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Marshki Offline
Its Shazzy time
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No longer me - October 2nd 2009, 10:19 PM

i don't know whats wrong with me anymore, i need and must die but just can't. i really do want to just fade away but something is stopping me from following everything through, and its just so annoying. Why am i such a failure and such a burden on everybody, it wasn't meant to be.

i can't be me anymore as i feel i'm already dead and gone, i was someone who lived in the past and this being is just a clone.

i wish i can be loved and cared for, not to be threated and scared all the time. wish i had a safe home and lifesytle, but i know these wishes can never come true.

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Beautiful_mind Offline
counsellor @ positive mind
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Re: No longer me - October 2nd 2009, 11:52 PM

like i said in chat room i really hope you talk to someone around you like yuor local doctor. i am sure there are people around you that love you and will support you in any way they can. if you arent safe at home then i think maybe you should tell the police and tell them about your home life if it isnt safe. pm me anytime
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Re: No longer me - October 4th 2009, 12:06 PM

Hi Shazzy,

I think that if you are considering or thinking suicidal thoughts then you do need to try and seek some help - whether it is from relatives, family friends, teachers, principals, guidance counsellors, school nurses, coaches, medical professionals, a hotline or even emergency workers. As Chantel has already stated, if you're not safe at home then you may consider calling the authorities or talking to someone you trust, such as a teacher, about what is going on at home. You do not deserve to be threatened and scared. Things can change for the better.

You do not need to die, you want to die - you are struggling at the moment and you want the pain to stop which is understandable. However, you do not have to hurt or kill yourself in order to escape that pain - there are other things that you can do in order to get away from that pain and for things to get better. You are simply looking for a way to remove any hurting or pain which most people would like to do, Shazzy. Perhaps you could look into some coping mechanisms or try and talk to someone and figure out things that you can do (safely) to change the things that you dislike about your lifestyle right now - things can change if you're willing to try and change them.

Take care.
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Marshki Offline
Its Shazzy time
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Re: No longer me - October 5th 2009, 05:50 PM

thanks chantel and stephanie but i just can't cope anymore, i can't tell anyone- its my dark secret and other would just not understand, i don't want to burden any more people, as i shouldn't worry them over stupid things and me.

i wish i can be able to cope with things but the thought of death is just to great- but just not have the guts to do it yet.
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