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gun-grave Offline
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Unhappy I am depressed... - January 15th 2010, 10:21 PM

I'm 20 years old with a bad record of social interactions and child abuse, I have no friends (never had a girlfriend) and I'm usually isolated from the rest of my family (I don't get along with them anyway). I have had my thoughts drift off towards suicide but never took it seriously because I consider myself a catholic.

But in also being a catholic I take things hard in life, for example my hormones drive me insane because I deny myself sex and other pleasures, and I feel very bad about how easy it is to commit mortal sins. To make things worse I've had some nervous breakdowns before because I successfully lost alot of weight last year but gained it back. So now I feel like I can never will myself to go through all that torment to lose weight again.

When I'm all alone and not distracted by the internet, food, or video games I reflect on life and religion and go through an emotional roller coaster. Guilt, anger, sadness, uselessness, hopeless, happiness, and I usually come back feeling negative. The other thing is that I'm very withdrawn around people, I basically don't socialize anymore. Throw me in a group of people and I'll shy away to the sides and not say anything.

I've tried self-help books but it actually discourages me by reading all these success stories, for example the book chicken soup for the soul only makes me mad about how I have no one supporting me or helping me. I'm not sure what to do because I fear that one day being religious will no longer matter when I reach the point of total depression.
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Through-Glass Offline
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Re: I am depressed... - January 19th 2010, 08:23 AM


First of all, welcome to TeenHelp. I hope you enjoy the time you spend on this site, and can recieve the help and support that you need. If you have any questions pertaining to the site, you can always send a PM to me or another Buddy.

You must be having such a hard time right now. However, try to realize that things can and will get better. I suggest that you talk to someone close to you about how you are feeling. It may seem scary at first, but it's so worth it! You deserve help through this difficult time, but you will not recieve such support unless you reach out and ask for it.

Take care, and if you'd ever like to talk, feel free to PM me.

"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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