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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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UnknownLife Offline
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No Point - January 7th 2009, 12:00 AM

I feel so empty and worthless. I have no idea who I am/was anymore. I have no friends at all. No one to talk to. I'm failing college. I barely make enough to support myself. I haven't talked to my family in what feels like forever. I just seem to fuck everything up. Is there any point in going on? I'm so alone and depressed. I can't sleep anymore or eat. When I do sleep I wish that I never wake up. I don't know what to do anymore or where to go from here. I just want to die. No one would even notice or care. I just sit in my room all day doing nothing or Im at work and I work by myself too.

What can I do? Where do I go from here? I can't afford therapy or meds.

Last edited by UnknownLife; January 7th 2009 at 12:41 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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January 7th 2009, 01:00 AM

Hey Kris. Welcome to TH/Welcome back to TH. I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. I know that it all get to be almost too much to bear sometimes, but I know you can make it through this.

There is a point in going on. You are worth something. I know it sounds impossible right now, but things will get better. You are so young and you have so many great experiences and happy times to look forward to. Killing yourself would be stealing the opportunity for that happiness from yourself. And believe me, no matter how little people appear to care, you would be greatly missed. There are so many people that care about you. I care about you.

If you feel alone, the best thing to do would be to go out and try to make some friends. I know how hard that can be for some people, myself included, but it helps SO much to have someone to talk to.

If you ever need anything, don't hesitate a moment to PM. I'm always happy to listen and chat about whatever you need. I'm here for you.

Stay strong, you'll make it through this, k?

~Cody
   
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January 7th 2009, 01:31 AM

Thanks but I really don't think so. I've been like this for years and its starting to take its toll. I hate having my hopes up that something will change and then years go by and nothing does.

Even though I've never been diagnosed. I definitely think I have SAD or Avoidant Personality. I don't know how to talk to people. I just freeze up. So I don't think meeting new people is possible
   
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January 7th 2009, 01:47 AM

Well, it can get better, it really can.

Do you know if there are any free or extremely cheap counseling options in your area? Maybe something through your college?

As far as making new friends. I know it can be extremely hard, but if you just give it a try, maybe you'll succeed. What's the worst that could happen? Someone you don't know thinks you're a bit shy/socially awkward? So what?

And if that doesn't work, I'd be happy to talk to you whenever you need it. Just PM. I'm always up for a chat
   
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Re: No Point - January 7th 2009, 04:11 PM

I don't know if there are. There aren't any counseling services like that at my college I know that. I don't think counseling will help at all though.

I really don't care what people think of me. Thats not the reason why I can't talk. My mind just blanks and I don't know what to say so usually I don't say anything at all.
   
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Re: No Point - January 7th 2009, 04:23 PM

Hi there Kris, I'm sorry you're feeling so down at the moment, things must be really tough for you.
I can empathise with how you're feeling, as in you feel like you're just stuck doing nothing, and you don't feel like doing anything either, it's hard when you get to that stage to motivate yourself to do these things.
Have you ever thought of creating a list of things you'd like to achieve? They can be sort of like mini goals, things that you perhaps haven't done before or that you'd like to do again, start with smaller things and work your way up, reward yourself when you do these things (if in doing them isn't enough.) i think at the moment it's important for you to keep yourself going, you mentioned that you couldn't afford counselling or anything at the moment, but things wont change unless you want them to, you have to have some kind of motive to change.
How about your family? You mentioned that you hadn't spoken to them in a while, have you thought about contacting them again? They might miss speaking to you and perhaps talking to them will help your mood somewhat and motivate you to keep in touch more. Sometimes the people wo don't see/speak to that much mean more to us than we think, so try not to forget that they're there, I'm sure they care very much about you.
Are you sure that there is no one that you can talk to about this? Sometimes just having someone listen to you while you vent about how you're feeling can help a lot, just knowing that someone’s there. If not then don't forget you're never alone, there will always be someone here on TH for you.
Take care and my PM box is always open.


The prettiest things can come out of the coldest night.


At one point, all you ever did...
was everything you ever wanted.


Snap back to reality. <3
   
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Re: No Point - January 8th 2009, 12:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by beckie View Post
Hi there Kris, I'm sorry you're feeling so down at the moment, things must be really tough for you.
I can empathise with how you're feeling, as in you feel like you're just stuck doing nothing, and you don't feel like doing anything either, it's hard when you get to that stage to motivate yourself to do these things.
Have you ever thought of creating a list of things you'd like to achieve? They can be sort of like mini goals, things that you perhaps haven't done before or that you'd like to do again, start with smaller things and work your way up, reward yourself when you do these things (if in doing them isn't enough.) i think at the moment it's important for you to keep yourself going, you mentioned that you couldn't afford counselling or anything at the moment, but things wont change unless you want them to, you have to have some kind of motive to change.
How about your family? You mentioned that you hadn't spoken to them in a while, have you thought about contacting them again? They might miss speaking to you and perhaps talking to them will help your mood somewhat and motivate you to keep in touch more. Sometimes the people wo don't see/speak to that much mean more to us than we think, so try not to forget that they're there, I'm sure they care very much about you.
Are you sure that there is no one that you can talk to about this? Sometimes just having someone listen to you while you vent about how you're feeling can help a lot, just knowing that someone’s there. If not then don't forget you're never alone, there will always be someone here on TH for you.
Take care and my PM box is always open.
The thing is, after so many years of fighting depression, I've lost who I am. I don't have any goals and I don't know any goals I want to have.

As for my family, I will never speak to them again. I have no desire to ever see them again.

I'm very sure I have no one. I don't even know why I keep coming back to this site. It doesn't help me vent or anything. I still bottle everything inside of me. But its starting to fall apart now and I'm taking everything out on myself.
   
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Re: No Point - January 8th 2009, 02:21 AM

Hey there hun, PM me if you need to. I'd love to talk and help you out. Honestly, I know how it is. Sometimes venting, especially online, isn't enough. For meds and therapy have you checked into any assistance programs? I'm sure there has to be some around there.

Please please before you ever give up, PM me.
   
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