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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 03:09 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I will try to keep this as short as possible

- I got reffered to the crisis team a few months ago and almost had to be admitted to hospital but my mum said she would keep a close watch on me
- Now see a therapist at CAMHS, feeling better
- Things over a few months get worse. Start cutting again, and deeper, stop taking medication, almost went through with a suicide plan (only by chance that i didn't)
- Tell my therapist i cant take much more and im going to end up doing something stupid
- Tell her I have a lot of plans in my head about suicide
- Tell her all i want to do is die

and nothing is really happening. I think i should be admitted to hospital because i really feel like im going to flip and do something stupid but i feel like she doesn't think its a big deal. I feel like I'm going to have to overdose or something for someone to help me. I know it may seem like im doing it for attention, in some way i am because im crying out for someone to save me.

What should i do?
   
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 03:24 AM

I have been pretty much exactly in this position. I kept telling her how bad everything was, she kept nodding and smiling. It got me so frustrated because I was given the impression she was there to help, but nothing seemed to be happing. I don’t know what CAMHS is like in New Zealand, but as soon as I hit 16, the line was cut, all meetings where put to an end and I was left confused, very alone and right in the shit.

Be thankful that hasn’t happened to you.

Tell her everything, be brutally honest. Say, you aren’t giving me what I need, say you will be responsible for my death if you don’t help me, not next mouth, not next week, now. The one thing I regret about my sessions with CAMHS looking back now, was I was always expecting something. Her to jump up and say, dear lord! You must be helped! It doesn’t come unless you push for it, really, really push for it. I know it sounds harsh, but it might just be the only way you’re going to get anywhere.


~ http://livinglabyrinth.blogspot.com/ - Living with anthropophobia ~
Or on a much happier note, follow me into the land of the labyrinth :-)
   
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrunkenSheep1066 View Post
I have been pretty much exactly in this position. I kept telling her how bad everything was, she kept nodding and smiling. It got me so frustrated because I was given the impression she was there to help, but nothing seemed to be happing. I donít know what CAMHS is like in New Zealand, but as soon as I hit 16, the line was cut, all meetings where put to an end and I was left confused, very alone and right in the shit.

Be thankful that hasnít happened to you.

Tell her everything, be brutally honest. Say, you arenít giving me what I need, say you will be responsible for my death if you donít help me, not next mouth, not next week, now. The one thing I regret about my sessions with CAMHS looking back now, was I was always expecting something. Her to jump up and say, dear lord! You must be helped! It doesnít come unless you push for it, really, really push for it. I know it sounds harsh, but it might just be the only way youíre going to get anywhere.
Thank you My mum did talk to her and she said that she sounded worried about me, but all my therapist wants to do is CBT, but when i want to kill myself, right there and then I really don't have the energy to do CBT. Next time i see her i'll take your advice
   
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 07:14 PM

I am happy to hear things are going like that. Things will get better and she is right that you need to do that.
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 10:04 PM

Drunkensheep1066 is right.
You have to seriously push, and your mum to push.. it took a serious suicide attempt and my mum actually BEGGING them to put me in hospital for it to happen. I hope you get the help you feel you need.


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 3rd 2009, 10:57 PM

That is exactly how I felt a few weeks ago... I don't think they knew how serious I was about killing myself. Going to the hospital was the best thing for me it really helped. If you think you need to go then keep pushing it. You could always call the emergency number in your country and tell them you are suicidal and they will help you.
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Re: Please help me, I really don't know what to do. - November 4th 2009, 02:06 AM

Keep talking to your councillor, that's the first thing. When you are feeling suicidal you are unpredictable so it's completely understandable why you are scared you will do 'something stupid'. It sounds like your mum knows about it so that's a really good thing and also do you have a friend who you confide in? Someone to listen without judgement?
And also remember this won't last, there is a way out and you will get there in the end. I know things can seem hopeless and dark but just don't give up :-)
Pm me anytime you need to talk.
   
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