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Lacy Offline
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Name: Lacy Marie
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 1
Join Date: October 21st 2009

I dont know anymore - October 21st 2009, 03:17 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of more than two years broke up with me for another girl. He had sent me a long txt claiming that he still loved me but he was tired of making me cry (the only reason I had been crying was because he seemed distant and that scared me.). I drove two hours to the place he lived at 7pm to try to talk him out of it. He said he was starting to look at girls differently and said that he wasnt sure if he was still in love with me but he promised he would come back to me after he got through dating this girl. He and I had sex before I left even though I didnt want to but I though maybe it would presuade him not to leave. After we were done he said he did it to show me how much he loved me. Anyways he ended up coming back and now he says he wishes he would have never done it and he was sorry. I have very bad trust issues with him at the moment. This past Saturday my best friend Jess got into a car accident and was killed. I just dont know how to deal with this. And also like always mom and i cant seem to get along. That kills me to know that she doesnt even care when I feel like giving up completely. Its not her fault I suppose. She doesnt understand, she never has. But all of the time my stomach hurts, I cant sleep, and when I do sleep I cant stay asleep. I cry almost constantly. I dont want to hang out with my friend becuase when I do I just want to go home and be alone. I used to love to draw now I dont even try. At school my grades are slipping but I just cant seem to concentrate. I feel like its my fault that im failing every math test there is but I cant grasp the material. Everything is happening at once. Before all of this I was already upset and quiet but now I find myself staring off into space even in the middle of a conversation. I just feel physically and mentally drained. I dont know what to do... If my boyfriend leaves me again then its just going to hurt me more. And I hate the fact that I am in love with him. I wish I could just turn my back on him for hurting me but I cant. Idk
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