care of you. You don't have to worry about taking care of what your mom wants, or of making sure that everything's running okay in the meantime in your family. You don't have to worry about fixing what's going on. You just get to focus on taking care of you.

Jenna brought up a lot of really good points. Do you think you could maybe try any of the ideas we've mentioned?

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:39 AM

I don't know, Now all I am is confused. I can't think straight.


"Feeling Change - Memories Don't"
"Enjoy the Moment and don't let it end"
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
"He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble." 2 Corinthians 1:4
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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:42 AM

Try taking a deep breath. I find that they're often helpful.

You don't have to figure out everything right away. It's okay to think about what you could do, who you might talk to, what you might say, for a while before you actually do it. You don't have to make a decision about what you're going to do right now. I've found that it's often helpful to "destress" for a bit and then go back to addressing what's going on.


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:43 AM

Saria,

Dancer is right; you need to focus on taking care of yourself. I know you are confused about it but in the end you are important and you matter too.

Please hang in there and pm me if you ever want to talk.

~Jenna~


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Re: Over It - August 14th 2009, 07:51 AM

I guess I'll try think about something else for the moment. Thanks for the help. I just wish I knew what to do


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Re: Over It - August 20th 2009, 01:07 AM

Sometimes we just don't know what to do. And it sucks, I know. But what we fail to remember is that someone out there loves us. don't forget that.

SOMEONE LOVES YOU!


"No matter how bad something is hurting us... sometimes it hurts worse to let it go..."



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Re: Over It - August 20th 2009, 01:28 AM

Remember. In all the branches on the tree of life, you not any smaller than the one next to you. Each branch varies in shape in size, but without that one branch all the leaves that grew from there will fall off.

The moral is you are important, no matter how each bend or turn stem you are still there. Do not worry about the branch next to you. You are the most important in your life. You must care for yourself before others will care for you.

If have been through many twists and bends, but I still push to change the workings around me. I am the only one who can affect my life. If life throw you a lemon you don't make lemonade. Life can make its own lemonade.

Do not worry. That is the statement that makes the most meaning. The more you worry the most you think. Everything will work out if you put your best effort into achieving your desired outcome. Even if it doesn't work out, you are the only one who can do it. You are the only one who can achieve it. You are the only one who can make your future.
   
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