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Name: TK
Age: 32
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Depressed boyfriend - November 6th 2009, 05:35 PM

My long distance military college bound boyfriend is depressed. With work, military training, Harvard level classes, homework and endless responsibilities…the stress in his life is ridiculous. Beyond anything most of us have experience as civilians. He’s been to war and he’s had a tough life… when we first started dating he said I made him happier than he’d ever been. He told me he’d spent the last few years drowning with no one to save him and I was like coming up for fresh air, that I’d saved him.
It kills me that it changed. I know depression is chemical, it’s an illness… that this isn’t my fault. That this is about HIM and not me. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t kill me to see him in pain. He tells me all the time that he wants me to be happy. He reassures me that he loves me so much and that he wants me forever. I know he loves me. He does. I DO NOT question that. At all. But that doesn’t mean his depression isn’t hurting me. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t kill me that I can’t do anything to make him happy. He’s so busy that we almost never have time to talk. We used to talk all the time. And even when we do, he's not all that enthusiastic about it because by that point he's exhausted and being depressed keeps him from being excited about anything. I just don’t know what to do. The depression can make him so apathetic, it makes me feel like he doesn’t want me…I just want to go back to him being happy, to talking all the time, to him being excited about being together…to him having passion… he’s getting help at school but I just don’t know how to deal with this. He pushes everyone away when he's hurting. He told me that's just who he is and that it doesn't mean he doesn't love me. I hate that he's pushing me away, I hate that there is a wedge that's been created between us because of this illness. I cry every time I remember the way it was, I cry cos I feel so f---ing helpless... I just want him to be happy, to want me again as much as he used to.

(I'm kind of depressed myself lately and lot of it is caused by how drastically our relationship has changed)

Last edited by Insomniacs_Dream; November 6th 2009 at 05:49 PM.
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Savanna Offline
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Re: Depressed boyfriend - November 6th 2009, 06:12 PM

I am so sry have you talked to him. Mayby you should get out all those feelings inside of you to.
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boyfriend, depressed

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