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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Oddoneout Offline
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Name: Daniel
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too late for help - September 28th 2009, 10:03 PM

I have been like this too long the pain and the fear has cemented itself into my head I can't be happy I can't change this is what I am


wanna talk?

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MSN: dancl667@hotmail.com

with or without religion a good person will do good and an evil one will do evil
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: too late for help - September 28th 2009, 10:43 PM

you can change how you feel, just keep your chin up and stay strong! suicide is a very perminate solution to a temporary problem.
everything is okay in the end, if its not ok its not the end. pm me if you need to talk!
Cherry
   
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Re: too late for help - September 28th 2009, 11:35 PM

Hey Daniel,

Im sorry your feeling so bad right now.

I dont know what your going through or what your current situation is but you can get through this. Things can change. Things will get better it just takes time. Your a very important person. If something is bothering you it dosent matter how big or small it is its important and you deserve to have somebody hear you out. Try to remember that.

You deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to get help with whatever is bothering you.

Can you tell us more about whats going on so we can try to help you some more?

If you dont think you can say it on here and you want to talk about it feel free to pm me anytime im on all the time and Id love to try and help you out. Take good care of yourself.


   
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Re: too late for help - September 28th 2009, 11:41 PM

I recintly wrote my life story for another site then put it up on my profile here it is

I have an older sister but she has a mental disability and can't develop mentaly past 7 so I had to be the older brother even though she is 5 years older then me my parints favered her they focused on her blamed everything on me avoided punishing her. when I get to grade one I found I had a learning disability no one realy told me what it was even my classmates knew more about it then me. I had alot of trouble with writing anything and was slow I eventualy just gave up on spelling tests when they were handed back so we could mark out own work I just marked everything as wrong and put my pencil down. I got alot of extra help didn't do much and it turned everyone agenst me funny thing here everyone seems to thingk bullying is always just one kid picking on another for me it was the whole class agenst me teachers didn't seem to care my parints said I was being unresonable to expect everyone to like me.

all this caused paranoia and hatrid for everyone if I had a bomb I would have killed my entier class I thought about doing it often. this went on until I changed schools in grade 6 I became the quiet kid and people seemed to leave me alone. I had a few freinds I didn't like them much but they were people to hang out with during resses. I don't remember much about grades 6 through 8 it is a blur but I think there was a suicide atmempt in there

in grade 9 I was quiet still and I was afraid of people I barly said anything and never said it loud enough to be herd. I saw that people had changed but my fear was too deep to shake I had one person I called freind but I didn't like him much but agen he was someone to hang out with. I hated english class I have allways stuggled with writing and anything to do with art. I am good at math but being good at something most people arn't isn't very helpful if you can't do the things most people find easy.

in grade 10 I found out what depression is and that I had it. I spent hours resurching trying to find a way to help myself without telling anyone. my parents were better then they were before but the fear of saying anything to complain stuck. there was nothing about how to help yourself out of depression all the sites said was tell someone I was afraid to tell anyone. I eventualy found this site and I think it saved my life the people there convinced me not to kill myself a start. eventualy my parints found out and got me some help it was too late the pain was cemented into my brain

in grade 11 my one freind got me into a group of his freinds they were ok people but I could barly talk because I was afraid of looking stuped. it was my first real socal interaction I had ever had and I had no idea how to act or what to say, I didn't know how people seemed to be able to talk to people

by grade 12 I had learned to talk more and in grade 12 I met a girl who showed intrest in me and I fell in love but there was a catch (if there wasn't one it probibly won't hapen to me) she had a boyfreind. it was the most frustrating thing that had ever hapened to me it was the first thing I had ever been sure of and I couldn't act on it. I eventualy told her about my feelings and we are still freinds but it is still frustrating

now I am in grade 13 and optrional grade where I am

I can't see my freinds as much anymore because of diferint lunch periods. being lonley is 10 times worse when you know what you are missing


and something new has started recintly. I have never realy been able to get my anger out and now it seems to be boiling over anger not directed at anyone or anything just at life. I have an urge to break things tear my room apart I find I am wishing someone would pick a fight with me so I can take it out on them

that is all I can think of right now I think there might be a few detals left out


wanna talk?

AIM: oddoneout667
MSN: dancl667@hotmail.com

with or without religion a good person will do good and an evil one will do evil
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: too late for help - September 29th 2009, 12:24 AM

It sounds like you have had alot to deal with and you have always felt you couldnt talk to anyone about how you are feeling. I wanna share something with you, when i was going through depression a few years back now i thought i would feel that way for ever until my psychologist said something and here it- feelings come and go but they never stay. sometimes we can feel down and other times we dont feel so lonely. I am wondering if you are talking to a professional at the moment? if not they can really help you through these feelings. There is light at the end of the tunnel and these feelings wont last for ever you just have to hang in there a bit longer. I know you have always felt you couldnt talk to your mum but try. being a mum myself I would want to help my kids out and if they need to talk I would be there for them and I am sure your mum would want you to talk to her instead of hurting. I hope this helps and I am always here if you need to vent or chat just pm me. Take care
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: too late for help - September 29th 2009, 03:16 AM

I used to have a therapist I quit they didn't help much I don't need a doctor I need friends to be more specific I need to spend less time alone. I don't have much chance to hang out with the friends I have and I think all this time alone is driving me insane. when I do see my freinds I feel ok temporaraly. I can't think too clearly at the moment I can't sleep very well.


wanna talk?

AIM: oddoneout667
MSN: dancl667@hotmail.com

with or without religion a good person will do good and an evil one will do evil
  Send a message via AIM to Oddoneout Send a message via MSN to Oddoneout  
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