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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Ella.x Offline
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I feel so lost - November 9th 2009, 08:28 PM

I feel so small and scared and confused. M councillor, my psychiatrist and the guy from the crisis team are all making me talk about my past. I know that everyone says it's supposed to get worse before it gets better, but bringing up all these memories is making me feel awful. It's like it al happened yesterday. I feel so vulnerable. My meds have been switched again. I'm hoping so badly that the new anti depressants will work. I don't know how much longer I can cope feeling like this. I'm trying this time, I really am. I'm trying to let them in, I want to get better, but it's so hard. I'm crying myself to sleep every night again. My cutting is spiralling out of control. I'm a mess. I just want it all to stop. Any support would be much appreciated.
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 9th 2009, 09:51 PM

Hey Ella,

I'm so sorry your feeling this way, but it is great that you are getting help. If you need someone to talk to about just feeling horrible, pm me or vm me, I'm here for you.



I'm so tired of pretending everything's okay, my tears are starting to show and my smile is fading away.
PM or VM me if you need me, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or to just listen. I also have most messangers if you want to talk on one of those.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I feel so lost - November 9th 2009, 10:05 PM

Hey Ella,

I am sorry that you are going through all this. But I am glad you have got people trying to help you. It is true that sometimes things do have to get worse before they can get better. I can understand that it would be painful to talk about some things from the past but they are better talked about rather than left bottled up and only coming back to you at a later date. It is better to deal with things so then hopefully they won't affect you so much.

You can get better Ella and right now you are being ever so strong and doing all the right things to get there. Stay strong
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 9th 2009, 10:20 PM

Hey Ella :] I definitely get how you're feeling. I think it's really great that you're getting help for your emotions, but I know that sometimes that help can be scary and a bit overwhelming, and it at first does not always seem helpful. Talking about things can hurt, but what's important to remember is that things always tend to get a bit harder before they ever get easier. Recovering from any emotional problem isn't easy, and the process can be difficult. Why not share with your psychiatrist and counselor that talking about these things is hard for you? Maybe they will be able to share with you some ways to make talking about these things a bit easier on you. Remember that these people want to help you, and that things can only get better. The pills you are taking may not yet be helping, but give them time. My antidepressants took awhile to kick in, but once they did it was a huge relief, you will feel a million times better. All I can say is keep hanging in there. Things are obviously tough for you right now, but I can say from experience that they can't possibly stay that way forever. If you need to talk, you can always PM me





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 10th 2009, 10:06 PM

I feel so awful. I can't stop crying. I don't know what to do. someone help, please?
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 10th 2009, 10:13 PM

Ella I can really relate to how you feel. Please hold on. You are not alone. PM me if you want.
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 10th 2009, 10:17 PM

I want to overdose so badly but I promised my psychiatrist I wouldnt. I'm scared that if i try again and fail, I wont be allowed to be on anti depressants. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I don't know how much longer I can last without trying to kill myself again.
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 10th 2009, 10:22 PM

If it helps at all, try to remember your promise to your psychiatrist. I don't know how you feel about him/her but my psychiatrist is the only person I can trust and the only person who I feel cares about me. so sometimes when I want to die I think of her.. or when I can't make myself eat (I'm a recovering anorexic) I think about eating for her. Please don't do anything. I know everything seems horrible right now and I know how scary it is. I am scared to but you are not alone. try to do something to distract yourself.
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 11th 2009, 07:51 PM

I feel really low again this evening. Having withdrawal effects from stopping the sertraline. I feel really bad. I can't stop shaking and my hands and face keep tingling an then going numb. I don't feel sane. I'm crying for absolutely no reason. I don't understand myself. My body doesn't feel like my own anymore.
   
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Re: I feel so lost - November 11th 2009, 08:11 PM

Try to remember its just the meds.. can you call your psychiatrist and tell him/her that you are having a horrible reaction? you shouldn't have to suffer like this. You should ease of the meds. try to stay calm. drink some tea or something
   
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