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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
katastrophic. Offline
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i am pathetic... - October 3rd 2009, 03:59 PM

I've been told I have nothing to be depressed about. I keep getting told that the past is the past and I should have moved on by now. I was raped two years ago and I still hold a lot of pain and emotion with that. And other things have occured before and since then. I am told that there is no reason for me to be sad or do the things I do... But the thing is, I can't help it. I know I have a good home. I know I have people that cares about me. I know I could have a lot worse of life. I know I have every oppurtinity in the world. But just because the material things are here doesn't mean I am doing okay emotionally... My parents are also ones who tell me that I shouldn't be depressed... and no one will try to understand or listen. But I can't stop it. I mean, how do you stop depression? I just don't understand.. I don't know what to do. And the thing is, I don't understand why I feel the way I do most of the time. One minute I will feel invincible. I am confident and I do things that I normally wouldn't because I just feel like nothing can come out of it. I don't understand these feelings at all. And at this time I won't sleep much, I can't focus on hardley anything, and I extrememly motivated. This comes from no where. Then other times I will all of a sudden be mad. And when I say mad I mean furious to the point where I want to hurt others. I start fighting with people, I yell at others, I become disrespectful to everyone including authority, and I get in a lot of confrontations. I'm not a disrespectful person and I don't know where this anger comes from? Then the rest of the time I am depressed. Like suicidal, nothing to live for, depressed. I pull away from everyone, I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, there is just nothing to live for. And it's not just saddness, its an extremely depressive mood. I don't know what's wrong with me, I don't understand what is going on, and I don't know how I can fix it? What am I supposed to tell people when they ask why I feel the way I do if I don't even know that answer? This is really hard.. I just don't know what to do...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 3rd 2009, 04:38 PM


I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you, but considering the experience I've had with other people who have suffered sexual assault, this isn't weird. It's commonplace for victims of sexual assault to suffer all times of post-traumatic stress and/or depression for years after the experience.

I'm sorry your parents aren't more understanding, it can be really hard when the people you trust most ignore your pain. Try talking to them, help them understand how what happened to you is still affecting you now. Hopefully, they'll start to understand and get you the help you need.

If that doesn't work, try talking to your school counselor. This is an issue they take very seriously and they will help you figure your feelings out and work through the pain of your rape so you can be happy and healthy again.

I hope things work out. If you need to talk, don't hesitate to PM me. *hugs, if you want them.*
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 3rd 2009, 08:10 PM

Your not pathetic hun =]
Lots of people are depressed years after events.. you have just as much right as anyone else to be depressed, you have plenty of reason, and Im so sorry you had to deal with those things.. Why dont you try and find someone your able to talk to.. someone at school, a counsellor.. If you wanna, PM me. x

[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
  Send a message via MSN to xxCookiiexMonsterxx  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 3rd 2009, 08:33 PM

Kataline- maybe this isn't wat you want to hear, but i felt like i wrote that. bcos the way you feel is so similar to the way i do.. well lately not as much. but i was exactly like that.
there really isn't a clear 'do it, it'll work' answer for not feeling depressed.

... for now i suggest that you spoke to someone, got your feelings about the rape out, (bcos however long ago it was, u will still have feelings about it, and still need to get them out). talk to someone about your life, and get some support. that usually really helps.
Find activities you like doing, find friends that promise lots of fun- this helps waking up in the morning. i have this crazy friend that will come up with the most random hilarious things, when i don't want to get up for school i think of her jumping up and down in my face and i get up.

Kataline, ur not alone, so many out there (me included) go through the same thing. it's hard, but we get through. don't doubt yourself, because if anyone else out there has gotten out of it, so.can.you.

Take care of yourself, and if you ever need anybody to talk to, i'm right here for you.
it isnt easy, but i promise it's worth it.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Halcyon Offline
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 4th 2009, 06:28 PM

Dear Katalina,

I am truly sorry to hear about your traumatic experience.

Dealing with intrusive memories is always difficult, no matter what they are. They can be like ghosts or, similarly, like a movie on playback, which can stir up emotions that are upsetting and sometimes debilitating and crushing.

When you think about it, two years really isnít a long time. Besides, no one can tell you how you are supposed to feel. Feelings are personal, and people with similar experiences will tell you that it takes time to heal. It does. But donít give up. What is today, isnít necessarily what is going to be tomorrow, or next week, or next month. We learn as we have different life experiences.

You are not pathetic. Depression clouds our thinking, and we often discredit ourselves through self-criticism that isn't warranted. Whatever has happened in the past, no matter how harsh, has played a part in building our courage and strength Ė so there can be good things that result from bad things. Next time you think bad of yourself, try and counteract that thought with something good about yourself.

No matter how much we know, we aren't always able to apply all that knowledge when it comes to our own suffering. Our suffering gets in the way of our thinking processes, at times. Thatís the wonderful purpose of this forum Ė it provides invaluable advice and support from those who understand what you are feeling. You will never be entirely alone Ė you have all of us, so lean on us when you need to.

Remember, we are all survivors.

Feel free to message me. Take care.

  (#6 (permalink)) Old
katastrophic. Offline
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 5th 2009, 12:21 AM

I'm trying to be strong and pull through this. I know I am not a weak person, and I know I have confidence in myself. But when my family, the people who are supposed to be here to support me, tell me that I am weak and helpless and that I have no confidence so I give myself up to guys- it's difficult. They are not going to allow me to go to college because of this. They say I'm not mature enough. But all I want is freedom. I want to be able to make my own decisions and deal with things on my own without their opinions making me feel worse. But they don't believe me. They think I am mentally uncapable of any form of responsibility or able to take care of myself. I try to tell them I feel trapped and that's why I act the way I do. I try to tell my therapist. But everyone just tells me I'm ridiculous and acting out for attention. They don't think I have depression. They don't think I have any mental illness, they think that yelling and lecturing me should whip me into shape. No matter what to say i can't get through to anyone... The one thing that has got me through these past years is knowing that come 2011 I will be able to graduate and go to college and be able to make decisions for myself since I am the only one who seems to understand me. But if that's not going to happen then I don't know how to keep pulling through...
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i am pathetic... - October 5th 2009, 06:13 PM

2011 it is then!!

grown-ups can be a PAIN in the butt... patience.. patience and then FREEDOM.

that's all. that's all anyone can do.

but trust me Kataline, it'll pass. it'll pass really quick, and when you look back you'll be saying "whew, that was rather unpleasent, glad im grown up now!"
*dreamy expression* of the day i can say it too!!

whatever you do, don't think less of yourself, hang on in there. i believe in YOU!!

best wishes

The Darker the NIGHT,
The brighter the dawn.
The longer the darkness lingers,
The more beautiful the light will come.

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