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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
sianimusegirl Offline
Not a Fall Back Kid
Welcome me, I'm new!
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Name: Sian
Gender: Female
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Join Date: January 8th 2009

Last Curtain call - January 17th 2010, 02:38 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel like ive finally reached an end point in my life
ive learnt everything i can
Ive seen enough of the human race to know i dont wanna be part of it anymore
I have this huge gaping hole inside of me thats just swallowing everything up
Its to much effort to breathe
to think
i need someon to hold me
so i can feel human contact
to know im alive
i cant cope living with who i am
i hurt everyone around me, im sick and twisted, i dont deserve to be loved, i just everyone
I think maybe i hate myself?

Dont try to fix me.....
Im too broken </3

She's playing the actress in this bedroom scene

She's learning her lines from glossy magazines

Stringing all her pearls from her childhood dreams

Auditioning for the leading role on the silver screen

Just Another Chelsea Monday?

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Whisperer Offline
Find yourself and be that
I've been here a while
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Re: Last Curtain call - January 17th 2010, 03:10 PM

Hey there,
Sounds like you are going through a rough time right now. I wish I could give you a hug right now, I really do. I hope a virtual hug is better than nothing. Everyone deserves to be loved. I think you just need to believe in yourself. Tell yourself you'll be able to get through this, even if it is hard. I believe in you. I think you CAN do this and you WILL do this. Try talking to someone. Whether it's a friend, family member, or therapist, letting things out always helps. If you can tell someone about how you are feeling, you'll be able to have someone help you through this. Hang in there, it's going to be ok.
PM me if you every want to talk.
Take care,

Whatever it is, chances are I've been there.
If I can make it out, you can too.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
thisiscourtney Offline
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Join Date: November 11th 2009

Re: Last Curtain call - January 18th 2010, 01:36 AM

There's so much to learn and so many people to see, I don't think you've done everything yet. I don't know where you live, but the people of your country or any country you've visited may suck. This doesn't mean that everyone in the world sucks. I might know how you're feeling, because I have felt like the world holds no hope. Yeah, some people are bimbos, but you have to look past those people and find the ones who are intellegent and caring. I've only found a few and those people are seriously amazing. So keep looking and look hard. Of course we all hold our own preference of what we want in a friend, so look for people that are more like you. I always tend to go for the more quiet, reserved type.

Like sk8rchik mentioned, talk to someone. It will definitely fill the hole or at least help. I once wrote a letter spilling my guts. I didn't send it, but I felt like so much weight had been lifted off of my shoulders just for writing it and seeing all of my thoughts on paper. Try that. Try to find the details of what's truly bugging you, and work on the small things to make yourself happier, then work up to the bigger stuff. The thing is, you need to WANT to be happy. It may feel hopeless, but there is definitely hope. Check out the recovery stories on this site and you'll see that it is possible to get out. Good luck.

Waitin' for my ruca.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
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Re: Last Curtain call - January 18th 2010, 04:42 PM

just wanted to encourage you to reach out for help to people in your life because it sounds like you may have a mental illness such as Depression. Many Mental illnesses like depression are treatable with medication, therapy, and lifestyle changes such as eating balanced meals and getting enough sleep. It is however very very hard to go it alone. Your life is valuable, and with treatment things CAN get better.

I hate myself a lot too. think im a dissappointment. think i'm a screw up. but i also think the world is a better place because of its screw ups, and losers, and out casts, and sinners, and freaks. there are a lot more of us than you would think, and i don't think just because we're a minority means we should give in and conform or kill ourselves. weirdos do great things. most great artists and inventors had some major issues, but they are thought of as major contributors to our society. if you stick around, maybe you would help the world in some way even if it would just be being a kick butt parent some day, or being a mentor to a teen later in life or something.

sometimes when i feel like people would be better off without me i watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv2DyzhxpA0 its a music video that is about suicide, and has real parents whose kids killed themselves talking about how hard hard losing their children. the video is only a few minutes long and may make you rethink if you believe that your family would quickly move on.

the only thing you can count on is change, so why don't you stick around? This too shall pass. Things get better, things get worse, but it won't be this way for ever. Don't be afraid to ask for help. your life is valuable.

You're NOT alone. feel free to VM or PM me anytime.


When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
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